My daughter has been detained :( .........UPDATE!

Corelli

Your daughter has been through a hell of a lot and it sounds like she needed help a while back. You did as well. Ridiculous that she has been denied a statement. She is in the right place now, it will be challenging but my experience of these places is that young people with all sorts of problems go in unable to cope with all sorts of issues and benefit enormously.

My son spent 10 months in a childrens' mental health unit last year. It was hard for him and hard for us, but we did feel very supported as a family. Mostly, there was one issue personal to us as a family that really hurt but I see how the issue arose.

If the unit your daughter is in is as good as the one where my boy was, there will be excellent staff there who will be able to support her and the other young people will be supportive too. Relationships will be subtly encouraged and supported by the staff.

You must have been through hell before it got to this stage, I really feel for you.

If you want to talk via pm I am here for you, I don't want to go into more details in public but do understand a bit of what you have been through and where you are now.

*max*

You certainly are not a failure, and you have to stop thinking that right now.

You are going through something extremely difficult, nevermind everything else also happening, and you are coping. This in itself is no small feat, and more than a lot of people could do.

Your daughter is in the best place for now, with professionals who can take care of her needs at this difficult time. You have to think of yourself now, and give yourself a break. I wish I could give you a big hug. xxx

julie03

you havent failed, you have fought so hard to get your daughter the help she needed and the authorities and school has failed her

with the problems she is facing at the moment she is in the right place, and i hope you can get some support now.

Believe in yourself , you havent failed

tattycath

(((hugs))) You're not a failure, she's in the best place to get the help she needs at the moment. (((hugs)))

System

Just to echo what has already been said you are not in any way a failure, please don't think that. As heartbreaking as it is to see a loved one suffer she is in the best place for her right now, and hopefully will get the help she needs.

Millie2008_2

I'm so sorry that you are going through this, but I promise you, as an ex-patient and having worked in such units, she is in the safest place right now, as MessedUp said.

I hope that she settles soon and doesn't feel so lonely. In my experience, children in such places all feel quite vulnerable and I have seen many a friendship blossom between kindred spirits in such units. I hope she makes some friends very soon.

In the meantime, please try to get some rest, you must be very tired

Big hugs xx

esmf73

Tea bag,

Having a son with PDA who has talked about killing himself when he got expelled, I was panicking, but fortunately it was another avoidance technique. So sorry that yours is real. Nothing I can really say except to offer my support, plus to say that try and use the time that she is detained to recharge your batteries and make any changes necessary to the house for when she does come home.

Feel free to pm me. Where are you? Am in N yorks. There is a PDA group on Facebook. Xx

marisco_2

Sending you a huge hug, you are not a failure at all. I cant begin to imagine what you must be going through right now. You have helped your daughter as much as you could. You are still helping her because you have made sure she is in the care of people who will keep her safe and work with her so as she can return to you as soon as possible. Not that you weren't doing all that, but it sounds as if she was determined to do herself harm and there would naturally be times when you could not devote 100% attention to her, due to having other children to care for. It would have been doing no good at all to your other children to witness what was going on. Something you are clearly well aware of.

Whilst you are busy caring and worrying over all those you love, please make sure there is someone there for you too. I wish you all the best and hope things settle down soon.

kj*daisy

I remember your other posts and wanted to add to the people emphasising you are not the failure here, you have done what you can to help her and have been let down by those who should have helped. Try and get some rest now and send the other kids off with your ex oh so you can properly recharge your batteries and be in the best place to help your dd. I hope it's is the start of your DD and you getting the help you need, take care
.

peachyprice

Ach, teabag, sorry to hear it's come to this.

But perhaps try to see the positive in the whole sorry saga. At least now she's in the right place to receive the correct treatment she needs, no parent can do the best for their child if no-one will listen, now they will have to.

You haven't failed your daughter, you tried and tried and tried and did the best you could, the system has failed her, and you, by not hearing you.

Enjoy this short respite with your other children, regain your strength, and take comfort from the fact that now she will get the treatment she needs.

((((((())))))