Just found out my son is experimenting with other boys

[Deleted User]

Firstly I am not homophobic, I am upset because it was such a shock. I am also upset because I know his father will be devastated. Mainly because as I said it is a tough world out there and this could make it tougher. This will make no difference to how I feel about him or how his father feels about him, we love him very much.

There is nothing about him to suggest he is gay apart from him being fastidious about showering etc and my understanding was he was getting off with lots of girls (which he has).

I can't discuss it with him because I looked on his Facebook when he left it open and I know it was reprehensible and it has certainly come back to bite me on the bum. This may well be just a phase and if not he will tell me in his own good time. He knows we are not homophobic and have several friends who are gay.

I came on here with a new name because I post quite a lot and my kids no my user name. I really did not expect to be attacked. Just put yourself in my shoes for a minute, I have not eaten for two days and cannot sleep. Whichever way he decides to go will be fine with me, I just want him to be happy that is all but the initial shock was big.

NewKittenHelp

Poppie68 wrote: »

I bet your mum knows all your secrets...we have eyes in the back of our heads, radars, spies the list is endless.

Mine once read my phone, she thought I didn't know. So I had my friend send me a text saying that she was pregnant and that it was probably mine but she couldn't be sure because she conceived the night that we'd all had a go. My mum's face was a picture when she stormed into the kitchen demanding to know what I'd been up to.

Mothers always forget - we learned our tricks from them, and we have a few of our own.;)

grass_is_greener

At 18, I think he is old enough to make decisions on his own sexual preference ... He will let you know when he is ready, until then you need to get on and read your fifty shades of grey instead of your sons texts/twitter/Facebook or whatever else you have been snooping in.

londonsurrey

I'd be very very concerned that he's being promiscuous with multiple partners, not the gender of his partners.

lessonlearned

Talk to your son.

Be open minded in your talks and let him know that whatever his orientation you love him. You do love him don't you???

Whether he is gay, bi-sexual or straight and just playing around for a while, this is not about you or your feelings - it's about him, his life, his emotions. He is 18 and free rto make his own choices.

Is this really such a shock to you - you are his mother after all -don't you know your own son.

Frankly you should have had these kind of talks years ago .A child should be able to talk freely and openly with his mother at least and not left to flounder like this.

Yes it can be difficult and a tad embarrassing - I have two sons so yes I can empathise with you on that score. Talking about sex with your children can be a bit daunting.

The one piece of advice I would give your son is the one I gave to my boys - always consider your safety - don't leap into bed with a stranger when you are drunk because you make yourself too vulnerable.

Own_My_Own

Sorry, but when has being fastidious about showing been a a sign of you sexuality ?

Person_one

Troubled_mum wrote: »

Firstly I am not homophobic, I am upset because it was such a shock. I am also upset because I know his father will be devastated. Mainly because as I said it is a tough world out there and this could make it tougher. This will make no difference to how I feel about him or how his father feels about him, we love him very much.

There is nothing about him to suggest he is gay apart from him being fastidious about showering etc and my understanding was he was getting off with lots of girls (which he has).

I can't discuss it with him because I looked on his Facebook when he left it open and I know it was reprehensible and it has certainly come back to bite me on the bum. This may well be just a phase and if not he will tell me in his own good time. He knows we are not homophobic and have several friends who are gay.

I came on here with a new name because I post quite a lot and my kids no my user name. I really did not expect to be attacked. Just put yourself in my shoes for a minute, I have not eaten for two days and cannot sleep. Whichever way he decides to go will be fine with me, I just want him to be happy that is all but the initial shock was big.

So you're not homophobic, but finding out that your son has been with other boys has left you upset, devastated, and unable to eat or sleep for two days?

Ok.

Poppie68

NewKittenHelp wrote: »

Mine once read my phone, she thought I didn't know. So I had my friend send me a text saying that she was pregnant and that it was probably mine but she couldn't be sure because she conceived the night that we'd all had a go. My mum's face was a picture when she stormed into the kitchen demanding to know what I'd been up to.

Mothers always forget - we learned our tricks from them, and we have a few of our own.;)

Cruel....but funny:rotfl:

Person_one

Own_My_Own wrote: »

Sorry, but when has being fastidious about showing been a a sign of you sexuality ?

Yeah, by that reasoning I should be a straight man, probably working on an oil rig...

This cracks me up, no signs? What were you expecting? Singing Judy Garland songs around the house and taking you shoe shopping?

foreign_correspondent

please think about the fact that if you are worried about your husbands reaction, that your son will be far more worried... I have worked with gay teenagers, and their parents opinion of them is one of the biggest worries they have...

Society is far more accepting now than it was even twenty years ago - but gay young people find their parents generations opinions a real worry - they do not want their mum and dad to dissaprove of who they are, and I bet he is terrified, worried sick that he will lose your approval and your love.. do not prove these fears right.