Grandparents Presents - Double Standards?

Alias_Omega

fluffnutter wrote: »

TBH, alias, if you're the success you say you are, why were you letting your mum buy anything at all? Why weren't you stumping up for your kids and your nephews/nieces?!

Fluff,

Whilst Mrs AO followed everyone into the Cafe, i was off to the local cash machine to replenish on funds.

When i returned, they were tucking into the meals and ours were not.

However, we led the way in the funding that you mention, by providing the funding for the arcade/funfair next door.

fluffnutter

Alias_Omega wrote: »

Were different, its all or nothing. Unless pre-arranged.


I ask, if your child had a friend around for the afternoon and you were making snacks.

Would you just make snacks for your children, or would you include the friend?

I guess the answer is similar here..

You'd make snacks for everyone. So I can't understand why you sat back and let your mum buy for just four of them only to then feel resentful about it. Why not say 'It's OK, mum, this one's on me' and buy for everyone?

I doubt your mum's doing it out of spite - she probably just feels that you don't need her help as you've got plenty of money. You opened your post with how successful you are, no doubt your parents think the same! You're hoisted by your own petard...

fluffnutter

Alias_Omega wrote: »

Fluff,

Whilst Mrs AO followed everyone into the Cafe, i was off to the local cash machine to replenish on funds.

When i returned, they were tucking into the meals and ours were not.

However, we led the way in the funding that you mention, by providing the funding for the arcade/funfair next door.

Fair dos. Ignore my next post then! Although I have mentioned what I think is going on; your mum doesn't think you need the money, hence she's saving her cash for those she does.

What would you rather be? The success you are, or in need of hand-outs from your parents? I know which I'd rather be.

Alias_Omega

fluffnutter wrote: »

Fair dos. Ignore my next post then! Although I have mentioned what I think is going on; your mum doesn't think you need the money, hence she's saving her cash for those she does.

What would you rather be? The success you are, or in need of hand-outs from your parents? I know which I'd rather be.

Mrs AO is saying that its not about handouts, its about treating the children different.

Not my beef Fluffy, it's Mrs AO's..

Sambucus_Nigra

Alias_Omega wrote: »

Not my beef Fluffy, it's Mrs AO's..

Why isn't it your beef? Do you not think that it's a tad unfair [the time, if not the money]?

Gottodothis

My nan did this to us.

I still remember my sisters getting a brand new bike each and i got a coloured in colouring book.

My Crime.............I had dark hair and dark skin like my mother

Alias_Omega

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Why isn't it your beef? Do you not think that it's a tad unfair [the time, if not the money]?

Mrs AO - She thinks its unfair. Mrs AO would like to highlight that we dont give the children everything, and the children are not spoilt. Also Mrs AO thinks that the children are hard done by, as we dont give them everything they want...aka the contents of the "Book of Dreams" Argos book.

Mr AO - Does not really care as he has seen the family fall apart over "Double Standard" cheap easter egg's. Mr AO understands that sometimes the other children get more in monetary value, but compared to what our children have ie...an unbroken home etc it does not matter. They dont see the difference as they are not at an age to realise, which they only time they would probably know was if they opened all the presents together on Christmas Day.

Time Wise? I do understand that if they are closer in distance, they will spend more time with those who are closer, but that comes with distance. Similar to we would spend more with the GP that are closer, than those further away.

POPPYOSCAR

Gottodothis wrote: »

My nan did this to us.

I still remember my sisters getting a brand new bike each and i got a coloured in colouring book.

My Crime.............I had dark hair and dark skin like my mother

Oh that is so horrible - I can only imagine how you felt.

fluffnutter

So isn't this really about your and Mrs AO's differing opinions on this, as opposed to whether or not to broach it with your parents?

That's the real issue, IMO.

FWIW, I think you're right.

POPPYOSCAR

Alias_Omega wrote: »

Mrs AO - She thinks its unfair. Mrs AO would like to highlight that we dont give the children everything, and the children are not spoilt. Also Mrs AO thinks that the children are hard done by, as we dont give them everything they want...aka the contents of the "Book of Dreams" Argos book.

Mr AO - Does not really care as he has seen the family fall apart over "Double Standard" cheap easter egg's. Mr AO understands that sometimes the other children get more in monetary value, but compared to what our children have ie...an unbroken home etc it does not matter. They dont see the difference as they are not at an age to realise, which they only time they would probably know was if they opened all the presents together on Christmas Day.

Time Wise? I do understand that if they are closer in distance, they will spend more time with those who are closer, but that comes with distance. Similar to we would spend more with the GP that are closer, than those further away.

Do you think they might notice when they get older and if so do you think they will understand or might feel that their grandparents care more about the others?