Husband Wants Nothing to do with Our 8 Day Old Baby

poet123

mikey72 wrote: »

Are you suggesting the op does that?
If so, I don't think it's a good solution to her problem.

Does what? Get on with it? As far as I can see that is exactly what she is doing but without any physical or emotional support from her husband.

daska

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Having a long term illness is no excuse for behaving appallingly to one person above all others. Or displaying aggression where a baby is concerned.

You will find people with cancer, with depression, with fibromyalgia, with bipolar, with CFS/ME, arthritis and liver failure secondary to alcoholism. The vast majority do not and never would dream of being such a pig to a new mum, any more than someone who isn't unwell would be.

To say 'aww, the poor love, he can't help it, you must be neglecting now you've abandoned him for the baby' is insulting to the OP and to the millions of people across the country, both ill and healthy, who wouldn't dream of throwing a paddy because the newborn baby dared make a peep.



Are all the people claiming to be misunderstood on this thread regarding their condition saying that they get angry at newborn babies? That they have threatened to abandon them? Or have they actually been reasonable human beings who have said they have problems, pain, tiredness, but that it's their problem, not their partner's or their child who has only been home 72 hours at most?


Just because someone is unwell, it doesn't absolve them of responsibility for their own behaviour. Unless, of course, they have psychosis, but that tends to be noticed. Because it isn't just throwing their teddies out of the pram because their replacement mother figure has a new baby.

I did.


And I left. Or on a few occasions was removed from the house for my own good


And then I went back when I'd had sufficient rest that the world started making sense again.


And I repeated the above several times, often being completely unaware of what was happening until I woke up and found I was at my parents.

mikey72

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Having a long term illness is no excuse for behaving appallingly to one person above all others. Or displaying aggression where a baby is concerned.

You will find people with cancer, with depression, with fibromyalgia, with bipolar, with CFS/ME, arthritis and liver failure secondary to alcoholism. The vast majority do not and never would dream of being such a pig to a new mum, any more than someone who isn't unwell would be.

To say 'aww, the poor love, he can't help it, you must be neglecting now you've abandoned him for the baby' is insulting to the OP and to the millions of people across the country, both ill and healthy, who wouldn't dream of throwing a paddy because the newborn baby dared make a peep.



Are all the people claiming to be misunderstood on this thread regarding their condition saying that they get angry at newborn babies? That they have threatened to abandon them? Or have they actually been reasonable human beings who have said they have problems, pain, tiredness, but that it's their problem, not their partner's or their child who has only been home 72 hours at most?


Just because someone is unwell, it doesn't absolve them of responsibility for their own behaviour. Unless, of course, they have psychosis, but that tends to be noticed. Because it isn't just throwing their teddies out of the pram because their replacement mother figure has a new baby.

I am afraid you display an appallng ignorance of mental health issues, particuarly with regard to ME.
I take it you simply refuse to believe in the symptoms if they relate to mental rather than physical health?

janninew

Knowing several people with ME quite well I can fully understand his exhaustion and the shock of a newborn, but what he said to his wife who has just had their baby is inexcusable. If he can't hold his tongue/control his temper, he should leave the room and take some time out. I feel for the OP so much, having a baby should be such a happy time and I can't imagine how I would feel if my husband had spoken like her husband speaks to her, especially a week after giving birth.

Person_one

daska wrote: »

Having had both 'flu and meningitis I'd volunteer for another bout of if it meant the ME would go away.

Is it helpful to the OP to turn the thread into a 'Which illness is worse' competition?

daska

mikey72 wrote: »

I am afraid you display an appallng ignorance of mental health issues, particuarly with regard to ME.
I take it you simply refuse to believe in the symptoms?

Except that ME isn't a mental illness, it just affects it. It often brings on severe depression - as do many long term illnesses for that matter.

daska

Person_one wrote: »

Is it helpful to the OP to turn the thread into a 'Which illness is worse' competition?

That wasn't my intention, someone argued that flu was serious, and by implication that ME isn't, I disagree and felt it was worth correcting her assumption.

Person_one

mikey72 wrote: »

I am afraid you display an appallng ignorance of mental health issues, particuarly with regard to ME.
I take it you simply refuse to believe in the symptoms?

Did you even read her post?

Valli

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Having a long term illness is no excuse for behaving appallingly to one person above all others. Or displaying aggression where a baby is concerned.



Just because someone is unwell, it doesn't absolve them of responsibility for their own behaviour. Unless, of course, they have psychosis, but that tends to be noticed. Because it isn't just throwing their teddies out of the pram because their replacement mother figure has a new baby.

This. He has responsibilities. Babies cry.

Person_one

daska wrote: »

That wasn't my intention, someone argued that flu was serious, and by implication that ME isn't, I disagree and felt it was worth correcting her assumption.

I didn't read it that way, seemed like she was just saying they are both serious but in different ways.