DH wants to split bills now.

balletshoes

MrsNorthman wrote: »

Well it all doesn't matter now as we are seperating as soon as I can find somewhere for me and the kids.

have you spoken to your OH a bit more since your original post?

MrsNorthman

Yes he's returned from his trip.

I've just had enough, tbh I shouldn't have come on here either.

I can't get him to leave as he will take the house from my sister and I cant do that to her.

MrsNorthman

January20 wrote: »

Which is it?

I would love to comment and try and help, but....

I'm sorry I thought I had explained that that's why he doesnt do that job anymore. I obviously hadn't.

balletshoes

I do agree with another poster - Sundays tend to be the days that emotions/situations come to a head. Maybe take a breather, step back, don't do or say anything today that you might change your mind about. Think about it tomorrow, when you're all back in the normal midweek routine. You might feel exactly the same way tomorrow, and ready to take action.

pearl123

OP - did not present the whole picture in her original post. She stated Husband "wanted to split the bills" but made no mention of the large debts till later.

If she'd said originally that there was such large debts then we might
not have thought that the husband was being so so unreasonable!

In light of the £70 pressy to a 5 year old it seems that the spending is rather out of control. Therefore, the hubby suggestion of 50/50 is begining to seem quite reasonable as they both need to take joint responsibility.

Hubby does not seem quite so unreasonable to me anymore now that extra things have come to light.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

MrsNorthman wrote: »

Yes he's returned from his trip.

I've just had enough, tbh I shouldn't have come on here either.

I can't get him to leave as he will take the house from my sister and I cant do that to her.

HE CAN'T.


The law prevents this. She has rights that he CANNOT change.



Anyway, what's to stop him doing that anyway, just to pay you back for leaving?


Check with the solicitor you are going to see without his knowledge - explain these threats and see what they say.

MrsNorthman

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

HE CAN'T.


The law prevents this. She has rights that he CANNOT change.



Anyway, what's to stop him doing that anyway, just to pay you back for leaving?


Check with the solicitor you are going to see without his knowledge - explain these threats and see what they say.

She hasn't signed the tenancy agreement yet as we are still waiting for the previous tenant to leave. Dh is very pally with his boss and if he said let me live there instead he would.

marisco_2

I wish you luck with however you decide to proceed OP. My advice for what it is worth is dont make any rash decisions, financial or otherwise. You will save yourself alot of heartache and emotional strain in the long run if you can rationally think through what to do next. Talk things out as thoroughly as you can, if you do decide the only way forward is to be apart, by doing this it helps with the moving on process.

MrsNorthman

pearl123 wrote: »

OP - did not present the whole picture in her original post. She stated Husband "wanted to split the bills" but made no mention of the large debts till later.

If she'd said originally that there was such large debts then we might
not have thought that the husband was being so so unreasonable!

In light of the £70 pressy to a 5 year old it seems that the spending is rather out of control. Therefore, the hubby suggestion of 50/50 is begining to seem quite reasonable as they both need to take joint responsibility.

Hubby does not seem quite so unreasonable to me anymore now that extra things have come to light.

I would like to make it clear husband has no concerns about the debt, hes always rathered putting it off to have spare cash.
His comment of removing access to his account was a reaction to me calling him selfish for going away again.
I'm a little fed up of being put in a bad light today.

daska

MrsNorthman wrote: »

She hasn't signed the tenancy agreement yet as we are still waiting for the previous tenant to leave. Dh is very pally with his boss and if he said let me live there instead he would.

In which case your sister could move in temporarily with you! Don't know about anyone else but I've shared with my sister, including sleeping in the same bed when there was no other option. Kids in one room, women in another, any adult(ish) males in the living room. There, sorted, tell him to put it in his pipe and smoke it.

He is abusive and controlling and he is blackmailing you. Call his bluff.

Go see the solicitor on Monday to sort out the house. Put in a call to the CSA and tax credits, put your husbands stuff in black sacks and tell him he's not welcome.

Do you own the house or is it rented. If the former then you can't stop him coming in legally but the chances are he won't even try to come back if your sister is there.