Would you/ could you adopt?

POPPYOSCAR

fawd1 wrote: »

How ridiculous. I really feel for you, that's an awful thing to happen. How much weight is too much weight? Just curious because I'm not the slimmest of girls myself!

I agree it is ridiculous.

If being overweight stops you from being a good parent then half the children in the country should be taken into care!!!!!!

jtr2803

j.e.j. wrote: »

And you can never feel the same way about an adopted child as you would about your own flesh and blood.

For what it's worth, I think the same way. I don't think I could love an adopted child like I could my own biological child and that's the second reason I could never adopt (the first one is that I just don't really like children!). This obviously might not be the case in reality but I would be too scared to find out.

I think those that adopt are wonderful, it takes a very special type of person to do so, it just isn't for me.

VfM4meplse

Bumping this as its the nearest I can find to an active adoption thread. I accept from previous posts and elsewhere that its a long and laborious process. My view is so what, anyone easily discouraged by obstacles can't want the outcome that much and may as well spend their lives hiding under a duvet. Not for me.

I had a chat with a foster parent and that process seemed straightforward, but I realise that adoption is not the same thing and additional stringency would apply. I would like to know what to expect of the process - am after details so I can be prepared. Also common reasons cited when prospective parents do not get through the process (aside from being a risk to the child or an obvious menace to society). Am expecting to have an initial conversation with a SW shortly who I'm sure will give me their side of things, but the voice of personal experience as someone who has been through this process would also help.

TIA

Ms_Chocaholic

Alikay wrote: »

I've heard that often with adoption, you're "on your own" once the children have been placed, whereas with fostering there's more ongoing support and training. Without a doubt adoption is the cheaper option for the local authority, but maybe long-term fostering would be better for a lot of very damaged children, as the new parents could then access psychiatric help or other therapy for the child plus much-needed respite for themselves.

Psychiatric help/therapy is provided by the NHS in the UK and is open to all children, irrespective of whether they are fostered, adopted or children who remain with their own families.

Ms_Chocaholic

fawd1 wrote: »

How ridiculous. I really feel for you, that's an awful thing to happen. How much weight is too much weight? Just curious because I'm not the slimmest of girls myself!

The difficulty adoption agencies face is that, when completing an assessment, they consider all aspects of the applicants who wish to adopt. If, in this case, weight is an issue, this could lead to a reduced lifespan. The same would apply if the applicant(s) were a heavy drinker/smoker/had a life limiting illness.

susan1

j.e.j. wrote: »

And you can never feel the same way about an adopted child as you would about your own flesh and blood.
QUOTE]

As a parent of an adopted son, what a load of rubbish.

Dunroamin

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Bumping this as its the nearest I can find to an active adoption thread. I accept from previous posts and elsewhere that its a long and laborious process. My view is so what, anyone easily discouraged by obstacles can't want the outcome that much and may as well spend their lives hiding under a duvet. Not for me.

I had a chat with a foster parent and that process seemed straightforward, but I realise that adoption is not the same thing and additional stringency would apply. I would like to know what to expect of the process - am after details so I can be prepared. Also common reasons cited when prospective parents do not get through the process (aside from being a risk to the child or an obvious menace to society). Am expecting to have an initial conversation with a SW shortly who I'm sure will give me their side of things, but the voice of personal experience as someone who has been through this process would also help.

TIA

Are you thinking of adopting a baby or an older child, a single or a sibling group?

Rummer

I would love to adopt and in fact my OH and I had always planned to adopt an older chid/teenager when our children were old enough however due to health reasons on both sides we would not be eligible. It is deeply saddening knowing that we will never be able to provide a home however we will just need to give back in a different way.

olibrofiz

' And you can never feel the same way about an adopted child as you would about your own flesh and blood.'

Only if you had a heart of stone.

dandelionclock30

What the adoption agencies dont tell you is that a quarter to a third of all adoptions permanently break down. In comparison, the same cannot be said for children raised within their birth families. The attachment is different if its your biological child compared to an adopted one. No ifs and buts it just is.
Prospective adopters often go into it not knowing how it is and thinking that getting a baby will be like having their own. It wont, you dont ever get a blank canvas, ever.
A lot of adopted children have a lot of issues and many adopters are not prepared properly about it.They just want the child end of story.
Also adoption agencies are paid a lot of money by Local Authories when they get homes for their children so its in their interests to find a match if possible.