Wanted a girl, devastated it's a boy...

cheepskate_2

"Either abortions are available to all, or they aren't available to anyone. You can't go around making exceptions based on moral judgement of what you deem acceptable or not."(quote)

Eugenics is a moral judgement.

Person_one

cheepskate wrote: »

Lol, I'm fine, I have plenty of female friends.I would spend my time with either sex, altho prefer my female friends to male as more in common.

There isn't a "reason" for my liking boy children . We have a mixed ratio of male/female relatives. I have sisters and brothers who i get on well with etc etc etc.

I have to say, it sounds like a very weird variant of misogyny. I'm glad you had your boys.

I would have been fine with you terminating a female foetus, better that than grow up with a mother who feels as you do about girls.

sulkisu

Thank you fo your replies.
I knew nothing about gender disappointment until now, so I have learned something new. I still find it hard to sympathise with her, but that's because I just don't get it, i.e. I can't imagine being unhappy about the sex of my baby, but that's me.

There is a lot of information on the internet. I showed it to OH, who in turn has printed off some of the easier to read articles and given them to his brother (it's OH's brothers' wife), along with a stiff talking to. His brother appears to be taking it more seriously coming from OH as opposed to me, and has said that he will speak to his wife's doctor/MW. I am going to take a big step backwards and leave him to deal with it, it is too draining for me at the moment. Other family members are also now aware that there is a problem so hopefully they will be able to offer support.

Once again, thank you for your replies.

cheepskate_2

Person_one wrote: »

I have to say, it sounds like a very weird variant of misogyny. I'm glad you had your boys.

I would have been fine with you terminating a female foetus, better that than grow up with a mother who feels as you do about girls.

Glad your not the O.P' or you would have been running her down to the abortion clinic, rather than come on for help,

O.P glad you have information about it, At least she has time to adjust and get used to having a different sex before baby is born.

purple.sarah

pawsies wrote: »

I've been watching this thread like a hawk and haven't seen anyone wish a painful miscarriage. However I could have skimmed past it, I presume it's deleted now anyway.

They did but it was deleted.

make_me_wise

When your SIL is crying to the point where it appears she is grieving is she talking about her feelings? Or are they all bottled up inside her still. I cant help but wonder if these feelings and the reaction she is having to finding out the sex of the baby are tormenting her terribly. Maybe she finds it impossible to face how she feels about the baby she is carrying. No-one wants to feel this way about their child. It does seem as if she is suffering from a deep set bout of depression. I would urge all those round her to show her lots of support and understanding, let her talk and know that she is being listened to. As hard as it may be to hear how she is referring to the baby, and to feel empathy for a situation so alien, it is the only way she is going to work her way through this.

A similar situation happened to a dear friend of mine. Only he was the dad and when the babies sex was discovered at the 20 week scan he was devestated he would not be having a son. Everyone around him just believed once the baby arrived he would be okay and fall in love with it but this didn't happen and in the end he walked away from his family. Terribly sad.

1886

I think your SIL is pathetic. She should be VERY grateful that firstly, she is able to have a child and secondly, that it is healthy.. I would be concerned that she may show some resentment for the child once it is born..

Will she go on to do a posh spice and have baby after baby until she has a girl?

pinkshoes

I think some people are very judgemental and shouldn't criticise unless it's something they've gone through themselves.

Calling her pathetic IS pathetic. Do you really think she CHOOSES to feel that way?!?!?! It's like saying someone chooses to be gay!


What she needs is counselling, not narrow-minded people giving her abuse!

sassyblue

pinkshoes wrote:

Do you really think she CHOOSES to feel that way?!?!?! It's like saying someone chooses to be gay!


What she needs is counselling, not narrow-minded people giving her abuse!

And how do you know she ISN'T choosing to feel that way? That she isn't genuinely devastated that she's carrying a boy? We only have the OPs story.

Someone's feelings (that they could change with help or medication) is absolutely nothing like the gay analogy you pointed out.

jellyhead

sassyblue wrote: »

And how do you know she ISN'T choosing to feel that way? That she isn't genuinely devastated that she's carrying a boy? We only have the OPs story.

Someone's feelings (that they could change with help or medication) is absolutely nothing like the gay analogy you pointed out.

I can't imagine anyone choosing to be so upset for so long?