Grandparents Presents - Double Standards?

onlyroz

Do your children always thank granny graciously for any gifts received? Because a lack of thanks certainly contributed to our decision to stop buying birthday presents for our nieces.

Other than this, you can't make somebody buy you a present, and nobody should ever expect to receive a present off anybody. I think this sort of thing is better let go - if it bothers you enough then perhaps you should curb your generosity towards granny, e.g. by getting her a smaller Christmas present. If she comments then just say "oh, I thought we only gave small presents to each other".

Tiglath

Gottodothis wrote: »

My nan did this to us.

I still remember my sisters getting a brand new bike each and i got a coloured in colouring book.

My Crime.............I had dark hair and dark skin like my mother

My father's parents did this too - I'm the adopted child in the family. Eventually my parents told them they'd treat us all equally or not see any of us, and it did even out. Actually the grandparents did it a generation earlier with the older brother who got everything, and Dad who got practically nothing. That may have been what triggered Dad into making a stand.

claire21

Did you get treated differently to your sblings growing up?

I cant believe you dont even get a card signed by just your parents.

I would feel hurt for my kids, not about the money but not even making the time for them.

claire21

One other question, on xmas day do the parents go to xmas at your siblings house, your house or stay at home?

Gottodothis

Tiglath wrote: »

My father's parents did this too - I'm the adopted child in the family. Eventually my parents told them they'd treat us all equally or not see any of us, and it did even out. Actually the grandparents did it a generation earlier with the older brother who got everything, and Dad who got practically nothing. That may have been what triggered Dad into making a stand.

I too am adopting a child, none of my "family" will meet her. My sister met her once and told her daughter a little girl had come to visit .....not Your cousin has come to visit.

We did point this out later when the kids were not around

balletshoes

as Mr AO and Mrs AO are at odds here, I think its probably best that Mr AO leaves well alone, and unless Mrs AO has a strong relationship with her in-laws where she could ask why one set of grandkids get loads (money, time, attention) and another set doesn't, and she wouldn't be seen as an interfering "who-does-she-think-she-is" interloper, then I think Mrs AO better leave well alone too .

I agree more with your attitude Mr AO.

balletshoes

Alias_Omega wrote: »

Duchy,

I was away at the cash point reloading in funds. I mentioned this earlier in the thread. Sorry.

The Cafe was a pay-as-you-pick type of place, with a tray. Similar to Service Station style.



I don't get anything.
Sometimes i get a birthday card from all the family, all written in the same handwriting.

Isn't that normal? I sign most of the cards we send out from our household, and I sign for everyone, in my handwriting .

claire21

balletshoes wrote: »

Isn't that normal? I sign most of the cards we send out from our household, and I sign for everyone, in my handwriting .

I read it as he gets one card from his parents, his siblings and his nieces and nephews. Not a card from parents, and his siblings and their families. Its not one household.

bossymoo

I think it's a bit mean treating the children differently. But, as has been said, it's their money, their choice. I probably would say something, though. I would say I don't find it acceptable, and if money was the issue, I would even offer to buy the equal present myself and label it as from the grandparent. Just to show them up.

Luckily, my kiddies are the only two grandchildren on my inlaws, so nobody to compare against.

That said, we do have foster children in our extended family, and although I do get them some chocs or similar, it's not as much as I contribute to the pot for the "blood relatives kiddies" (for want of a better term)

POPPYOSCAR

claire21 wrote: »

I read it as he gets one card from his parents, his siblings and his nieces and nephews. Not a card from parents, and his siblings and their families. Its not one household.

Yes that is how it came across to me as well.