Finding That Special Person

Person_one

VestanPance wrote: »

My own comment of size 6 being horrific wasn't aimed at naturally size 6 girls, but those that have starved themselves that way in order to fit some ideal.

You didn't actually make a distinction though.

miss_independent

VestanPance wrote: »

You really shouldn't play down on your looks.

Although I've long since thought the majority of women don't understand how attractive they are, and if anything the majority of guys have an over inflated opinion of their looks.

It's got to the point where I don't care. I mean I care in terms of making the most of my appearance, having good hygiene and wearing nice clothes but I certainly don't do it for men, just for me. But, if a man never found me beautiful or pretty I don't really care and likewise I'm not hugely bothered about looks in men either - looks fade, if we are lucky we all get wrinkly and grey. But strength of character, humour and kindness never fade and that to me is the main thing.

Ugh. I sound like a Hallmark card.

VestanPance

Person_one wrote: »

You didn't actually make a distinction though.

True, I said most rather than that which obviously didn't clarify the meaning of what I said.

londoner01

universalady wrote: »

THIS, I saw my soulmate in a shop window when I walked past! :rotfl:

Erm, if this is not a joke, I have to hear this story!

Person_one

miss_independent wrote: »

It's got to the point where I don't care. I mean I care in terms of making the most of my appearance, having good hygiene and wearing nice clothes but I certainly don't do it for men, just for me. But, if I man never found me beautiful or pretty I don't really care and likewise I'm not hugely bothered about looks in men either - looks fade, if we are lucky we all get wrinkly and grey. But strength of character, humour and kindness never fade and that to me is the main thing.

Ugh. I sound like a Hallmark card.

Actually that's a really good attitude.

I would never want to be with someone whose main attraction to me was my appearance. I want to be sure that my partner will stick around if I get ill, or have an accident or something else that affects the way I look. Someone who wouldn't care if I went bald, bright purple or lost limbs.

I think online dating would be good for you. You can get a good sense of a person from the way they write, and its their words rather than their looks that are the first thing you base your decision on.

Make sure you pick a suitable site though, don't go on Plenty of Fish if you want a lasting serious relationship, and don't go on Guardian soulmates if you're a tory voting investment banker! Find one that seems to be for people like you.

VestanPance

miss_independent wrote: »

It's got to the point where I don't care. I mean I care in terms of making the most of my appearance, having good hygiene and wearing nice clothes but I certainly don't do it for men, just for me. But, if a man never found me beautiful or pretty I don't really care and likewise I'm not hugely bothered about looks in men either - looks fade, if we are lucky we all get wrinkly and grey. But strength of character, humour and kindness never fade and that to me is the main thing.

Ugh. I sound like a Hallmark card.

Ok, once again but this is just my view and information I have from talking to male friends.

See when you said you got looks walking down a hall going to a yoga class with your hair tied back and no make-up on. That's because you are pretty. Those guys you caught glancing at you where thinking some very naughty thoughts.

Just like pretty much every guy I know who uses public transport to go to work talks of all the hottie office workers on the train/bus etc. Yes, not all glammed up to the nines for a night out. Everyday office clothes sitting on a train reading a book or listening to music. Pretty much a certainty there are a few blokes sitting admiring.

I really do think many women don't see that they actually are attractive and should take pride in that. Maybe your bullying when younger has impacted that for you.

True relationships require way more than attraction, but for most it's that initial attraction that opens the door to those great things you describe.

On_My_Lonesome

miss_independent wrote: »

It's got to the point where I don't care. I mean I care in terms of making the most of my appearance, having good hygiene and wearing nice clothes but I certainly don't do it for men, just for me. But, if a man never found me beautiful or pretty I don't really care and likewise I'm not hugely bothered about looks in men either - looks fade, if we are lucky we all get wrinkly and grey. But strength of character, humour and kindness never fade and that to me is the main thing.

Ugh. I sound like a Hallmark card.

Fabulous attitude! :T

I'm starting to think we need to start an MSE dating site there seems to be a fair few people on here that are looking for Mr/Miss right and at least everyone would have something in common and plenty of subjects for discussion.

*max*

On_My_Lonesome wrote: »

Fabulous attitude! :T

I'm starting to think we need to start an MSE dating site there seems to be a fair few people on here that are looking for Mr/Miss right and at least everyone would have something in common and plenty of subjects for discussion.

Discount vouchers, mortgage rates, best time for yellow stickers in Tesco...lol

On_My_Lonesome

*max* wrote: »

Discount vouchers, mortgage rates, best time for yellow stickers in Tesco...lol

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:It would be a better start than some of the approaches I had when I tried online dating sites.

System

Person_one wrote: »

Actually that's a really good attitude.

I would never want to be with someone whose main attraction to me was my appearance. I want to be sure that my partner will stick around if I get ill, or have an accident or something else that affects the way I look. Someone who wouldn't care if I went bald, bright purple or lost limbs.

I think online dating would be good for you. You can get a good sense of a person from the way they write, and its their words rather than their looks that are the first thing you base your decision on.

Make sure you pick a suitable site though, don't go on Plenty of Fish if you want a lasting serious relationship, and don't go on Guardian soulmates if you're a tory voting investment banker! Find one that seems to be for people like you.

*ahem*

7 months on and still going strong...

Though come back to me in a year to see if we're still together