13 yr old daughter dating a 17yr old

Alikay

I've been on both sides of the "older boy dating younger girl" scenario with both DD and DS2. Admittedly, not with a 4 year age gap, but DS2 started seeing his girlfriend when she was 15 and him 17, and he turned 17 before she turned 16. We obviously warned him about the possible consequences of underage sex, and how "sex" didn't only mean intercourse in the eyes of the law. We did our bit to deter temptation such as not leaving them in the house alone etc, but her parents were more relaxed (or trusting...I don't know!). Whether there was any underage activity, I don't know.

They're still together a year and a half on, and he was no more a sexual predator 18 months ago, than he is now, a young airman who happens to have a student girlfriend a couple of years younger.

Dunroamin

Call me old fashioned but I don't believe that a 13 year old should be "dating" anyone!

Nicki

Dunroamin wrote: »

Call me old fashioned but I don't believe that a 13 year old should be "dating" anyone!

OK, you are old fashioned

I don't think a 13 year old should be having sex, but more gentle romantic relationships at that age have been going on since the beginning of time.

F_Bear

unfortunatly times have changed and children grow up to fast.
????

Times have changed and now 13 year old girls and 17 year old boys don't mutually fancy each other? My only point was that a 17 year old boy does not necessarily kiss or even mildly grope a consenting 13 year old girl because he is a sexual predator and dangerous, as some have suggested.

None of the relationships were sexual though there was some heavy snogging at the time.

hes already 'inappropiately' touched here, this isnt just 'heavy snogging'.

times have chanaged as everyone is aware of the consequences of such actions, espically so with the jimmy saville situation in the news.

if hes 17 and she 13 and he watches the news he MUST know what he is doin is WRONG, both morally and legally.

personally id send her dad round to have a word with him

Alias_Omega

Buellguy wrote: »

This. OK I'm ex-forces (22 years). If she is a lower rank than him he could be in a lot of trouble over this, it is abuse of position

You need to find out if the lads is a Air Cadet, or an Instructor (aka CI).

Air Cadets can hold the rank of Corporal, not to be confused with the real rank of Corporal. The rank would be used to maintain some form of order, before a procedure of events instead of the CI's undertaking it.

I would speak with one of the instructors, ideally one of the officers. They will wear RAF Officer rank tabs, with VRF pin badge through them.

Buellguy

Alias_Omega wrote: »

You need to find out if the lads is a Air Cadet, or an Instructor (aka CI).

Air Cadets can hold the rank of Corporal, not to be confused with the real rank of Corporal. The rank would be used to maintain some form of order, before a procedure of events instead of the CI's undertaking it.

I would speak with one of the instructors, ideally one of the officers. They will wear RAF Officer rank tabs, with VRF pin badge through them.

A bar code on their shoulders :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Sorry couldn't resist (22 in the Army LOL)

bonjovibel_729

Buellguy wrote: »

A bar code on their shoulders :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Sorry couldn't resist (22 in the Army LOL)

thanks no i dont think he is a 'real' corporal as you say just someone a bit higher up as he has been there longer

bonjovibel_729

F_Bear wrote: »

hes already 'inappropiately' touched here, this isnt just 'heavy snogging'.

times have chanaged as everyone is aware of the consequences of such actions, espically so with the jimmy saville situation in the news.

if hes 17 and she 13 and he watches the news he MUST know what he is doin is WRONG, both morally and legally.

personally id send her dad round to have a word with him

he knows its wrong as he told her he will get into trouble if i go and see the officers

Faith177

It can't harm to have a word with the senior officer but just take it easy.

When I was in the cadets this sort of stuff happened all the time! God the things I got up to if my mum know I would have been a dead girl by the age of 15.

Normally we would get a talking to from the senior officers as a group and told what was expected of us. That should scare him enough to make him think again.

Hopefully this will be the end of it for you and your daughter will be ok.

bluenoseam

I think the other thing to remind a few people is that 17 year old guys don't work on common sense - sorry to shatter the illusion, but the majority of 17 year old males will try to have sex with anything that moves. He knows it's not right (hence "don't tell the CO or I'll get in trouble") and pretty much anyone with any sense knows it's not right, might not be the most predatory thing going, but how many times have you heard "and the victim didn't tell anyone as they'd been told they'd get hurt". Sounds very familiar to "don't tell the CO or I'll get in trouble" doesn't it?

(God I'll be a nightmare if I ever have a daughter!)