Wanted a girl, devastated it's a boy...

janninew

Erinnire wrote: »

I agree, I actually think it's disgusting some of the replies on this thread. It's not OP's SILs fault that some of you can't have/ are struggling to have children.

It's an illness, she needs lot of care and support right now. I can't imagine how awful she must feel about herself.

I've found some of the replies quite disgraceful as well, in particular the one wishing the lady in question a 'painful miscarriage.' A truly despicable thing to wish on somebody who from the information we have is suffering from depression.

I'm a member on a couple of other forums and this one is by far the unfriendliest with some very nasty people (some lovely as well!) I often wonder if some poster talk to people in the same manner as they type on here.

Calling somebody a bit*h, told to grow the f**k up and wishing the death of their unborn child is deplorable in my honest opinion.

Person_one

cheepskate wrote: »

With the 1st one, everyone was sympathetic, oh it will be a boy... You will love it even if its a girl. I knew it would be a boy but worried so much

With 2nd one again i desperately wanted a boy, but this time people would say oh its a girl we can tell by your shape, hahaha it will be funny if its a girl etc etc. I think i was upset for most of my pregnancy wailed to my DH that it was going to be a girl, who couldn't understand what the fuss was about.and didnt allow DH to have the snip until he was born ,just in case.

I have never wanted a girl, i wanted a large family ALL boys
Even now if a friend has a girl, i will coo and give it a cuddle....quickly dumping it back down. On the otherhand if it is a boy, I have them up and on my knee in a jiffy.

I have never looked at a little girl baby or toddler/older child and wished i had one, well only once but she was more boy than the boys. There is just nothing there for the girls

I have to ask, how do you feel towards adult women?

pawsies

janninew wrote: »

I've found some of the replies quite disgraceful as well, in particular the one wishing the lady in question a 'painful miscarriage.' A truly despicable thing to wish on somebody who from the information we have is suffering from depression.

I'm a member on a couple of other forums and this one is by far the unfriendliest with some very nasty people (some lovely as well!) I often wonder if some poster talk to people in the same manner as they type on here.

Calling somebody a bit*h, told to grow the f**k up and wishing the death of their unborn child is deplorable in my honest opinion.

I've been watching this thread like a hawk and haven't seen anyone wish a painful miscarriage. However I could have skimmed past it, I presume it's deleted now anyway.

gocurlygirl

I have concerns that your S I L is suffering from depression-like others I feel that her health professionals should be made aware.
A friend of mine badly wanted a girl and said it took her weeks to get over the fact he was a boy,but now he is the apple of her eye(along with his older brother).
Good luck to both of you ,children are all precious.

*max*

cheepskate wrote: »

Here we go....I'm going to jump in with both feet and hands over my ears.

with both my boys, I had huge stresses on whether they would be a boy.
With the 1st one, everyone was sympathetic, oh it will be a boy... You will love it even if its a girl. I knew it would be a boy but worried so much

With 2nd one again i desperately wanted a boy, but this time people would say oh its a girl we can tell by your shape, hahaha it will be funny if its a girl etc etc. I think i was upset for most of my pregnancy wailed to my DH that it was going to be a girl, who couldn't understand what the fuss was about.and didnt allow DH to have the snip until he was born ,just in case.

Even tho you have this desire for a boy/girl, in the back of your mind you still pray for it to be a healthy baby............boy, in my case.

I have never wanted a girl, i wanted a large family ALL boys
Even now if a friend has a girl, i will coo and give it a cuddle....quickly dumping it back down. On the otherhand if it is a boy, I have them up and on my knee in a jiffy.

I have never looked at a little girl baby or toddler/older child and wished i had one, well only once but she was more boy than the boys. There is just nothing there for the girls

Yeah it may be selfish and yeah we should wish for a healthy baby, but we all (ok there are some people who dont based on experience) assume out baby will be healthy, We dont visualize our baby being born with 1 arm etc,

Would I have treated a girl differently, hhhmmm, I would like to say no, that I would love it as much when I looked down into its little face, but if i'm truly honest I don't think so.

Nothing the health visitor , parents , hubby said made any difference to me, be it whether they sympathized or got angry.

In all honest the doc will probably do nothing as its so uncommon(to be so single minded) i think their view is You will love it once it is here, it was with my Doc and H.V.

But once baby is born if she doesn't change then I would advice careful monitoring of it and a trip to docs or Health visitor

Note.It is nothing to do with personality as i like boisterous boys boys and also normal more girly boys.

This is probably the scariest thing I have ever read on here.

PS: What exactly are "normal more girly boys"?

cheepskate_2

Person_one wrote: »

I have to ask, how do you feel towards adult women?

Lol, I'm fine, I have plenty of female friends.I would spend my time with either sex, altho prefer my female friends to male as more in common.

There isn't a "reason" for my liking boy children . We have a mixed ratio of male/female relatives. I have sisters and brothers who i get on well with etc etc etc.

cheepskate_2

I suppose we all think different things are "scary" depending on our experiences . I find it scary that people think 4 or 5 abortions are acceptable , but then again you find this ok. -

*max*

cheepskate wrote: »

This is my view, from someone that went through it. Its easy to say, !!!!!, should be happy to have a child at all etc but that doesn't help the O.P

I suppose we all think different things are "scary" depending on our experiences . I find it scary that people think 4 or 5 abortions are acceptable , but then again you find this ok. -

I am pro choice, yes, if the woman doesn't want A child. And I'm definitely not in the "you should be grateful to have a child at all" camp here. I do believe it's a massive thing for them, and they should get help.

However, I don't find talking about your very much wanted unborn child as an "it" acceptable just because it's a girl. It's bordering on eugenics. Your post sounded exceptionally scary, yes. Very scary. What would you have done if you hadn't been "lucky" enough to have boys? Urgh.

cheepskate_2

*max* wrote: »

Well if i was in your camp....then I would have got rid of it , but that would have been acceptable as "pro choice" and all that

*max*

cheepskate wrote: »

Well if i was in your camp....then I would have got rid of it , but that would have been acceptable as "pro choice" and all that

Being pro choice isn't about choosing the sex of the fetus. That's eugenics. You've completely lost the plot here.