Declining A Wedding Invite

glitter03

I would wait for the invitation and then send them a response declining the invite, wishing them well along with gift or whatever.

If your parents do reply on your behalf then you just do the above with an added note explaining your parents accidentally accepted on your behlaf but unfortunately you cannot make it.

burnoutbabe

I can understand not wanting to go if you know no one etc.

but surely you'd know your parents and can chat to them.

Would people be questioning you all the time about being single? could you not take a friend along anyway?

Easier to just say yes to wedding and reception, and then don't bother with evening thing, as thats when one tends to get a bit bored (and not sat down eating)

heretolearn_2

I love a good wedding party, don't care if I'm single or what. But I understand it's not everyone's cup of tea.

Just ask your parents to be sure to check with you first if you are added to their invitation (but as an adult it's unlikely you will be, only little kids don't get their own) or pass the invitation on to you if it's your own one. They have no right to respond for you. Then just send a polite 'with regrets' reply and think of an excuse for a prior engagement if your parents give you a hard time.

But couldn't you re-think?

The last wedding I went to (on my own) the happy couple had themselves met at someone else's wedding they were both at on their own... so you never know.

but in any case, being single isn't a failure, and a family wedding surrounded by your nearest and dearest can't be all that lonely, surely:cool:

Dunroamin

I can see the difficulty if this was a sibling's wedding but it is only a cousin.

Brighton_belle

heretolearn wrote: »

and a family wedding surrounded by your nearest and dearest can't be all that lonely, surely:cool:

It really can. Been there worn the tee shirt. The loneliness can be excruciating if you are not in the 'right place' and I think the OP is doing well to recognise this and avoid. It's not like it is a sibling. Her parents don't sound enormous fun to be at such events with ('forcing her to go etc, not treating her as an independent adult)
I was a bridesmaid 5 times as an adult and never met anyone at a wedding.

OP I do think you need to wait for an invite though and then if your parents inexpilcable answer on your behalf, advise your cousin of their error.

rita-rabbit

I would go to one of the events. I must say, however, that people can sometimes be tactless towards singletons: one of my cousins married a few years ago & my brother attended with his girlfriend, I alone - several distant relatives asked me about partner &/or children (of which I had neither). I still had a great time however!

KiKi

Politely decline if you want to go, but don't ask to not go.


However, one thing I would add as a generic statement - not necessarily for this specific occasion, as the OP may not be close to their cousin - if a single friend or relative didn't want to come to my wedding because it made them wish they were married, I'd struggle with the fact that they couldn't put their feelings aside for one hour or so to be there for me.

Equally, if I didn't invite single people I'm sure they'd be pretty !!!!ed off to not be invited, saying "I bet it's because I'm single"!!

I hate going to parties, really hate them. But I go for an hour or so when it's a friend because it's *their* party and they'd like me there - and it's not always about me! I agree that it's good to look out for yourself and I'm not saying we should be martyrs and put ourselves in a miserable situation. But there's a balance between doing the right thing for yourself and being selfish. (I should know, I veer too much towards the latter!)

shaz77_2

fluffnutter wrote: »

Please don't see being single as a shortfall - it's not, it's just where you are in your life right now. This thread is a bit sad really; there's more to it than whether or not to decline your cousin's invitation. I think you sound a little bullied by your family, or at the very least, that you're a disappointment to them

Thanks for that but for me it is a very sore subject, because I'm rarely seen with a partner at 28 question marks have been raised about my sexuality within the family and outside of it, however this doesn't bother me. The other thing is that a due to me being single I'm considered quite odd and a bit of an outcast but again that doesn't bother me, however about a year ago I lost the love of my life as the result of family instrusion and I've never got over it. Therefore a wedding doesn't appeal to me in the slightest; I will be just pondering what could have been.

Newly_retired

i hope you do get an invitation as you will feel worse if you are excluded. You can then decide whether to go or not - maybe just go for part of it.
As a married person, I would quite like to go on my own to certain weddings! DH hates any social occasions, so if we go together I am always worrying about how he is coping.

Torry_Quine

shaz77 wrote: »

Thanks for that but for me it is a very sore subject, because I'm rarely seen with a partner at 28 question marks have been raised about my sexuality within the family and outside of it, however this doesn't bother me. The other thing is that a due to me being single I'm considered quite odd and a bit of an outcast but again that doesn't bother me, however about a year ago I lost the love of my life as the result of family instrusion and I've never got over it. Therefore a wedding doesn't appeal to me in the slightest; I will be just pondering what could have been.

If you don't want to go for the reasons given then don't. Your cousin would surely want you to be happy if you went and it doesn't sound like you would be. I can quite understand that being on your own would be difficult.