Massive Argument!

Coopdivi

It's a good story.

Person_one

Shelldean wrote: »

We had similar with DD last yr, but as I reasoned with her, if she was renting or paying a mtg and went away, then the rent would still have to be paid while she would also pay for her holiday accomadation.

She gave me small amount in the end, it wasn't the amount so much as she learnt how things in the real world work.

Do people really charge their student children to come home for reading week? :eek:

I hope she gets her own back and charges you rent if you ever have to stay with her once she's an adult with her own home.

Coopdivi

zaksmum wrote: »

My son's friend, when a teenager, stormed out of his mum's house when asked to pay board that was about 15% of his take home pay.

He also announced he would live with his girlfriend where he'd be made welcome.

The girlfriend's dad immediately laid down some rules which the lad objected to, so the dad told him to sling his hook.

Initially too proud to go home to his mum, he got a room in a local Salvation Army Hostel where an alcoholic 45 year old man took a fancy to him.

The lad was back at his mum's like a bat out of hell, wild eyed and begging to be allowed to come home and more than happy to pay the board!

OP, stand your ground. Your lad needs a reality check...time for him to grow up!

Alcohol isn't allowed to be taken into any Salvation Army Hostel. If any resident tries to enter whilst under the influence they are refused admission until they have sobered up. Repeat offenders are permanently excluded.

I can't say for all Sally Army hostels but the one I lived in only had single occupancy rooms.

Perhaps you're going back a few years to when things were different may be though.

Shelldean

Person_one wrote: »

Do people really charge their student children to come home for reading week? :eek:

I hope she gets her own back and charges you rent if you ever have to stay with her once she's an adult with her own home.

yep she most probably will get her revenge at some point.

But I as I stated before I had little choice, household finances are very difficult (and about to be made worse by OH being made redundant)
Her being here added extra expenses to an already stretched budget.
I didn't charge her 'rent'.
I got her to help with the extra food and elec she used. She also sits up till stupid o'clock watching dvds snacking and feels the cold so has the heating on. this soon adds up.
She chooses to do thes things so pays for the priviledge.


I'm really really glad you can all support your children as they should be whilst at Uni, but due to circs beyond my control I cant. This is how we have to manage

silvercar

Shelldean wrote: »

yep she most probably will get her revenge at some point.

But I as I stated before I had little choice, household finances are very difficult (and about to be made worse by OH being made redundant)
Her being here added extra expenses to an already stretched budget.
I didn't charge her 'rent'.
I got her to help with the extra food and elec she used. She also sits up till stupid o'clock watching dvds snacking and feels the cold so has the heating on. this soon adds up.
She chooses to do thes things so pays for the priviledge.


I'm really really glad you can all support your children as they should be whilst at Uni, but due to circs beyond my control I cant. This is how we have to manage

I find this so sad. Sad that financially things are so tight that you need to charge her and sad that you think it a privilege for her to come home. I am delighted when mine come home and the pleasure I get from having my offspring back in the nest is something I would pay twice over for.

Shepherd1

Shelldean wrote: »

We had similar with DD last yr, but as I reasoned with her, if she was renting or paying a mtg and went away, then the rent would still have to be paid while she would also pay for her holiday accomadation.

She gave me small amount in the end, it wasn't the amount so much as she learnt how things in the real world work.

You said it wasn't about the amount of money, and now you are saying it is

kiss_me_now9

anxious_mum wrote: »

thanks...i'm really struggling to know how to help him right now.....I know he has done wrong, but I do still want a relationship with him, of course i do...he is only 19!

But! He has done wrong! He needs to know!

Yes, he's done wrong - and yes if he had a flat he wouldn't be able to do the same...

But for petes sake, he's still a teenager, he probably doesn't full understand why it's such an issue. Talk to him. And stop doing things for him until he starts paying (personally, I feel £50 is excessive for one packed lunch and some washing done, but there we go) again. Cancelling and not telling you is not on but it doesn't warrant being chucked out...

BillTrac

Standing order???

Bloody hell, my mother expected the keep in hard cash. She even prevented me from moving away to work as she could only see it as losing some money. And she took half my bring home pay. Too stupid/naive etc to know any better at the time. Was 18 but I think kids of that age are much more wordly-wise these days.

I remember the straw that broke the camels back. Even though she did very little for me, no packed lunches, no hot meals, but at least I had bed and bath. In those days I, as did most people, got paid in cash on a Thursday. She wasn't in when I went out for the evening, but rather than be sensible and wait until the Friday morning she was up waiting with her hand out for her keep. At 2am!!!

And she spent most of the money at the pub.

I walked straight out again and she never got another penny in keep. Took a long time to even talk to her again.

With both our daughters we took a token amount and actually put it into accounts for them both. We didn't really need it but took it to help them realise that nothing in life was free.

They both had a lovely surprise when they were given their money back:rotfl:

Not really helpful I know

zaksmum

Coopdivi wrote: »

Alcohol isn't allowed to be taken into any Salvation Army Hostel. If any resident tries to enter whilst under the influence they are refused admission until they have sobered up. Repeat offenders are permanently excluded.

I can't say for all Sally Army hostels but the one I lived in only had single occupancy rooms.

Perhaps you're going back a few years to when things were different may be though.

Yes, this was when my son was a teenager as was his friend.

He's turned 40 now.

FizzledOut

On the strength of the OP's original post, I have asked my DS for 15% of what he earns. It's worked well for us, and when one of his friends also moved in he pays the same although he earns a fraction of what DS does, but 15% seems fair. However ... they are both off in Thailand for 4 months - as they aren't earning I've decided not to take anything from them, although I can't possibly rent out the rooms short term as both have a significant amount of "stuff" in their rooms. To be honest, their contributions paid for the council tax - I'm struggling since COCH (caught out cheating husband) was shown the door in February ....