Grandparents Presents - Double Standards?

mummyroysof3

havent read the whole thread but i think that your wife is right in a way but life is to short to get stressed and upset about what others do and what you cant change.

as for the chips incident i personally dont see what the problem is...your kids had both parents there so why should you expect someone else to pay for your kids food.

Dunroamin

fluffnutter wrote: »

TBH, alias, if you're the success you say you are, why were you letting your mum buy anything at all? Why weren't you stumping up for your kids and your nephews/nieces?!

And why would dinner for the children be just six cones of chips?

tesuhoha

Living far away, I was just wondering how you got to find out what the other kids got for Christmas/birthdays. We used to have the same situation when our kids were young, living 50 miles away we used to visit on Boxing Day. I have no idea whether the closest family had better presents than ours but the time situation was similar. I drew the conclusion that they were just closer as they saw each other more. We were better off and were very generous.

Nowadays, one of the families is much better off than us but we still spend more money on them as a family, buying a small gift for the parents such as wine and chocolates. They don't ever bother to buy us a present and buy our grown kids something cheap as they always have. Their children are uni age and we usually give them money and are generous with it. I carry this on because I don't see the point of basing what we give them on what we receive from them.

gelbean

This happened in our family with me being one of the grandchildren from the family that was 'better off'. My mum and dad didn't say anything i don't think it would have done any good or made any difference. Our cousin was bought expensive presents, took to Disneyland etc. We figured out the situation pretty quickly and it just meant we weren't that close to our Grandma but were really grateful to our parents for everything they did for us. It also meant we weren't spoilt and ended up with good values which was the opposite of what happened to our cousins. I think looking back it did hurt my mum and dad but they just gritted their teeth! I really wouldn't worry or cause a fight - life is too short.

sassyblue

Dunroamin wrote: »

And why would dinner for the children be just six cones of chips?

They could have been really big cones?

A cone of chips for dinner at the seaside isn't going to hurt just the once.

scooby088

I was always told to be grateful for what I got, it's not the amount spent but thought that counts. For me OP your OH is being a upset for no reason.

embob74

At first I thought the seaside food incident sounded mean but then I thought your parents had invited the nieces and nephews and if their parents were not present they were responsible for them, your children were with their parents and so the grandparents were not responsible for them. If your siblings had been there perhaps your parents would have expected them to pay for their children's meals?
I don't think receiving gifts of differing value is necessarily an issue as sometimes I buy a present because I believe the recipient will love it, the value doesn't always come into the equation.
However if it was not an exaggeration that they bought a mobile phone and a second hand train then there seems to be little thought towards the lesser present and that is unforgivable.
I can completely understand your Mrs AO feeling aggrieved but if anything is to be said I believe it should be said by you so your family can hopefully take less offence.
Having been in a similar position with OH's siblings I chose to feel bitter on the inside. It helps knowing you can take the moral high ground even if you can't say anything!

embob74

scooby088 wrote: »

I was always told to be grateful for what I got, it's not the amount spent but thought that counts. For me OP your OH is being a upset for no reason.

I think it's the lack of thought with the presents that upsets OP's wife.

scooby088

embob74 wrote: »

I think it's the lack of thought with the presents that upsets OP's wife.

I can understand that but if the kids are happy why moan?

londonsurrey

scooby088 wrote: »

I can understand that but if the kids are happy why moan?

As an adult, I advocate firmly pointing out and avoiding further injustices to children in general, and especially to those in my care, regardless of whether the children notice.

Simply moaning implies a general vent to release unpleasant feelings, not necessarily directed at fixing the problem or injustice.