Just found out my son is experimenting with other boys

Fire_Fox

Troubled_mum wrote: »

But that is what I am trying to say, life is very tough no matter what your orientation, this just makes it a little tougher because of the prejudice.

I am not worried that my husband will be angry but he will be upset initially like me and I think that is what is upsetting me because I am having to keep it all to myself and I haven't got anybody to talk with about it. Which is why I came on here and boy for the most part it was a massive mistake.

The majority of people who have replied ( not all) have twisted everything I have said and made me out to be a complete !!!!!.

Once again I love my son no matter what but nobody can come on here after first finding out what I did and say it made them overjoyed to find out the information.

Nobody has twisted anything, YOU used the same language over and over again and it was very revealing. "I would never have thought this of him" is used when someone has done something disreputable, immoral, disappointing or the like. You have not use the word worried once in reference to being gay or bisexual, the only time you used that word was in post 54 in reference to your son's DRINKING. Instead you say you are traumatised and feel sick, these are not words of concern.

Are most parents 'overjoyed' when they find out their child is straight? Only the homophobic ones.

faerie~spangles

Troubled_mum wrote: »

Yes but before reading this there was nothing to suggest he was leaning towards boys that is all I was trying to say.

Not all gay men are camp queens, they're just normal blokes who prefer men.

I'd rather my lad told me he was gay at 18 than have him tell me he was going to be a dad tbh.

Bitsy_Beans

Troubled_mum wrote: »

Again you are misreading me, when I had the recall I was in a Tate of shock, I had been so nervous about the mammogram and it was a breeze, i was telling everyone there is nothing to be frightened of. However, when I got the letter I was so frightened and was sick with fear, luckily it was all fine.

At the moment I feel traumatised, I only found out yesterday and I am still in a state of shock but hey I am getting over it because the majority of you have totally hacked me off. I came on here for someone to talk to, the majority of you have slated me for just being a concerned mother. Talk about prejudice, you are the prejudiced ones, I am upset and I may not have articulated my feelings very well but all I wanted was someone to talk to, I hoped that maybe someone who had gone thorough a similar experience may come on and talk to me but all I got was for the most part a load of trolls and by that I mean nasty vicious people.

Sorry I read this and in my head I had Family Fortunes and picking the word "bullies" as top answer :rotfl: that normally gets trotted out when people don't agree with an OP

You're traumatised? Really? It's sex, not something like murder, wife beating, drug dealing, underage inappropriate sex with minors.

Sorry I am generally sympathetic and try to see things from other peoples POV but I really cannot fathom how your reaction is so disproportionate to the events.

1940sGal

Troubled_mum wrote: »

Again you are misreading me, when I had the recall I was in a Tate of shock, I had been so nervous about the mammogram and it was a breeze, i was telling everyone there is nothing to be frightened of. However, when I got the letter I was so frightened and was sick with fear, luckily it was all fine.

At the moment I feel traumatised, I only found out yesterday and I am still in a state of shock but hey I am getting over it because the majority of you have totally hacked me off. I came on here for someone to talk to, the majority of you have slated me for just being a concerned mother. Talk about prejudice, you are the prejudiced ones, I am upset and I may not have articulated my feelings very well but all I wanted was someone to talk to, I hoped that maybe someone who had gone thorough a similar experience may come on and talk to me but all I got was for the most part a load of trolls and by that I mean nasty vicious people.

You came on here for advice and you've got it. The majority of people have told you you're over-reacting. Doesn't that in itself tell you something? He's 18. Experimenting with his sexuality is perfectly normal and is nothing new.

The fact that you're 'traumatised' over it is beyond ridiculous. I see that no one here has been vicious or nasty.

Fire_Fox

NewKittenHelp wrote: »

The Gays. You're lowering the bar and raising the curve. How are we supposed to continue the stereotype that we're all successful overachievers if we allow you to stay?

You are gay?! :eek: _pale_ :shocked:








Did you like my smilie selection?

1940sGal

OP - could you answer me this one question please. If you are not homophobic, what PRECISELY is it about your son's 'experiments' that have left you 'traumatised'?

[Deleted User]

Think of the gay couple in Desperate Housewives , the majority of gay guys I know would be like the camp one, my son would be the other one, I would never have guessed. So when I say gay tendancies, that is what I mean not every gay guy is camp I know but you do associate campness with being gay.

Would I choose a gay lifestyle for my son, absolutely not, I don't know any mother that would, however will it change the way I feel about him, again absolutely not. I will always love him and his happiness is all that matters. I have tried to think today why I am so upset and the conclusion I came to was not whether I was bothered about him being gay but because it is a big secret that I have to keep to myself at the moment. Also lets not forget he is still also going with girls at these parties so he may be just confused or bi-sexual. I also don't think it has gone any further than serious heavy petting, I think he is still a virgin although I am not 100 % sure he hasn't had sex with a girl.

esmy

OP, re read your posts and consider the language you used about your feelings about this news (and I'm yet to be convinced it's anything other than mates taking the !!!! out of each other) - maybe you'll see why you have got the responses you have.

Many 18 year olds drink a lot; many have the 'pressure' of A levels and university; many experiment sexually and in other ways. Some commit crimes; some deal in drugs; some are parents themselves; some suffer major illness and disability. Is this really the worst thing that you could have to deal with?

Person_one

NewKittenHelp wrote: »

I don't care.

Perpetuating the '!!!!!y' stereotype nicely there.

Bitsy_Beans

Troubled_mum wrote: »

Think of the gay couple in Desperate Housewives , the majority of gay guys I know would be like the camp one, my son would be the other one, I would never have guessed. So when I say gay tendancies, that is what I mean not every gay guy is camp I know but you do associate campness with being gay.

Would I choose a gay lifestyle for my son, absolutely not, I don't know any mother that would, however will it change the way I feel about him, again absolutely not. I will always love him and his happiness is all that matters. I have tried to think today why I am so upset and the conclusion I came to was not whether I was bothered about him being gay but because it is a big secret that I have to keep to myself at the moment. Also lets not forget he is still also going with girls at these parties so he may be just confused or bi-sexual. I also don't think it has gone any further than serious heavy petting, I think he is still a virgin although I am not 100 % sure he hasn't had sex with a girl.

Just what exactly is so bad about the "gay lifestyle"? Bear in mind the drinking, fights etc I saw on nights out with heterosexual males.

I have a friend who is settled, married to his partner, successful. Just like any other couple, gay, straight or bi.