My daughter has been detained :( .........UPDATE!

teabag29

For those of you who remember my posts about my daughter (she has pda which is on autistic spectrum, spd, dyslexia and significant learning difficulties functioning at half her age) things have got a whole lot worse. She was turned down for a statement, school has gotten much worse for her and she has become highly anxious.
Last week she was bullied and called fat (shes a tot n smallest in her class n certainly not fat) so for past 10 days shes starved herself and over weekend shes tried to take her life multiple times, after 3 AnE admissions and 3 mental health assessments and both her and I having no sleep since friday, the camhs workesr today decided shes a risk to herself and have admitted her to a mental health childrens institute for assessment, if she didnt comply she would've been sectioned (she made clear she intends to keep trying until successful).

They have no idea how long she will be there, they say it could be anything from days to months. Hardest thing to do was to leave her there, feel rubbish, at the same time i dont think i had the strength to cope another night as she was trying everything to harm herself (ran into a car, tablet overdose, tried to jump out window, kinife herself and even barricaded herself in bedroom and smashed the lightbulb to cut herself with the glass), i tried all i could to keep her safe but looking after 3 smaller children at same time.

I havent slept in days but cant even face it, feel such a failure

POPPYOSCAR

So sorry to read this.

I have not read your posts before and this is easy for me to say but do not feel rubbish, not everything is within our control, even with our own children.

She is getting help and that is the priority.

I really hope she gets the help she obviously needs and that you have someone to support you through this.

teabag29

Not really no, husband and i split up a month ago (largely down to the stress of it all we began to argue), my mum has serious health problems and dont know anyone in the area. Got my children though and going to see dd tomorrow, just so worried about her, she doesnt get on well with other kids and gets very anxious and she has to share a room with another girl. She's all alone

daska

You are not a failure. You've fought hard for her to get the help she needs. A failure wouldn't have bothered with doing that.

Hard as it might be I would suggest that the best thing you could possibly do for your children and yourself is use the time she spends in the unit as time to get yourself as well as possible and spoil those other kids of yours rotten with the time and fun and games that can't be had when their sibling's around.

And if that means a few nights using a couple of stiff drinks or tablets to help you sleep etc then so be it.

(((((HUGS)))))

londonsurrey

There is a stigma associated with being in hospital for a mental health problem, but logically, there shouldn't be.

If you think about it, having listed all the things she's tried, it's the best place for her to be, and if we were in a country where we had to pay for healthcare, we'd be trying to raise funds for her to get into such a place.

After all, if she had a physical ailment that required hospitalisation, although you'd be sick with worry about her anyhow, you'd want her to be in hospital, wouldn't you?

Here's wishing you and yours the best possible outcome.

topsyturphy

Hi

Didnt want to read and run. Big (((Hugs))) to you. You are not a failure, just a mum who cares about her dd. I hope that she gets the help she needs. Make sure you try and get some rest whilst your dd is safe. My son has adhd and dyslexia, but I can manage him better now, my other children are older so he is like an only child and I can therefore give him my time. It sounds like your dd has more complex needs and I definately feel drained at times, so I cant even begin to know how you cope. Take Care and make sure you look after yourself too.

POPPYOSCAR

teabag29 wrote: »

Not really no, husband and i split up a month ago (largely down to the stress of it all we began to argue), my mum has serious health problems and dont know anyone in the area. Got my children though and going to see dd tomorrow, just so worried about her, she doesnt get on well with other kids and gets very anxious and she has to share a room with another girl. She's all alone

You have to try to stop worrying about her. The health professionals will know how to help her adjust.

Who knows she might make friends with the other girl, especially if they have a lot in common.

You may have split up from your husband but he does need to take some of the strain and help you - is that possible?

duchy

You haven't failed her but it sounds like the system has.

This may open a lot of doors to getting the help she needs and was denied.

Hang on in there <hug>

meritaten

teabag - You are not a failure! do you mind if I PM you as what I want to say I dont want to say on a public forum?

oopsadaisydoddle

I don't have any experience of what you are going through. I just wanted to send big hugs to you and your family. I really do hope you get all of the help you deserve.

You sound like a wonderful mum, by the way. Certainly not a failure.xx

teabag29

Thanks ladies. Meritaten thts fine thankyou. Just worried about her all alone, what if she needs me, she doesnt cope well with strangers she gets very anxious. I hope they can help her