Grandparents Presents - Double Standards?

Alias_Omega

claire21 wrote: »

Did you get treated differently to your sblings growing up?

I cant believe you dont even get a card signed by just your parents.

Hi Claire,

That's life. Not really bothered about cards. Prefer the text message. I find it funny that my nan always sends it the day before. I my nan.. :j

claire21 wrote: »

One other question, on xmas day do the parents go to xmas at your siblings house, your house or stay at home?

My family is pretty messed up. Many people do not talk to other people. We keep neutral and try to visit/talk to everyone.

As we live over 150mile away, we rarely travel to my parents house for Christmas. Though, my siblings do travel over as live less than 3 mile away.

The advantage of living so far away, is that i can buy the presents on Boxing Day in true MSE style..

balletshoes wrote: »

Isn't that normal? I sign most of the cards we send out from our household, and I sign for everyone, in my handwriting .

No, i would either they all pre-signed the cards, or sent it via moon-pig.

The best ones are from the nieces (i have no nephews) which have been created at school... :T. They last for years on the noticeboard.

Alias_Omega

Well, thats it for tonight.

Mrs AO has gone to bed, early start tomorrow.

However, i am around for a bit.

Amanda65

Tbh it sounds as though there is very little love lost between you and your family - quite possibly with reason. You seem to not visit very much, have little time for your parents or siblings and it comes across as though you feel much 'better' than them. Perhaps the impression you have given is that you are doing so much better than them your parents feel there is no need to give you anything ?

thehappybutterfly

I've not the read the while thread but I voted for "just forget it and get on with your life". But then I'm very non-confrontational.

Perhaps your parents are simply buying what they've been asked to. You know, "do you have any suggestions for the kids' Xmas this year?" and greedy parents are asking for Blackberries rather than PJs or slippers. Perhaps your sibling/s have 'spent' the budget so there's nothing left to spend on yours?

ETA : not that I agree with it - your parents should be setting an equal limit per child but I still wouldn't raise the issue with them.

Alias_Omega

Hi Amanda,

The question was about giving equally to the children, not giving to us.

I feel that my parents give more to the others to compensate for the lack of income in there lives. Which i fully understand. Though Mrs AO things that the grand parents should give the same to each child, across the board.

Alias_Omega

thehappybutterfly wrote: »

I've not the read the while thread but I voted for "just forget it and get on with your life". But then I'm very non-confrontational.

You've not missed much.

I'm with you, i did feel like writing a message via email to my parents about the issue, but Mrs AO said she will have it out with them next it happens.

balletshoes

Alias_Omega wrote: »

You've not missed much.

I'm with you, i did feel like writing a message via email to my parents about the issue, but Mrs AO said she will have it out with them next it happens.

oh dear - so you might be seeing even less of your parents from then on then?

bylromarha

I'm with Mrs AO.

We have a similar situation - however, we're the ones who have less money than OHs sibling, we just moan about it less.

I really don't care about the less money presents for my kids, I care about the fact that when we do the 4 hour round trip to see grandparents (they rarely come up to us -they used to be constantly invited but we've given up), my kids get attention until the other grandchild appears and my kids then get little attention as it's all given to the other child who she sees at least twice a week.

She used to make lots of effort with our kids by ringing and visiting more often, but that pretty much ceased the day the other grandchild was born.

And when we do see her, it really isn't the right time to bring it up, we see her so rarely it doesn't seem worth it. OH sees it too, but is less bothered by it than I am, and doesn't want to spoil the time we do spend with her.

But it really winds me up - grandparents treating grandchildren differently to such a marked extent that the grandchildren notice is, IMHO, unforgivable.

Amanda65

Alias_Omega wrote: »

Hi Amanda,

The question was about giving equally to the children, not giving to us.

I feel that my parents give more to the others to compensate for the lack of income in there lives. Which i fully understand. Though Mrs AO things that the grand parents should give the same to each child, across the board.

The 'you' referred to your family as a whole. I am one who thinks that grandparents should treat their grandchildren equally but if they see the others regularly, due to locality, know their likes and dislikes and spend more time with them and you give the impression that you are doing very well (which it sounds as though you are) and your children do not have much of a relationship with your parents you can possibly see why the situation has occurred. I'm not saying it's right, just how it could come across to them.

thehappybutterfly

Mr AO, what do you think will happen if Mrs AO says something? Does she generally get on with your olds? Will this make things worse or are they likely to ignore her, roll their eyes and carry on as normal? Or will they be mortified and suitably ashamed?