Just found out my son is experimenting with other boys

NewKittenHelp

Person_one wrote: »

Yeah, by that reasoning I should be a straight man, probably working on an oil rig...

I thought you were. :eek:

stclair

Hes probably just a gayer nothing to worry about....

As long as hes happy that's all that counts...

Tropez

Troubled_mum wrote: »

I can't discuss it with him because I looked on his Facebook when he left it open

So your son posts on Facebook, to all his friends, about his sex life and drunken fumbles with other boys? Really? I don't think so...

If he did that would be a far greater concern to me than whether he was gay, bisexual, straight or into 1963 Volkswagen Beetles.

Poppie68

Own_My_Own wrote: »

Sorry, but when has being fastidious about showing been a a sign of you sexuality ?

I know, im starting to worry about my husband now.:eek:

balletshoes

Troubled_mum wrote: »

Firstly I am not homophobic, I am upset because it was such a shock. I am also upset because I know his father will be devastated. Mainly because as I said it is a tough world out there and this could make it tougher. This will make no difference to how I feel about him or how his father feels about him, we love him very much.

There is nothing about him to suggest he is gay apart from him being fastidious about showering etc and my understanding was he was getting off with lots of girls (which he has).

I can't discuss it with him because I looked on his Facebook when he left it open and I know it was reprehensible and it has certainly come back to bite me on the bum. This may well be just a phase and if not he will tell me in his own good time. He knows we are not homophobic and have several friends who are gay.

I came on here with a new name because I post quite a lot and my kids no my user name. I really did not expect to be attacked. Just put yourself in my shoes for a minute,
I have not eaten for two days and cannot sleep.
Whichever way he decides to go will be fine with me, I just want him to be happy that is all but the initial shock was big.

I can understand the initial shock if he's not being careful and he's being promiscuous.
But 2 days after you found out, you still can't eat or sleep? Why is this affecting you so badly if you're okay with your son's sexuality, whatever that may be?

NewKittenHelp

Tropez wrote: »

So your son posts on Facebook, to all his friends, about his sex life and drunken fumbles with other boys? Really? I don't think so...

If he did that would be a far greater concern to me than whether he was gay, bisexual, straight or into 1963 Volkswagen Beetles.

Really? I've seen (hell I've posted!) worse.

Saint_Chris

If it is a phase is it fair to tell my husband he will be devastated but only
because life is already tuff and this would just make it even harder.

Why would this make his life tuffer..........................?

meer53

Your son is 18. Leave him alone to be who he wants to be. Support him. How do you think he will feel if he finds out how you feel ? You're not doing him any favours here.

Why will your OH be devastated ? Why do you have to mention it to him ? It's your sons business, which you snooped on, keep it to yourself, it's not the end of the world.

[Deleted User]

lessonlearned wrote: »

Talk to your son.

Be open minded in your talks and let him know that whatever his orientation you love him. You do love him don't you???

Whether he is gay, bi-sexual or straight and just playing around for a while, this is not about you or your feelings - it's about him, his life, his emotions. He is 18 and free rto make his own choices.

Is this really such a shock to you - you are his mother after all -don't you know your own son.

Frankly you should have had these kind of talks years ago .A child should be able to talk freely and openly with his mother at least and not left to flounder like this.



Yes it can be difficult and a tad embarrassing - I have two sons so yes I can empathise with you on that score. Talking about sex with your children can be a bit daunting.

The one piece of advice I would give your son is the one I gave to my boys - always consider your safety - don't leap into bed with a stranger when you are drunk because you make yourself too vulnerable.

Girls never really came up because he was at a boys school, although once he got upset about never having the opportunity to have a girlfriend. He then joined a club which had girls and started socialising a lot more and had a girlfriend for a while. He then started partying quite a bit and we talked about him being careful etc. he got glandular fever and the doctor was joking with him about how many girls he had kissed and he told him lots. So no it never occurred to me that boys were in the picture and it seems it only happened this year. He himself has said he does not know what he is but it seemed to me that he didn't think he was full on gay but possibly bi.

Thank you for your answer. I will just have to bide my time, I guess he will tell me eventually.

NewKittenHelp

Troubled_mum wrote: »

Girls never really came up because he was at a boys school, although once he got upset about never having the opportunity to have a girlfriend. He then joined a club which had girls and started socialising a lot more and had a girlfriend for a while. He then started partying quite a bit and we talked about him being careful etc. he got glandular fever and the doctor was joking with him about how many girls he had kissed and he told him lots. So no it never occurred to me that boys were in the picture and it seems it only happened this year. He himself has said he does not know what he is but it seemed to me that he didn't think he was full on gay but possibly bi.

Thank you for your answer. I will just have to bide my time, I guess he will tell me eventually.

I really wish you hadn't used that phrase!:rotfl: