Declining A Wedding Invite

fluffnutter

Speaking to your cousin beforehand will cause more intrigue and possible upset than simply politely declining if and when the invitation arrives. After all, something along the lines of 'You know your upcoming wedding? Well, I'd prefer it if you didn't invite me' does sound a little churlish and presumptuous! If you're concerned your parents might respond on your behalf, ask them not to.

shaz77_2

balletshoes wrote: »

why would they do that? do you live at home?

No but all post still goes there, a recent birthday invite also went there to which I also declined.

The wedding is all anyone in the family is talking about and I've already practically been told I'm going. I such wish people would realise that for some of us weddings are a horrible and lonely day that simply highlight your own shortfalls.

fluffnutter

balletshoes wrote: »

exactly this - no-one sends out wedding invitations with the expectation that every single invitee will be able to attend.

Indeed. When we got married we sent an invitation to my husband's brother and his wife knowing full well that they were highly unlikely to be able to make it from Australia. You still send the invite though.

fluffnutter

shaz77 wrote: »

No but all post still goes there, a recent birthday invite also went there to which I also declined.

The wedding is all anyone in the family is talking about and I've already practically been told I'm going. I such wish people would realise that for some of us weddings are a horrible and lonely day that simply highlight your own shortfalls.

Please don't see being single as a shortfall - it's not, it's just where you are in your life right now. This thread is a bit sad really; there's more to it than whether or not to decline your cousin's invitation. I think you sound a little bullied by your family, or at the very least, that you're a disappointment to them

former_student

Yes weddings are horrible experiences for singletons, I just decline all that I'm asked to, I really wish people would stop asking me.

fluffnutter

former_student wrote: »

Yes weddings are horrible experiences for singletons, I just decline all that I'm asked to, I really wish people would stop asking me.

I know they can be a trial, but isn't it even worse to not invite someone who's single?? "Sorry, but I only want couples at my wedding. Single people make the place look untidy with their hangdog expressions and air of desperation".

It's bad enough being single without also being a social pariah! I bet there are loads of single people who love a good wedding. Plus it's a great opportunity to meet someone

floss2

shaz77 wrote: »

No but all post still goes there, a recent birthday invite also went there to which I also declined...

So set up a postal redirection, then your mail goes to where you live...

lostinrates

Whether it goes down well or not, tell your parents you will not Be going.

You cannot really speak to the cousin in advance as you may not be on the invite list at all, it's a little presumptious.

balletshoes

Maybe I was in a different situation to you OP, but I had about 15 years of being single, generally not taking any partner as my "other" on family wedding invitations etc and I had a good time at most of them. It was a chance to have a drink and a chat with loads of my relatives I rarely saw at other times (I was a bridesmaid twice as a singleton as well).

If you've permanently moved out of your parents' home, get that mail re-direct sorted out, start informing your bills/card/bank companies that you've moved, so your mail doesn't go to their house anymore.

newcook

When your parents tell you when it is just say ‘oh no, really?! I’ll be on holiday then – such a shame. Oh well’

You could even actually book a couple of days away and have a bit of ‘me’ time!