Living together - financial arguments

jaimeo

it sounds like you know what you are doing!

let him move in but set those strict groundrules and get the legal doc.

get the £150 a week, make sure there is no way he can take any of your property...tell him you'll review the doc in a couple of years or something.

you've obviously had a hard time getting what you have today. Any decent man should respect that, even to the point of getting legal docs drawn up. Sadly, with both your prior relationships the luxury of rose tinted spectacles is one you dont have.

Follow your head...its lead you right so far.

Queenie

Good luck in making your decision.

Please may I just add a couple of thoughts?

1) His wine consumption - bad for pocket, detrimental to health - from experience I can tell you that it will also have a profound affect on his moods. Do please consider the consequences if you persue with your first choice.

2) The real "man" in your life who deserves your time, care, thought and any financial bonus' from your accrued house value is .... your 7yo son!

Best of luck in which ever direction you take. ((hugs))

trafalgar_2

meanycath wrote:

thanks for all the replies, you have said things which were, deep down, my gut feelings.

I am either going to suggest that he moves in and the cost is £150 per week and I am now so spooked by all this that I am seriously considering getting a legal document drawn up saying that if we split, he is entitled to nothing. (I have already spoken to a solicitor to find out my rights).

Or... I might tell him that we cannot live together, and we shall continue as we are.

Or... maybe I should tell him to !!!!!! off completely!

To be fair to him, he is good around the house, he is now doing most of the gardening, always clears up after dinner and occasionally cooks dinner. He has also babysat for 8 weeks in the evening 1 night a week while I have done a college course (on assertiveness!). Initially he was a slob but I have made it clear what I expect and he is now doing that.

You should just get rid in my opinion because the fact that you are dealing with all this and even made the comment

Or... maybe I should tell him to !!!!!! off completely!

says to me it isn't as good as it should be ...........................move on and you'll find someone you won't have all these arguments with.............a dog can be good around the house:rotfl:


give yourself a chance to get head over heals with a man who can give you more ...............or at least meet you half way.;)

Bennifred

Meanycath, it looks to me as though your BF is trying to take advantage of you (if he isn't already!). Relationships are supposed to be give and take, and that doesn't mean you doing all the giving and him doing all the taking. From the few things you have said about what he does "for you", it does sound very minimal. Whilst you have doubts (and you obviously do, or you wouldn't have posted), I wouldn't let him move in. I can see how it benefits him, but not you, and you have a lot to lose. Even if he were to pay the £150, you would be no better off financially than you are now, and would possibly be stuck with someone who sounds like a bit of a bully, to be honest!
Good luck, whatever you decide.

rchddap1

Whatever you decide make sure that you take your time. This is a big decision and you have the right to take as long as you need to decide what is best for both yourself and your son. However, do not let him push you into making a quick decision. If he truely loves you then he should be happy to give you as much time as you need...be that a few days, months or even years.

System

Meanycath, i have pm'd you.

meanycath

Hi,

Sorry, I'm a bit new to all this. What does pmed you mean?

Thanks.

meanycath

Hi Queenie,

You mention about his wine consumption. Don't get me wrong, I don't think an odd glass of wine is a problem and is something that I enjoy too, but I didn't mention that he also drinks 20 bottles of beer in a week (he pays for these!).

This is approx half the alcohol consumption of when I first met him!

trafalgar_2

meanycath wrote:

Hi,

Sorry, I'm a bit new to all this. What does pmed you mean?

Thanks.

private message,it's just under your name at the top right of the page where it says ........welcome ***

Al_Mac

Call me an old romantice.

Why the heck did money become an issue. He lives with you half the time. Just try living together and see where it goes from there. If you stick together and chose to buy another home, not property, together, then you need to agree who owns or pays for what.
:beer: Miserable old man that I am.