My daughter has been detained :( .........UPDATE!

wolfehouse

if you have a carers centre near you get in touch with them asap
the one by me sees lots of parents with disabled kids of all sorts as well as people who care for adults, and can give loads of practical help, advice and training.

kelpie35

teabag29 wrote: »

But can I do that Daska, can i actually refuse to take her home without support, I am her mum after all and have a responsibility. Wouldn't I be liable for neglect if I did that? and if so wouldnt that jeopordise the position of my other children

Yes you can do that. If they do not offer you the support you require and need you now have the power to make them do what was needed a long time ago.

If you need more support you are welcome to PM me as I have had experience of dealing with a similar problem.

Don't forget you have done your very best for your DD and now is the time for you and the other children to have some quality time.

Take care x

meritaten

teabag - your daughter needs all the help she can get - and if they try to release her before you feel she is ready then yes you must refuse to take her. Don't worry, no one will come and arrest you! you really do need an advocate who will accompany you and help you. It is wrong and sad that those parents who shout loudest and raise concerns with official bodies are the parents whose kids actually get the help - while dealing with NHS/Officialdom it does NOT pay to be too nice!

teabag29

Thanks for all the good advice, who can I use as an advocate though?

kendalls_cave

I'm sorry I haven't read the whole tread, but these people might help you

http://www.youngminds.org.uk/

daska

teabag29 wrote: »

Thanks for all the good advice, who can I use as an advocate though?

Try the the Children's Society, the NSPCC, your local CAB, Parent Partnership, Family Information Service? Are there any support groups for ODD? You may not get advocacy directly from these but they may know which way to point you. Google for local advocacy organisations, they may be able to re-direct you to an appropriate service.

And use us. If you feel as if you're going to waver then come on here and ask us to help you stand firm.

meritaten

I find this difficult to advise as I am in Wales and our organisations are different. but, I would think on Mental health issues MIND would point you in the right direction.

teabag29

Dear lord..... Went onto town this morning to get a few bits and when i got back at 12 my phone was ringing, it was DD, apparently she had rang 49 times. She had me on loud speaker with her new friend in the background, first she was asking me to bring some sleeping tablets in, then she was telling me how she was going to escape through the fire escape then she told me she'd ordered the dr to let her home as she is now ready (apparently he said we would discuss a overnight release tomorrow at the review meeting....over my dead body)....then I was a f***ing b***h and all other names she could think of because I refused to sneak her sweets in. She said she's coming home whether I like it or not and she'll walk out if she has to. Thing is she has only seen 1 dr since she's been in there and he was only with her a short time and asked her about school and apparently told her he has faith in her that she is strong enough to get through it....other than that she has had no therapy or help of any sort, if anything her behaviour is worse. I rang the office who assured me she wouldnt be allowed to keep ringing me with abuse and they'd supervise her calls and limit them to 2 per day...... as soon as I put the phone down she rang me again swearing and ranting....then again....then again until I rang the office back! I'm so scared they are going to suggest an overnight stay after tomorrows meeting....nothing has changed and she isnt at that level yet and im certainly not ready either when clearly her behaviour is still very bad. I know im going to feeled pressured tomorrow, especially as the new social worker will be there too

londonsurrey

Record the calls, and the times.

Although it's stressful for her to threaten to walk out, it actually could solve a few problems for you. At the moment, she's probably classified as in there "voluntarily". If she attempts to force her way out, ironically, she'll then be held there involuntarily and her status changed.

Similarly, the worse her behaviour at the doctor, the better. No point in all the bad stuff happening to you, try to get the doctor to view it, as it will help in getting the help you want.

Keeping_Motivated

Log everything and if possible record the calls so you have evidence of her behaving one way to the doctor and another to you.