Husband Wants Nothing to do with Our 8 Day Old Baby

Nicki

Person_one wrote: »

You aren't compelled to make cruel remarks though?

Google emotional lability - one of the key symptoms of ME. This is exactly what it is. Also suffered sometimes by those with Alzheimer's and strokes.

likelyfran

Quite honestly I think OP's husband is being a *****rd.
You can be suffering from a chronic illness (I know from experience,have M.E. myself) and still have some consideration for the person you're living with and who you have an affect on.
Not to mention a person who has just given birth and has to cope with an 8 day old baby!
Sorry but men/people like this need a kick up the jaxxy to make them realise all that they are taking for granted. If wife and baby were to disappear from his life, I bet he'd soon change his attitude.
I know it's nigh on impossible for the OP to effect this in her situation though.

mikey72

We have a friend with ME.

After reading some of the snap diagnoses on here, I can really only offer one comment.

If any of you said to her, she should get out of her wheelchair, or stop taking the constant pain killers, or woke her up when she had fallen asleep in the middle of the day, because she couldn't sleep at night, compalined she was snappy because she hasn't slept more than an hour at a time for a week, complained she couldn't remember anything for the same reason, told her to make her own supper, you'd be leaving a lot faster than you came.

(And if my wife's mother ever said that to my wife if she had it, she wouldn't even be stopping to get her false teeth from the cup by the bed)

ME is like flu, ha, she'd trade you flu anyday.

Nicki

mikey72 wrote: »

ME is like flu, ha, she'd trade you flu anyday.

it was me who made the comparison to having bad flu but not in a way intended to be offensive. Nor meant in the sense of a bad cold but proper can't get out of bed to pick up a £100 note flu.

I actually have no idea how it feels to suffer from ME but I do know it can be debilitating and that it is one of those illnesses which the uninformed like to look down on. So was just trying to come up with some comparison which people might identify with.

OP's husband is still able to work so clearly not as badly affected as your friend however. Which doesn't mean I don't have sympathy for him (and OP) which I hope has come across from what I have posted. Don't want to have to leave my false teeth behind in my rush to run from your wrath

mikey72

(my bold)
The predominant symptom of ME/CFS is usually

severe fatigue and malaise
Muscle symptoms
pain/myalgia

Brain and Central Nervous System symptoms include cognitive dysfunction (problems with short-term memory, concentration and maintaining attention),
clumsiness,
disequilibrium
word finding

sleep disturbances (often increased requirements at the onset followed by an inability to maintain a full night’s sleep),
alcohol intolerance (a very characteristic feature, particularly in the early period of illness)
irritable bowel symptomatology.
emotional lability or mood swings
features of clinical depression

Long version

http://www.meassociation.org.uk/?page_id=1685

some posters need to read it.

mikey72

Nicki wrote: »

it was me who made the comparison to having bad flu but not in a way intended to be offensive. Nor meant in the sense of a bad cold but proper can't get out of bed to pick up a £100 note flu.

I actually have no idea how it feels to suffer from ME but I do know it can be debilitating and that it is one of those illnesses which the uninformed like to look down on. So was just trying to come up with some comparison which people might identify with.

OP's husband is still able to work so clearly not as badly affected as your friend however. Which doesn't mean I don't have sympathy for him (and OP) which I hope has come across from what I have posted. Don't want to have to leave my false teeth behind in my rush to run from your wrath

I can easily recognise the emotional issues coupled to the change in sleep pattern, and the change in routine.

Our friend also worked in the early stages. What you have to look forward to is a bit hard to cope with as well as the present symptoms.

mikey72

likelyfran wrote: »

............ If wife and baby were to disappear from his life, I bet he'd soon change his attitude.
I know it's nigh on impossible for the OP to effect this in her situation though.

I always think this is an over the top, but the first reaction on this board at times.
However, in this case I reckon he wouldn't mind.

Errata

The OP says her OH has a history if being moody and wanting all the attention, that he wants nothing to do with the baby, that he's perfectly capable of working and does.
Doesn't look like there's very much wrong with him that a bit of self control and responsibility can't put right.

GracieP

mikey72 wrote: »

ME is like flu, ha, she'd trade you flu anyday.

The flu, real flu not a bad cold that most people claim is flu, is a very serious illness with all sorts of complications which can be fatal more often than you would think.

mikey72

GracieP wrote: »

The flu, real flu not a bad cold that most people claim is flu, is a very serious illness with all sorts of complications which can be fatal more often than you would think.

And she'd trade you anyday.