Finding That Special Person

VestanPance

miss_independent wrote: »

I've asked...I've begged them to tell me actually. They say when I walked into the room they thought I'd be really intimidating but when I spoke to them they thought I wasn't like how I thought I would be. An older male friend said that if he was my age he wouldn't know what to say to me so he wouldn't try. I don't get it...I try to be nice to everyone but often people (men and women) don't give me a chance?! Actually, older people and children are always nice to me but people in my own age group can be really off-hand with me, they just don't want to get to know me.

Intimidating to me = arrogant and I detest arrogance. I have a dance background so I walk with a straight back but counteract that by smiling and being friendly, though I wouldn't say I'm confident (I'm just good at hiding it). I was badly bullied at school...I don't know if that's still having an impact on me.

As I say I don't think that it could be solved on here. I've done my fair share of talking about myself! Poor OP, I am sorry...

Based on that I'd say you probably come across as arrogant or I guess the female label tends to be ice queen like, even if you are not. As I say it's hard to see or understand how others view you.

Like me I was told I came across as intimidating and it turns out a few folk have thought that. I wasn't trying to be, I wasn't being arrogant. Maybe my height plays a part in it, but it's pushed by the fact I was just listening to conversations with minimal input as they where discussing things I knew little or nothing about.

Funnily enough the very same people now have made comments that one of my better features is that I don't waffle about things I know nothing about and I tend to get straight to the point about things I do.

Once they know me it's a good thing. On first meeting it's a negative.

miss_independent

tesuhoha wrote: »

My daughter has the straight back, head held high and is size 10.

Mummy? :D

Oh drat! You said she was stunning! Wrong mummy!

Person_one

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

Have to agree, and this is coming from someone who is a size 20.

My sister is a 6/8, she's just naturally skinny and tall. But she's as much of a woman as i am and far prettier!

I have a good friend though who has never been able to put weight on and she hates it, she doesn't feel 'womanly' and hates having visible bones. We can be nice about bigger women without having to counter it by being mean about very thin women.

bluenoseam

Person_one wrote: »

You know, people who are a size 6 (and lots are naturally) don't deserve to be called unattractive anymore than anyone else does.

forgive me my point might have been a little "off" - there are ofcourse differences between individuals ofcourse, but the majority of size 6's I see it's not an attractive look as it's often what I'd call a malnourished look.

Person_one

bluenoseam wrote: »

forgive me my point might have been a little "off" - there are ofcourse differences between individuals ofcourse, but the majority of size 6's I see it's not an attractive look as it's often what I'd call a malnourished look.

Well next time you're tempted to make such mean-spirited comments, please think about how a naturally size 6 or 4 person might feel reading them.

I wouldn't go around diagnosing malnutrition unless you're a doctor or a dietitian either.

*max*

Oooh nice one...From now on, I'm not fat. I'm overnourished. :T

VestanPance

miss_independent wrote: »

Oh drat! You said she was stunning! Wrong mummy!

You really shouldn't play down on your looks.

Although I've long since thought the majority of women don't understand how attractive they are, and if anything the majority of guys have an over inflated opinion of their looks.

miss_independent

Didn't mean to open up a "weight debate". Dress sizes are subjective anyway.......a size 10 on my 5"8 friend is skinny, on me it's curvy and I have jiggly bits. I do have a more womanly shape but when you've grown up in a leotard and tights looking at yourself in a dance studio mirror, womanly isn't what you are aiming for and there is a huge pressure to look like celebs like Cheryl Cole who are tiny.

I should never have brought weight into it, sorry.

VestanPance

Let's face it there is no "perfect" size. People tend to have a natural body shape and I often think that is when they look their best, no matter what dress size that happens to be.

My own comment of size 6 being horrific wasn't aimed at naturally size 6 girls, but those that have starved themselves that way in order to fit some ideal. That is just my view. In the same way size 10 type figures tend to be the body shape of women I've been attracted to over the years.

*max*

Aaaaaaand the spammers are spamming.