Wanted a girl, devastated it's a boy...

Molly41

barbarawright wrote: »

I have three elder brothers so my mother was probably quite pleased to get a daughter. Unfortunately for her she got a tomboy who stayed a tomboy - I've never worn make-up, hate shopping and haven't worn a dress since 1978 :rotfl:

Same here - three brothers and DD was and still is a tom boy:T

boyer

I think all of you having a go at the Woman in question are being completely unfair. Gender disappointment is common, even though still a taboo. It's her body and life after all.

Saying that resentment for such a long period of time will not be healthy for her or her child so the OP needs to be sympathetic and non judgemental, unlike many of the commentators on here.

Zekko

She should be happy!

Aren't boys supposed to be easier to bring up?... especially in those teenage years... :rotfl:

Erinnire

aliasojo wrote: »

I can't. Not at all.

It's a serious character flaw to automatically make that jump to attack without even trying to see the bigger picture and understand if there is anything 'wrong' or not that may cause a person to feel as they do.

Yet again MSE brings out the nasty side of some.

I despair every time I see a ' I felt this so you should feel it too' or a ' I hate what you're doing so I'm going to tell you you're an evil despicable cow' type of post.

I agree, I actually think it's disgusting some of the replies on this thread. It's not OP's SILs fault that some of you can't have/ are struggling to have children.

It's an illness, she needs lot of care and support right now. I can't imagine how awful she must feel about herself.

cheepskate_2

I thionk it is ok to want a boy or girl, we have preferences in everything

parsnipnose

sulkisu wrote: »

I am struggling to find ways to help my SIL, who has just found out that her second baby is another boy. To say that she is devastated is an understatement. She always wanted the 'perfect' family, two children, one boy and one girl. She had her son two years ago and just assumed that it would all go according to plan and her second child would be a girl. It isn't and she is very upset.

TBH I am finding it hard to sympathise. I spent many years dealing with the pain and heartache of infertility after suffering two bouts of cancer in my 20's. By some miracle, I conceived naturally at the age of 44, had a healthy baby boy and (having conceived naturally again at the age of 45) I am now expecting twins. Therefore I am firmly in the 'as long as it's healthy' camp. My raging pregnancy hormones probably aren't helping.

I can understandsome disappointment of course, but she is almost grieving. When she returned from her 20 week scan, I thought that something was wrong with the baby as she was crying so much. That was five weeks ago and she is still crying almost non-stop. She has no real interest in the pregnancy anymore, refers to the baby as 'it' or 'this thing' and I'm not sure what to do/say to help her. I have tried to get her to speak to her doctor but she won't. Her husband thinks that she will be fine once the baby is here, but I'm not so sure.

I just wondered if anyone else has felt this way when they discovered the sex of their baby, and if so, what (if anything) helped them to get over it.

Ungrateful b1tch sorry but she is. She should count herself lucky she can have kids

poet123

sassyblue wrote: »

But isn't that what we all do? How many times have we told ourselves 'it could be worse'....

This woman is having a healthy baby by the sounds of it and she should be grateful for it. That she isn't is worrying, if l were OP l'd tell her if she doesn't feel any better about it in a weeks time l'll be ringing the health visitor for advice for her because, yes it can be ante natal depression.

She maybe should be grateful for it, but it seems that currently, for whatever reason she is not. My point was that calling her selfish from the perspective of a childless woman is not really fair. Others will always have something we desperately crave, that they do not value it as we believe we would is not a fair comparison. Life is not fair.

lilmisskitkat

pawsies wrote: »

Why does nobody want boys? It seems to be a theme in this thread

I do!!!

I'd have 10 of DS! I find my girls much harder work, especially DD2 - or Minnie the Minx as we call her

I admit i was slightly disappointed when the scan showed we were expecting a girl with DD2, i had wanted and expected to have another boy but like many others it was only a twinge of disappointment and i love her to bits and wouldn't change her for the world. I think most of it was that i didn't necessarily want another boy, i wanted DS again. When i was pregnant with him and up until he was 13m old (then he had his first fit, messed me up big time ) i was the happiest and most content i have ever/think i will ever be.

I am torn between opinions on the OP's sil - part of me thinks she should be grateful and happy to have a healthy baby as so many cannot but then part of me sympathises with her, it must be an awful way to feel

K xx

pawsies

lilmisskitkat wrote: »

I do!!!

I'd have 10 of DS! I find my girls much harder work, especially DD2 - or Minnie the Minx as we call her

I admit i was slightly disappointed when the scan showed we were expecting a girl with DD2, i had wanted and expected to have another boy but like many others it was only a twinge of disappointment and i love her to bits and wouldn't change her for the world. I think most of it was that i didn't necessarily want another boy, i wanted DS again. When i was pregnant with him and up until he was 13m old (then he had his first fit, messed me up big time ) i was the happiest and most content i have ever/think i will ever be.

I am torn between opinions on the OP's sil - part of me thinks she should be grateful and happy to have a healthy baby as so many cannot but then part of me sympathises with her, it must be an awful way to feel

K xx

I'm pretty sure girls must be more expensive in their teens with all of the chocolate buying, hot water bottle, movies and sanitary equipment

It's a sad fact I feel the need to point out that is a joke as I know how some people get on here

wik

I have 1 son - 18 and 2 girls 16 n 13

I knew I was having girls very soon after conception... due to following my mum in what i couldnt eat with girls!! chicken and chocolate being main things, as well as the slightest wiff of alcohol making me be instantly sick!!

I am happy with what i have, and love them equally, I do remember being in hospital the night before i had DD1 and being scared i wouldnt love her as much as DS...
24 hours later the midwives came and said you need to sleep and took her to the nursery!! I was just say there gazing at her!!
I then realise that you love each child for who they are... no 2 or 3 children are the same...
wik xx