Wanted a girl, devastated it's a boy...

Dunroamin

Thank heaven I'm an only child - if she were my sister I'd give a good slap, pregnant or not!

meritaten

she could have a dozen pregnancies - and all would be boys! its down to her OH! I have done our family history and only one person out of five boys (and six girls) went on to have all boys!

Aimless

Twice I have started out thinking I was having a girl and had a boy! First time it was just a vague idea, the second time I had different symptoms, and the timing suggested a girl was more likely. I'm glad I found out at the scans, as after a brief 'oh, a boy then' moment, I could get on with things. I wouldn't have liked to think they were girls until they arrived, as I'd rather get any mixed feelings out of the way well in advance.

Actually, though a girl would've been nice too, I'm rather pleased with another boy. I know where I am with boys. And it's lovely to see all my boys together, even if it does leave me as the only girl!

Chaos_Monkey

I'm firmly in the ''you get what you're given'' camp, and honestly can't imagine being disappointed either way. I can imagine pros and cons of either sex, TBH! I'm 24wks pregnant now, and we didn't get told at the scan. For a reaction such as the OPs SIL, I'd also be inclined to think it's something more deep rooted than being disappointed about the gender, and she should get some sort of help. And her DH ought to pull his finger out and get her the help, and not be sticking his head in the sand (assuming he is, of course).

As an aside, I am curious to find out how/what a baby should be referred to/as - we can't say 'he' or 'she' because we simply don't know. So as far as I can see, that leaves 'it', but I've read a few responses on here suggesting that's simply horrid. We do have a nickname that we use, but sometimes 'it' fits better. So, what to do??

Fire_Fox

Suggest she has the baby adopted right from the hospital, plenty of people desperate for a boy.

purple.sarah

OP, your SIL's reaction is not healthy, it sounds like she could be suffering from depression during pregnancy.

jellyhead

meritaten wrote: »

she could have a dozen pregnancies - and all would be boys! its down to her OH! I have done our family history and only one person out of five boys (and six girls) went on to have all boys!

I don't know. I ovulate immediately after my period, so I think it's probably down to me ... it means I'm unlikely to have a girl, I think?

jellyhead

Indeed - I wouldn't wish a miscarriage on anyone.

It sounds as if OP's SIL is ill, and that's no more her fault than getting PND would be.

fawd1

I have to say there seem to be a lot of unsympathetic people here. I understand peoples frustration who are struggling to conceive but it's not fair to say she's selfish or stupid. Belittling anyones emotions does no one any good, and it's easy to forget that there is always someone in a worse position than you. If we all lived our lives on the basis that someone else has it worse so we can't be upset or grieve because it's not valid, then there wouldn't be many of us allowed to feel anything.
In my experience, I was thrilled to bits when my first was a boy, but actually, yes I was disappointed when my second was a boy as well. I wanted a daughter, simple as that. No it wasn't reasonable, and I knew I was very fortunate, so I wasn't heartbroken. But yes, I was upset. I'd imagined having a little girl to play dress up with, and to take shopping for dresses when they're growing up. The reality is, you can spend so long imagining what your future will look like that it almost becomes real for you. The sudden loss of that future (her imagined one) can be very upsetting.

DianneB

I had never heard of gender disappointment before! must tell my no.4 son about it!! He is now 24 and I think I can feel it coming on!!