Declining A Wedding Invite

shaz77_2

heartbreak_star wrote: »

So extend an olive branch. You don't know if you don't try!

HBS x

Sort of tried, my ex has a new partner, I know it's not really a great relationship but it's comfortable and there is the security of knowing that the person my ex is involved with will always be there. My ex works a lot more since we broke up and I know the new new relationship is quite minimal but at least my ex is healing.

When I contacted I was told that they were "Happy settled and moved on," since then there has been no response and I can't blame them.

split_second

going to a wedding when single is odd, i went with a mate and his gf of the time, and it wasnt too bad.

if you arent close to your cousin its a bit awkward, i'm not close to mine on one side of the family and feel bad about pressure to invite them. i found that when i moved out, most of the family on that side discarded all obligation to invite me, my uncle remarried earlier this year, parents invited, me and my fiancee didnt get invited.

shaz77_2

Just got an invite today to Christmas dinner at my cousins, I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and attend the wedding.

newcook

shaz77 wrote: »

Just got an invite today to Christmas dinner at my cousins, I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and attend the wedding.

why?! if you dont want to go, you dont have to go - though for all you know you might even have met someone by then and be all loved up!

You cannot spend your life thinking ‘what if’ and dwelling on the past – life is for living and you only get one shot at it so you might as well live it how you want to not by how others tell you to. Its far too short to sit feeling sorry for yourself.

As I said before, if you don’t want to go then tell your parents you wont be going.

Get yourself on dating sites, out with friends, joining clubs etc and have some fun and find your smile again – you never know, you might even meet someone who completely sweeps you off your feet!!

Mojisola

newcook wrote: »

Get yourself on dating sites, out with friends, joining clubs etc and have some fun and find your smile again – you never know, you might even meet someone who completely sweeps you off your feet!!

But do it to enjoy yourself - don't go expecting to find your soul mate around the next corner or you'll come over as desperate and will put people off before they have a chance to get to know you.

newcook

Mojisola wrote: »

But do it to enjoy yourself - don't go expecting to find your soul mate around the next corner or you'll come over as desperate and will put people off before they have a chance to get to know you.

Sorry, yes – I meant to get on them to get out and about and socializing more (Im still half-asleep!!)

stir_crazy

Idiophreak wrote: »

I've honestly never really understood this...Most weddings I've been to, I've gone as part of a couple, but I've never really considered them as being particularly couply affairs. I tend to spend more time dancing around like an idiot with friends and family than I do smooching with the wife.

In fact, the only weddings I've not really enjoyed have been the ones where the wife and I don't know anyone...where there's smooching to be done, but no idiotic dancing...Maybe that makes me weird.

I agree, I've never thought that they are particularly couple-y either, but having been to a few this year, I've noticed that people tend to go as couples or groups. (I also agree about the weddings where you dont know anyone, I much prefer to be up dancing like a loony:rotfl: ). So I can kind of see where the OP is coming from if s/he is single and doesn't feel like s/he can integrate into a group.

OP, I think you need to get out and about more, to start with, maybe join an interest group, or see if your local pub does a quiz or dance lesson evening (my old local used to do salsa lessons on a Thursday). Once you start socialising then maybe address the being single part. You are only 28, so there is plenty of time for you to meet someone if you want to.

Idiophreak

stir_crazy wrote: »

I agree, I've never thought that they are particularly couple-y either, but having been to a few this year, I've noticed that people tend to go as couples or groups. (I also agree about the weddings where you dont know anyone, I much prefer to be up dancing like a loony:rotfl: ). So I can kind of see where the OP is coming from if s/he is single and doesn't feel like s/he can integrate into a group.

People do go in couples or in groups...but that's not an accident. People planning their weddings should really think about who's invited, and who they'd know. We had a couple of people who were kind of "one offs" to our wedding - and we made a point of organising a couple of social things prior to the big day (as well as the stag/hen) to introduce people to a couple of others that would be going - so at least they had a couple of faces they recognised around. On the day itself, we asked the best men and ushers to chat to these people, introduce them to the people around them etc.

To be honest, though, in the OPs situation, I wouldn't be doing anything...they're family, their parents are going etc so I'd expect them to have plenty of people to chat to...the fact that OP doesn't get on with her family seems the bigger issue here than her being single.

shaz77_2

Thanks all for the feedback.

I guess part of me was a bit jealous that my cousin has found a lovely girl to spend the rest of his life with and I'm as usual on my own, when July comes I will be the person sitting with the old ones explaining why I'm single. I do like my cousin and for that reason I will make some appearance at the wedding.

I've tried dating sites, but where I'm from the pool is fairly limited and a lot of the people on these sites either don't respond or are a bit strange. Going out can also be difficult, most of my friends are married off so when I go out it is often alone.

balletshoes

shaz77 wrote: »

Thanks all for the feedback.

I guess part of me was a bit jealous that my cousin has found a lovely girl to spend the rest of his life with and I'm as usual on my own, when July comes I will be the person sitting with the old ones explaining why I'm single. I do like my cousin and for that reason I will make some appearance at the wedding.

you're only 28 - so if and when older folk ask you why you're single, or make comments at the wedding to you like "will you be next" you don't have to go into any explanation other than a cheery "oh I've got ages yet/plenty of fish in the sea/i'm doing my own thing" etc. In my experience (as I said, I had about 15 years of it) folk ask these questions at weddings for one of 2 reasons - because they are nosy so-and-sos (several aunties of balletshoes, I'm looking at you ) or because they're making what they think is polite conversation. So in either of those cases, all you're doing is making polite conversations back.