Husband Wants Nothing to do with Our 8 Day Old Baby

poet123

mikey72 wrote: »

You are very uncivil, is this normal for you?

No, but when pushed I can do it with the worst of them.

Person_one

Welshwoofs wrote: »

Apart from the pain (and I've also had flu and believe you me...there's no comparison. Flu was a walk in the bloody park),

It wasn't a walk in the park for the people I looked after who died from or were permanently damaged by H1N1.

You can't really appeal for understanding of one condition while showing such casual disregard for the suffering caused by another.

Errata

In my opinion the husband's behaviour toward his new born child, a child so ill it had to spend the first five days of its life in hospital whilst he was toddling off to work every day, is despicable. Those who say they have, or had ME, and defend his behaviour are simply defending the undefensible.

Welshwoofs

Person_one wrote: »

It wasn't a walk in the park for the people I looked after who died from or were permanently damaged by H1N1.

You can't really appeal for understanding of one condition while showing such casual disregard for the suffering caused by another.

When people compare ME to the flu they're not comparing it to the swine flu though are they....they're comparing it to good old, common or garden flu.

I'll also add, my partner had H1N1 and he's right as rain so it's not a morbid little shuffle to the grave for everyone.

Welshwoofs

Errata wrote: »

Those who say they have, or had ME, and defend his behaviour are simply defending the undefensible.

It actually sounds to me as though they should never have had a child in the first place. She's pointed out perceived deficiencies in his character that she noticed before the onset of ME...so why the desire to breed with him?

However she has and if his ME is serious she can count him out of parenting for a good while.

It's a big old case of '!!!!!! happens' so she either needs to stick with him and put up with what will undoubtedly be a fairly miserable life for a good while, or dump him and have a fairly miserable life on her own. Them's the options.

janninew

mikey72 wrote: »

You are very uncivil, is this normal for you?

I didn't read Poet's post as being uncivil! She is opinionated (nowt wrong with that!) and makes some good points in many threads that I've read.

Person_one

Welshwoofs wrote: »

When people compare ME to the flu they're not comparing it to the swine flu though are they....they're comparing it to good old, common or garden flu.

I'll also add, my partner had H1N1 and he's right as rain so it's not a morbid little shuffle to the grave for everyone.

Swine flu was just a slight variant of 'common or garden' flu that we weren't prepared for. The same number of vulnerable people would die of seasonal flu every year if we didn't have a vaccine.

As for your partner, well, there are people living with ME and functioning well, so by your logic does that mean there's no reason for the OP's husband to behave as he is?

sassyblue

daska wrote: »

If he was a selfish, moody git before he had ME then he's going to be a whole lot worse with it!

Stop blindly defending the ME and actually read what the OP has to say.

PinkPeach wrote: »

Thanks for your replies.

His ME diagnosis was made only a few months ago, so after we'd had the IVF treatment. I'd never have gone through with it had I known this would happen and as he was so enthusiastic about having a child, I had no reason to think he wouldn't cope

Welshwoofs

Person_one wrote: »

Swine flu was just a slight variant of 'common or garden' flu that we weren't prepared for. The same number of vulnerable people would die of seasonal flu every year if we didn't have a vaccine.

Yes, I know that. But again, when people compare ME with flu...they aren't thinking Swine Flu (as you well know because you're not thick), they're comparing it with the 'normal' flu that most people know...a bout where you get a week of extremely high temperature, sweats, bone shaking tremers etc.

As for your partner, well, there are people living with ME and functioning well, so by your logic does that mean there's no reason for the OP's husband to behave as he is?

Yes there are people living with ME and functioning well. I'm one of them....because I have it managed.

I said in my first post that the indications are this guy is an a-rse, despite ME....so again, why breed with him???? Why expect him to change just because he's a Father?

It's done...it's dusted. As I said - there are two options, live with him and his attitude and ME or go it alone. Both are fairly miserable. Sh-1t happens.

Person_one

sassyblue wrote: »

Stop blindly defending the ME and actually read what the OP has to say.

You've got to love MSE sometimes.

Where else can you turn to for help when your husband tells you he wants you and your week old baby gone and be told how much you're in the wrong?