About to walk away from my family

Pollycat

newcook wrote: »

please make friends with the carriage return button - your post is hard to read!

Maybe take a look at jem132's signature and cut her a bit of slack?

sulkisu

jem132 wrote: »

When me and exh split he went and rented a posh studio flat in town the kids every weekend for 18mts he then got a girlfriend and dropped contact to sat 12 till sun 12 kids hated her and blamed her move on 1year he splits with her tells me becose she got herself pregnant but tells kids they just didn't get on allso told me he had no intention of having anything to do with the child I told him it would bite him on the !!!! lol ds2 asked dad can we have a baby I had a miscarriage at 20 weeks he said no way noing full well one was on the way. He went bk to having kids every weekend Fast forward to Nov 2011 i was moving house he was allso moving to a 3 bed around the same time he didn't see kids for 6 becose he was moving all was fine after Xmas kids had there own rooms all good ds1 flits between home and dads he has no rules I do so has his own room there little two Shere like home all good till he tells them in March they have 4 mt old brother and can only have them every other weekend ds2 works out he's been lied to and refuse to go, no birthday cards or present for him then he decided he wanted to go see his brother only to find out the baby is in his bed living there 8 mts in a bed???? He has never been again and says he never will won't eventually about him other kids say we have done bla bla. He just says he don't care.

So just think about how you deal with it it could affect you and kids forever

Did I read this right?

Your ex left you, had his own flat and a new girlfriend. He tells you that he has left his girlfriend because she got pregnant and that he wants nothing to do with that baby, and you then get pregnant by him again.

Please tell me that I have misread your post.

findingmyownway

Why can't you and your children continue to sleep at your parents on Friday nights for the year or so it will take for you to find a bigger house?

I don't see how it matters to the kids where you sleep for the rest of the week, as long as their time with you and their GPs stays constant.

Then a few hours on a Sunday with your GF and new baby is an 'extra' rather than a sudden replacemement for quality time with you.

newcook

Pollycat wrote: »

Maybe take a look at jem132's signature and cut her a bit of slack?

I'd already seen that Jems dyslexic but that shouldnt stop her using the button to seperate sentences

jellyhead

Does your gf's house only have one bedroom?

As someone whose father never had his kids to stay overnight once he'd moved into his new gf's house I can tell you that your children will be very hurt, especially if they can see room for a sleeping bag anywhere.

Also why are you saying you want to see them friday nights and sundays? surely saturday would make more sense? They could sleep over with your parents on the friday night after spending time with you, then you could go back and get them on saturday morning after they'd had some time with their grandparents.

katiechoc_2

loveasale wrote: »

I'd walk barefoot over broken glass for my kids, and you can't even find a bit of floor space for them to stay the night with you?
Sorry but I think your out of order

This. Sorry, its harsh but, IMO, true. Get some blow up mattresses and get a grip.

FattyBettyBoo

Did I read this right?

Your ex left you, had his own flat and a new girlfriend. He tells you that he has left his girlfriend because she got pregnant and that he wants nothing to do with that baby, and you then get pregnant by him again.

Please tell me that I have misread your post.

I think you did mis-read it. I read it that they had had a brother/sister on the way as the other woman was pregnant. Not sure how the miscarriage fits in but doesn't sound like she got back with him so assuming it was before they split.

VestanPance

Sorry to say OP but you sound like a very immature selfish person.

For a start you don't seem to have even considered that your ex may not give you the option of no overnight stays for your children. Since you split you may have found that she actually has a life too, and that night has most likely become her "me" time. Is she expected to put her life on hold until you sort out better accommodation sometime in the future?

Also not only that but what do you think you're kids will feel about you not wanting to spend that time with them? Hurt, angry, upset. Added with the further knife to their heart that daddy is off playing happy families with his new child. If anything now is the time you need to re-enforce just how important they are to you, not reduce the time you spend with them.

As for your cousins advise it's ill thought out. It sounds like you've been doing things for you for years now. Plus when you become a parent you the first thought should be how will this impact my children, not being selfish at the expense of your children's well being. You gave up the it's all about me option the second you became a father.

19lottie82

I agree. I’m finding it hard to imagine a living room that doesn’t have a small sofa (2 seater is large enough for a child to sleep on), and once some furniture has been moved about, enough floor space, for one of these

http://www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/3675504.htm

Otherwise, spend Friday nights at your parents with your children.

Your post suggests that it is your new partner that isn’t keen on having your children to stay. If this is the case, will she be so keen on spending HER wages on a larger place, just so they can stay, a year down the line, as you have suggested?

Also if I was your ex, I would be VERY miffed if you took away her only night to herself a week! You say you haven’t “run it past her yet”, so be warned!

jem132

sulkisu wrote: »

Did I read this right?

Your ex left you, had his own flat and a new girlfriend. He tells you that he has left his girlfriend because she got pregnant and that he wants nothing to do with that baby, and you then get pregnant by him again.

Please tell me that I have misread your post.

You have miss read my post sorry .
My pregnancy was not by exh. By my then dh who I love dearly.

Newcook I am sorry you found my post hard to read I use a program on my ipad and had nicked off my grammar button.