Grandparents looking after grandchildren

*max*

I agree with the others, leave them to it. I have a feeling this little arrangement won't last long!

It's bonkers. I doubt they've fully realised what they would be taking on tbh, not only with all the kids, but with the travelling everyday as well. It's an insane scheme any way you look at it.

SuzieSue

*max* wrote: »

It's bonkers.

And very dangerous. The parents of the children whose lives are being put at risk need to get together and write a joint letter to the grandparentss explaining their concerns.

CH27

Stay out of it or you'll end up being the baddie.
The brothers need to stand up to their parents.

tyllwyd

If nothing else, I would be very unhappy for my kids to be spending that long in the car everyday. Will some of them have to be picked up and then driven to the other house before being driven back to the grandparents, and then the same in the other direction? That doesn't sound healthy for the kids, let alone the risk of a crash if the driver is tired.

Are both grandparents retired? Childminders would only be allowed to have three children under school age, so five means a full-time job for both of them.

But in the end, it is the parents who have to make the decision. Personally, I think a good local childminder and a few days out to see the grandparents would be a much better solution. (My two both went to a childminder, and they love her so much that my problem now is trying to persuade the 9 year old that she is too old and should really stop going!)

notanewuser

tyllwyd wrote: »

If nothing else, I would be very unhappy for my kids to be spending that long in the car everyday. Will some of them have to be picked up and then driven to the other house before being driven back to the grandparents, and then the same in the other direction? That doesn't sound healthy for the kids, let alone the risk of a crash if the driver is tired.

Are both grandparents retired? Childminders would only be allowed to have three children under school age, so five means a full-time job for both of them.

But in the end, it is the parents who have to make the decision. Personally, I think a good local childminder and a few days out to see the grandparents would be a much better solution. (My two both went to a childminder, and they love her so much that my problem now is trying to persuade the 9 year old that she is too old and should really stop going!)

One SIL thought that was the plan - childminders 2/3 days a week near home and then grandparents on the other days, and not all at the same time. The other SIL does as she's told (and all the boys are tight like their parents).

Granny has never worked. Grandad retired at 59.

Caroline_a

This sounds like a recipe for disaster! What if grandparents are ill? For example, a dose of upset tums could wipe the everybody out - or leave parents in the lurch! Like most people, I would never have had any of my children when they were that sort of age be in a situation like that, with (dare I say it) older people driving around with them all in the car.

Edit - just thought, what would it be like in a car with 5 babies.... all setting the others off crying!

Mojisola

Apart from anything else, I wouldn't want my children left with people whose adult children are frightened to say "Thanks but we've made our own arrangements".

choccybuttons

I would say where on earth are they going to put 5 cots for the children to have their naps.

There is no way I would be traveling up to 2 hours a day to get to childcare. You would never see your children if you were working full time, I think I would have a breakdown. I work 8.30 - 5.30 and only live 20mins away from home (30+ in rush hour), its still manic to get the kids home, fed and put to bed by 7/7.30 AND Im exhausted.

I would say you would be using about £25 a day in petrol plus adding mileage to car. I would happily pay the bit extra and pay for a childminder/nursery plus you can use tax credits or childcare vouchers.

Im pretty sure if they were childminders they would only be able to look after two children under the age of 1.


http://www.ncma.org.uk/childminders/become_a_childminder/childminding_ratios/ratios_in_england.aspx
How many children can I care for?

In England the number of children a childminder may care for and the indoor space requirements are set out in the Statutory Framework for the Early Years Foundation Stage, Safeguarding and Welfare requirements. The numbers of children set out below represent the maximum number of children who may be cared for by a childminder at any one time.

Each childminder may care for:

• a maximum of six children under the age of 8;
• of these six children, a maximum of three may be young children*, ( a child is defined as a "young child" up until 1st September following his/her 5th birthday).
• no more than one child may be under the age of 1.

belfastgirl23

Em seriously what's going on with the brothers here?

In your shoes I'd be encouraging your DH (as eldest brother) to speak up on his concerns about his parents health.

Otherwise though I'd say ask a few gentle questions and then keep well out.

gibson123

I agree you should stay out of it, sounds like your SIL wants to hide behind you, she needs to learn to stick up for her kids herself. You can tell her how to do it, but not actually do it for her if you know what I mean.

My Mum who was in her late sixties when my DD was a baby wanted to look after her FT, but I thought it was too restricting for my Mum and she would end up resenting my baby. I put my foot down and insisted, it didn't stop my Mum picking her up early (breaking her out of jail in her opinion) and taking her to the park or for ice cream. I am so glad i did now because all my DD daughters memories of her granny are good ones, they were always having fun together and my Mum always had DD because she wanted to spend time with her not because she was obligated.