General lack of respect for eachother

Alikay

I think there have ALWAYS been badly behaved people around, but maybe nowadays we see more of it on those documentary-type things that show drunken louts (of both genders, and all social classes) making complete a*seholes of themselves of a Saturday night in Nottingham/Faliraki/Glasgow or wherever. Plus the revolting low-lifes up the duff with their bisexual-alcoholic-daughters-boyfriend's baby on Trisha or Jeremy Kyle show??!!

It might be unpleasant, but is it new? My OAP mum said she had a friend who 50+ years ago, used to have too many port-and-lemons and throw herself at men and be sick in taxi-cabs!!

Luckily most people prefer to maintain their dignity and stop a fair way short of the OTT antics that the media project as normal.

nickyhutch

snowmaid wrote: »

If you think it offensive that I have suggested that a woman doesn't, FOR EXAMPLE, roll around drunk or swear like a trooper, then I do apologise.

I just wonder why you only say it's not on for a woman to do it, and not any person, male or female. When you say a woman shouldn't do it, it sort of implies it's ok for a man to. Personally, I think, if they're not harming anyone else, it's up to them how drunk they get. I'd be a hypocrite to suggest otherwise.

snowmaid

Alikay wrote: »

I think there have ALWAYS been badly behaved people around, but maybe nowadays we see more of it on those documentary-type things that show drunken louts (of both genders, and all social classes) making complete a*seholes of themselves of a Saturday night in Nottingham/Faliraki/Glasgow or wherever. Plus the revolting low-lifes up the duff with their bisexual-alcoholic-daughters-boyfriend's baby on Trisha or Jeremy Kyle show??!!

It might be unpleasant, but is it new? My OAP mum said she had a friend who 50+ years ago, used to have too many port-and-lemons and throw herself at men and be sick in taxi-cabs!!

Luckily most people prefer to maintain their dignity and stop a fair way short of the OTT antics that the media project as normal.

Oh I am sure it has always been around, most definitely. It's possible that people think they now have a 'right' and therefore it's more common now.
Where before, because it was totally unacceptable behaviour, many people thought first before acting in such a manner, whereas these days not many people think first, or care, which is sad.

snowmaid

nickyhutch wrote: »

I just wonder why you only say it's not on for a woman to do it, and not any person, male or female. When you say a woman shouldn't do it, it sort of implies it's ok for a man to. Personally, I think, if they're not harming anyone else, it's up to them how drunk they get. I'd be a hypocrite to suggest otherwise.

I think its disgusting to see any person rolling around drunk. I can't understand the point??

You hear people on the trains on their mobiles...'Gawd, I was so drunk last night, *giggle*, I threw up *hiccup*, and so and so made out with so and so...*slurp*, I can't remember what happened but so and so told me'....

If they are standing next to you, one can still smell the stale booze on their breath, while they try and keep their eyes open because they only got home at 4am.

Sure go out, have a drink or 2, have a fun filled, good evening, but keep your dignity and self respect.

What is the point of getting drunk if you can't remember your 'fun' evening or you were too busy throwing up?!?!? :rolleyes:

Timmne

How old are you if you don't mind?

Just I was listening to my grandma talking about a very similar thing the other day - she's 84.

My GF and I used to get into fights at the restaurant, almost wrestling over ownership of the bill!

I do a hell of a lot of respectful things for her and she does to me - it's a little bit naff to be trying to claim equality and seats on public transport at the same time doesn't it? I've never seen a man give a seat up for a woman - why should he? He's been lead to believe women are equal to him for years! It works both ways.

Another quick point - I've been taught throughout my life that unless a woman is on the floor legs akimbo with a baby mid-delivery, you should never assume she is pregnant - it will always end in bruises!

nickyhutch

We'll have to agree to disagree on this one, snowmaid. I come in later than 4am, sometimes (and have been known to go straight to work - yes really :eek: ). I've also thrown up, and "made out" with people. AND there's the odd evening I don't remember much of. HOWEVER, I still respect myself, and don't really care whether people like you do.

Just because you think it's "disgusting" and "can't see the point" doesn't mean some people don't quite like it.

bestpud

The big problem with this thread, as I see it, and others posters have too, is that this is NOT an issue of gender roles but one of general behaviour.

Gender roles are socially constructed - there is nothing whatsoever to say that the OPs idea of respectful roles are the best ones. Society has told us for years that men and women are different, but it is just our biological sex that is different, not our gender. As a society, I believe we need to start respecting each other more, but this has nothing at all to do with the way men or women behave - it is to do with how INDIVIDUALS behave (as in human beings sharing the same world).

OP, I really didn't understand where you are coming from until you mentioned your church. If your church is anything like one I am aware of, you are part of a community that advocates such differences, but that does NOT make them the correct way to be. I felt the original post had an air of arrogance about it - who decided you are in a position to judge how women or men should behave? You don't like what you see about you but that does not mean you are right - it means you think differently to the people you have observed.

I don't drink at all and hate to see ANYONE so drunk they are unaware of what they doing (I worry about their safety) and I would give my seat up to anyone who needed it more than myself. However, if my OH beat me to the last seat, my only thought would be to make sure I got past him the next time - it's just a bit of fun really! We should not 'insist' ANYONE goes out of their way for us, as again that is merely a socially constructed idea of how we should be, as is paying. I don't like swearing either - by males or females!

Basically what I am saying is - please can we take the gender bit out as that is, frankly, irrelevant to what would otherwise be valid points?

Bestpud

chrissyd_2

Has this got anything to do with money saving? I suppose it has if you're going to let someone else buy everything for you!

Having been given a little window into what my wife must be thinking about all the time I'm not sure what I must do next. So come on ladies please help me out here. Can you answer the following questions for me so that I can get through the Easter weekend without offending her?

1. Do I open jars etc?
2. Do I open the door for her?
3. Do I stop calling her 'Little Lady'? **
4. Should I help her moving blocks around to the back garden (she is 8 months pregnant with number 3)?
5. Should I buy her something nice for the weekend?
6. Should I try and enjoy watching Loose Women on ITV?
7. Shall I get more in touch with my emotions?

Answers on a postcard to the usual address please

** this was a joke, so don't go burning your dungarees in protest.

asea

Bestpud - fantastic post - the voice of reason in the face of lunacy - thank you!

anguk

In our relationship we're both equals who respect each other and we each have different strengths, OH will carry heavy things or lift something down for me because he's taller & stronger and I'll do things like the washing because he hasn't got a clue :rotfl: I would be annoyed if I was treat like the "little woman" but I do like to be treat like a lady

I don't like to see anyone rolling around drunk and must admit I cringe a bit more if it's a woman with all her bits hanging out but each to their own. I suppose there are some things I am a bit old-fashioned about, when my kids were young they were both taught to give their seat up on the bus to an adult because when I was young that was the rule on the bus, if you pay half-fare you must give up your seat to a full-paying passenger.

We need to have respect for everyone no matter of their sex, I think it's all about changing times, people are "me, me, me" now but also more things are sociably accepted now. Years ago a woman going to a bar and getting drunk would probably be seen as "loose" whereas it's normal now, I know my Grandma would never have dreamt of going into a pub without my Grandad and I don't think she's ever gone to the bar to order a drink.