My daughter has been detained :( .........UPDATE!

londonsurrey

teabag29 wrote: »

Hi guys thanks for your support, feeling a bit better today after speaking to her on the phone. My only worry now is that they will release her too soon as she seems to be enjoying it there and not at all low, apparently she will be there a week and then there will be a meeting to see if they feel she is not a risk to herself, thing is she isnt gonna appear as a risk in there because she is happy and not being bullied or given any demands (she has pathalogical demand avoidance syndrome). The way camhs were speaking is she is in there short term (a week) to calm herself down and not feeling like killing herself anymore, but im concerned she needs alot deeper help or she will be exactly the same when she comes out and that work cant be done in just 1 week.

You're right, they do try to minimise the amount of time in there. If they try to release her, take advice on how to refuse and be unavailable for her to go home - don't be pacified by promises of the Home Care team, as it's just someone who visits once or twice a day, and will monitor medication, and talk about thinking good thoughts, eating well and taking long walks - it's not therapy.

Insist on her getting proper therapy and psychiatric help first, reiterating that she's only that calm in the protected environment they provide, and she's different at home, and you can't provide that.

puddy

totally agree with this, make it clear to them that the evidence shows that she needs a secure therapeutic environment in order to be safe, because thats where she is now and she is safe, she was not safe in the family environment.

i know that its been hard for you to experience this but it really is what she needs, her behaviour has been deteriorating to dangerous levels for a while, putting her and your whole family at risk

meritaten

some very good advice teabag - if you feel by the time the week is up that she is really not going to cope at home then yes, its time to develop a crisis at home which makes it unsuitable for her to return. it sounds awful, but, you are the one who knows her best and you are best placed to judge her frame of mind and how she reacts to different situations. for this YOU need to be calm and rested and thinking clearly! I am glad your mind was put at rest by the phone call - now concentrate on yourself and the other family members so that when DD DOES return home there will be calm, relaxing fun atmosphere there for her to walk into!

teabag29

hi guys, just thought i'd update. Been to see daughter a few times and shes gone from being completely hyper (1st visit) to annoyed (latest visit). She isnt sleeping and she says the nurse will be sorting out some medication for that, they did mention melatonin to me on Tuesday. She is craving sweets badly but i refuse to bring her any in, dr's say she does have an eating disorder whereby she binge eats. I had a call from them today saying the first review meeting is this wednesday, they have 1 each week and its where everyone involved in her care (inc me) meets to discuss the following weeks care and any progress made. I have finally got a social worker and they are going to do some immediate work with her when she gets out, its called an intensive support package and is 12 weeks long so hopefully that will help although they are still telling me i cant have any respite care as i dont meet the criteria due to limited funding. Still worried about when she gets out as her main problem (school)will still be there.....she also opened up to me on Wednesday and told me shes been trying to harm herslef for a while now behind my back . I have informed the dr's. Thanks for all the support on here, really helps

londonsurrey

Thank you for the update. It can be quite boring on the wards, and restrictive in terms of just getting everyday stuff when one is used to simply raiding a fridge for a snack.

Can you take some fruit in for her? A £1 bag of whatever from the market, and she can share it.

teabag29

shes getting lots of friout and snacks there and 3 proper meals (2 with hot puddings). Im gonna speak to the nurses today as yesterday she disclosed to me thats shes resorted to making drinks of cordial but with hardly any water in so thats its very sweet and strong!

marisco_2

Is anyone from the school, ideally the Senco, going to be attending these weekly meetings? Seeing as school is where some of her biggest anxieties and problems stem round, it might be very beneficial if the Senco were there to hear the view points of all those involved with your daughters care. They may then be better placed to fully understand her needs and help her.

teabag29

ARGHHHH I AM SO ANGRY!!! my brother who has a drink problem and mental health issues of his own (on anti-d's and very recently tried to overdose) went to see dd today and took her to his house ......... nobody phoned me to check who he was or if I was ok with him taking her out. He had her for 2 hrs before I found out and to top it off he has undone any progress thats been made regarding her binge eating...he's fed her a load of sweets and sent her back with 2 bag fulls. I cannot believe it, its supposed to be a secure unit, they have never even met him before let alone got permission off me. I can almost guarantee he will have pressured and bullied her into making her discharge herself, telling her how much worry she is putting on the family n how she needs to sort herself out (he has always been like this). I have told 3 separate mental health workers that she is not to be taken out and that family are unsupportive and have their own issues and she would not benefit to be around them so why has this been allowed to happen, im furious. I have rang to complain and have had an apology but that really isnt good enough. On top of that dd has informed me thats shes craving sugar so much she has been making her own cordial and putting no water in it, drinking it neat. Again this shouldnt be happening, she is meant to be under 24 hr watch.

Her behaviour spiralled out of control lastnight, she tells me the 2 girls she has to share with were picking on her and she refused to share that room with them and so nurses shouted at her and removed her, hurting her arm in the process. The nurses tell me it was her behaviour that forced them to remove her and they did so safely after she refused to listen to their demands.....either way I have explained that she has a condition called pda and direct demands will bring out her anxiety and poor behaviour and there are ways to stop this, they have a 36 page report to go off that seemingly they havent even read yet and she still hasn@t seen a doctor.

Im beginning to think she was better off here, i thought she was safe and being cared for in there but seemingly not. I am going in tonight to make a formal complaint in writing and apparently an incident form has been made about them letting my brother take her which will be put infront of the dr tomorrow.

Was having a good day until all this happened, actually managed to sleep lastnight and today have took the other kids up town and spoiled them then came home to make cakes and spend quality time together. Why is it everytime I think things can't get any worse, they do!

jamespir

i dont think you failed her but i do think that she can be helped where she is

esmf73

Complain to the various state bodies - ie general medical council. Nurses - whoever they are called and whoever is in charge of social workers. Get your MP involved, the director of the local health care trust and as many people as you can. Thank god it was only sweets she was fed,although I realise your frustration. It could have been drugs and worse.

You have my love, sympathy and anger at this happening to you and her xxx. Where are you in the country? Feel free to pm me - my 8 yr old also has PDA so I can empathise xxx