Declining A Wedding Invite

Pthree

July is months away, who knows what will happen between now and then!!

Say yes now, and if you still feel like this on the day then go to the service and fake a migraine or something for the "do" afterwards.

As for old people saying "it'll be you next" just start saying that to them at funerals!.

newcook

Pthree wrote: »

As for old people saying "it'll be you next" just start saying that to them at funerals!.

Hahaha!! Thank made me chuckle!!


OP if you do get asked why you are still single just tell them you are too busy sh@gging anything that moves to get tied down just yet!!

Do any of your married friends have single people they could set you up with? Sometimes they don’t even realize they have other single friends in the same boat as yourself that you would be perfect for!
Unfortunately all the single men my friends have are single for many reasons – hence why they wont set me up!!

Or you could ask your married friends if their OH will let them have a night out with you so you aren’t out on your own – but go out to have a night with your friend, not to pull – the opposite sex can spot those on the pull a mile off! Someone having a good time with friends is always more attractive than someone with ‘hunter eyes’!!

Idiophreak

newcook wrote: »

OP if you do get asked why you are still single just tell them you are too busy sh@gging anything that moves to get tied down just yet!!

Or just say "I'm only 28, I'm not ready to settle just yet"...coupled with the right stare and a raised eyebrow, that should stop them asking any more questions

Lunar_Eclipse

Mojisola wrote: »

I would wait until an invite comes and then just send a polite reply saying you're unable to attend - you don't need to give a reason.

Send a card and/or a gift and wish them well.

This was my initial thought, but the more I think about it, I think you should go to the wedding, if you're invited. 'It would be rude not to'.

I'm a married person who has never enjoyed weddings (& some other family engagements), but I also think they're important. Your cousin's wedding isn't about you, it's about all the guests helping the happy couple celebrate something that is important to them.

So I now advise you to stop thinking about yourself and to fake it if you need to.

Also, aren't weddings a popular, albeit corny place where people end up meeting their future life partner?

chandler91607

Sending an invite and inviting all the family is being gracious, just like if your parents were invited and the invite left you out is being rude.

That said, there is nothing that says you have to attend. There are always people who can or can't attend. I would wait for the invite to arrive and then tell your parents to reply that you are unable to attend. But, whatever you do send your own polite response as well and attach a gift.

Mojisola

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

So I now advise you to stop thinking about yourself and to fake it if you need to.

I think the "stop thinking about yourself" cuts both ways.

I wouldn't have wanted anyone at our wedding who felt obliged to there but didn't think they would enjoy the day. Okay, it was an important day for us but we wouldn't have expected someone who hated the idea of coming to attend.

KxMx

I don't mean to be rude but when a person is long-term single the last thing they need are comments such as "you never know when you might meet someone" etc.

Because time and time again they have been expecting to and it hasn't happened. After a while you resign your self to the fact you don't get what other people have and don't expect it.

Thus comments like that just make a person feel abnormal because up until now they have not met someone. So why would the future be any different.

Fire_Fox

shaz77 wrote: »

Thanks all for the feedback.

I guess part of me was a bit jealous that my cousin has found a lovely girl to spend the rest of his life with and I'm as usual on my own, when July comes I will be the person sitting with the old ones explaining why I'm single. I do like my cousin and for that reason I will make some appearance at the wedding.

I've tried dating sites, but where I'm from the pool is fairly limited and a lot of the people on these sites either don't respond or are a bit strange. Going out can also be difficult, most of my friends are married off so when I go out it is often alone.

You have been given loads of solutions and options and you are being negative/ dismissive/ ignoring all of them. We have suggested what to say to nosy parker relatives. Why do you have to only look at dating sites with women in your immediate area? If you meet Miss/ Mr Right you could relocate - you are only 28 and plenty of people have successful long distance relationships! Yes dating sites are full of Miss/ Mr Oh-my-gawd-no: you have to kiss a lot of frogs and all that. There are some highly amusing books about people who decided to spend a year going on as many dates as possible, maybe read one for inspiration?

Sorry to be blunt but you are not some special case loads of people have the same issues, but they have a positive attitude and make it happen or they decide to appreciate being single. If you have clinical depression please get help with that, for you own sake and because negativity and closed mindedness are not attractive traits.

Fire_Fox

KxMx wrote: »

I don't mean to be rude but when a person is long-term single the last thing they need are comments such as "you never know when you might meet someone" etc.

Because time and time again they have been expecting to and it hasn't happened. After a while you resign your self to the fact you don't get what other people have and don't expect it.

Thus comments like that just make a person feel abnormal because up until now they have not met someone. So why would the future be any different.

Are you speaking for all long term singles? Clearly not the OP who has only been single for a year or less, which is hardly long term. Do you think everyone who has been on Jobseeker's Allowance for a year should stop looking and resign themselves to a life on benefits? Or do you think they should work hard to maintain a positive attitude, review their criteria, seek outside help from many sources with their job search, applications and interview technique?

I have been single three years since the cheating bar steward and do not see that changing in the near future because honestly the risk-benefit is not worth it to me. If I truly wanted it I would get out there and meet as many men as possible and it would happen, also look at whether I was being too blinkered and fussy - I don't mean settle for second best but consider men living further away, younger or older, different looks or interests, maybe even those with kids.

One thing that is different between children and adults is that we add too many BUTs to life - some of these stop us from being run over/ evicted/ sacked, but many are just internal barriers and excuses. People whinge about house prices in the south but they won't relocate north. Yet plenty of people relocate/ meet new partners through dating sites/ sell up and go travelling/ pay off their mortgage every year. They don't allow BUT to get in the way they make it happen, and often accept that it's could take years to get where they want to be.

"No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent" Eleanor Roosevelt.

KxMx

I'm glad you're happy FireFox being single but that is not the case for all of us.
Optimism can only last through so many hurts and disappointments and you eventually just become resigned to it not happening.

Not everyone meets their Mr Right like in a Disney film. People can be doing everything to meet someone and it just doesn't happen.

Thus comments such as "maybe you will meet someone at the wedding" just become hurtful and condescending frankly. As though you hadn't been to x amount of weddings before and not met anyone.

It may happen that way for others but not or everyone, and when you've been single a long time you do resign yourself to nothing happening because so far there has been nothing to prove you wrong, and as I said optimism and hope can't survive forever.

I can well understand why OP doesn't want to go to another wedding as a singleton, especially a family event where you are a women of childbearing age/ all your peers have kids.

I know someone said earlier about people having kids later, but I am 25 and there is still a huge expectation that by my age you should have had them. My friends have also remarked on this same issue. You've only to look in the media where they label a woman in her 30's as a "geriatric" mother!