Just found out my son is experimenting with other boys

robpw2

Troubled_mum wrote: »

Firstly I am not homophobic, I am upset because it was such a shock. I am also upset because I know his father will be devastated. Mainly because as I said it is a tough world out there and this could make it tougher. This will make no difference to how I feel about him or how his father feels about him, we love him very much.

There is nothing about him to suggest he is gay apart from him being fastidious about showering etc and my understanding was he was getting off with lots of girls (which he has).

I can't discuss it with him because I looked on his Facebook when he left it open and I know it was reprehensible and it has certainly come back to bite me on the bum. This may well be just a phase and if not he will tell me in his own good time. He knows we are not homophobic and have several friends who are gay.

I came on here with a new name because I post quite a lot and my kids no my user name. I really did not expect to be attacked. Just put yourself in my shoes for a minute, I have not eaten for two days and cannot sleep. Whichever way he decides to go will be fine with me, I just want him to be happy that is all but the initial shock was big.

Now you have gone and annoyed me and i was begginging to feel for you but your comments about there was nothing to suggest he was gay apart from his showering habits really taking the biscuit

1. if he is gay its because he likes men....
2. not all gays are into musicals are really camp and mince around
3, it doesnt matter if he is gay bi or indifferent the point it life is tough for everyone and its attiudes like yours that make it difficult
4. if your not as you claim homophobic why are you not eating or sleeping ... if you found out your son was experimenting with girls i suspect you wouldnt have the same reaction


You have a problem and you can tell me till your blue in the face that your accepting of gay people and you have gay friends but your actions speak louder then your empty words .

robpw2

Swan wrote: »

I have a big strong handsome ASD 25 year old & know exactly how you feel

people with asd can and do have relationships :);)

robpw2

Troubled_mum wrote: »

Thank you, you have said exactly what I was trying to say badly. I too also think that the world is a more accepting place but prejudice is still out there. I don't care if my son ends up with a man or a woman as long as he is happy but at the moment I don't think he is. He has a lot of pressure at the moment with A levels and Uni coming up.

I do know quite a few gay people and love them dearly, the only point I was making about the showering is that he hasn't ever exhibited any gay tendancies.

if he is experimneting with boys ... that would be exhibiting gay tendancies ...

[Deleted User]

Bitsy_Beans wrote: »

Life can be difficult for lots of different reasons, straight people don't necessarily have it any easier.

I have to say what your posting as highlighted by Firefox is giving me the impression that actually you do disapprove. Lets be honest if you'd found out he was experimenting just with girls would you have even started a thread?

I do wonder if you're more worried about your husbands reaction

But that is what I am trying to say, life is very tough no matter what your orientation, this just makes it a little tougher because of the prejudice.

I am not worried that my husband will be angry but he will be upset initially like me and I think that is what is upsetting me because I am having to keep it all to myself and I haven't got anybody to talk with about it. Which is why I came on here and boy for the most part it was a massive mistake.

The majority of people who have replied ( not all) have twisted everything I have said and made me out to be a complete !!!!!.

Once again I love my son no matter what but nobody can come on here after first finding out what I did and say it made them overjoyed to find out the information.

robpw2

stclair wrote: »

Gays know to drink I can tell you that... A gay fridge normally consists of vodka :-)

i have no idea which gays your hanging around with but the ones i know contain ... cider .lager . or pimms .
as well as foods , milk and the usual products people put in the fridge

Person_one

robpw2 wrote: »

i have no idea which gays your hanging around with but the ones i know contain ... cider .lager . or pimms .
as well as foods , milk and the usual products people put in the fridge

Vodka goes in the freezer, anyway. Please tell the gays!

robpw2

Troubled_mum wrote: »

But that is what I am trying to say, life is very tough no matter what your orientation, this just makes it a little tougher because of the prejudice.

I am not worried that my husband will be angry but he will be upset initially like me and I think that is what is upsetting me because I am having to keep it all to myself and I haven't got anybody to talk with about it. Which is why I came on here and boy for the most part it was a massive mistake.

The majority of people who have replied ( not all) have twisted everything I have said and made me out to be a complete !!!!!.

Once again I love my son no matter what but nobody can come on here after first finding out what I did and say it made them overjoyed to find out the information.

Ok
tell your husband seriously it will be better to broach the subject with him then to keep it bottled up
I also suggest you contact a local lgbt charity to seek advice on how to help your son and to deal with your feelings but also to support him because whilst your finding things really tough, he is going to be really struggling, he probably is gay and he probably doesnt want to admit it to himself yet.
There are a number of groups out there who will help him come to terms with it and also help you come to terms with it .

[Deleted User]

robpw2 wrote: »

if he is experimneting with boys ... that would be exhibiting gay tendancies ...

Yes but before reading this there was nothing to suggest he was leaning towards boys that is all I was trying to say.

robpw2

NewKittenHelp wrote: »

I'm petitioning to have you removed.

from where ??:A

robpw2

Troubled_mum wrote: »

Yes but before reading this there was nothing to suggest he was leaning towards boys that is all I was trying to say.

what suggestions are you talking about ?
what suggests someone is gay ?