General lack of respect for eachother

Alikay

Hmmm....that old "I have a right to do what I want to do" thing? Yes, my children have quoted that one!! I tell them that yes, they MIGHT have a right to do whatever they want, but then so would everyone else. And if everyone did exactly as they wanted..well where would we all be then?!!

I think its interesting that the Amish and Mennonites have such a low rate of depression and mental health problems but very strict rules and codes of personal conduct. In contrast, the rest of the USA have a high degree of personal freedom, wealth and choice, and yet many spend hours on the counsellors couch being treated for depression, anxiety and low self esteem.

The happiest people seem to be those who live in a mutually supportive community with FAIR rules, and unpleasant consequences for breaching them. If only governments could design and implement such a system we'd all be safer, happier and more fulfilled. All these thousands of years we've been on the earth, all the skills and knowledge mankind has developed and we still get it so very wrong!!

snowmaid

Alikay wrote: »

Hmmm....that old "I have a right to do what I want to do" thing? Yes, my children have quoted that one!! I tell them that yes, they MIGHT have a right to do whatever they want, but then so would everyone else. And if everyone did exactly as they wanted..well where would we all be then?!!

I think its interesting that the Amish and Mennonites have such a low rate of depression and mental health problems but very strict rules and codes of personal conduct. In contrast, the rest of the USA have a high degree of personal freedom, wealth and choice, and yet many spend hours on the counsellors couch being treated for depression, anxiety and low self esteem.

The happiest people seem to be those who live in a mutually supportive community with FAIR rules, and unpleasant consequences for breaching them. If only governments could design and implement such a system we'd all be safer, happier and more fulfilled. All these thousands of years we've been on the earth, all the skills and knowledge mankind has developed and we still get it so very wrong!!

I agree 100% with you. Too much freedom and decision making is put into the hands of children, instead of allowing them to enjoy their childhood in a safe, strict, loving environment. Our children are taught that they deserve respect instead of being taught that respect is earned! Adulthood should be something to celebrate and something to look forward to. It used to be that one's 21st signified a huge milestone into adulthood, this is no longer so.

In the animal kingdom if a pup steps out of line they are given a good nip! Please, I am not advocating biting our kids! :rolleyes: But our children need to be kept in line and taught that they have to be children and learn before they can be adults. Our kids also need to be set to work!! Yes, work!! Horrors of horrors! Chores! gardening on weekends! Not hanging around the local newsagent wreaking havoc!

There needs to be emphasis on the family unit and doing things together. In our Church we firmly believe that a strong family unit is of paramount importance. We need family Sunday lunches, with extended family visiting, forget the malls!

cathryn107

Neh, I do not 'dislike' other women! (Why do people always have to get personal??

I'm afraid to say that I also thought that your initial thread indicated a real distaste for women - or at least came across as sneering. I don't know if that was your intention. Anyway flame wars keep the board interesting, but if you want to be controversial, fire away and be prepared take the consequences!

snowmaid

cathryn107 wrote: »

I'm afraid to say that I also thought that your initial thread indicated a real distaste for women - or at least came across as sneering. I don't know if that was your intention. Anyway flame wars keep the board interesting, but if you want to be controversial, fire away and be prepared take the consequences!

I'm sorry you feel that way. Having read it again, I wouldn't have thought I was having a 'go' at women, but rather trying to point out EXAMPLES of where SOME people, men and women, could be going wrong. I made references to both men and women. I don't see where I was sneering. I am certainly not sitting here 'holier than thou'! I have my faults which are many!

I knew it would be controversial and get some peoples backs up. Sometimes something may hit a nerve.

Morglin

Wasn't the whole point of equality to treat each other with respect?

A relationship without mutual respect is doomed to failure.

Lin

dianadors

I believe that you shouldnt have to "earn" respect - we should all respect each other, but I do believe respect is easy to lose.

asea

snowmaid wrote: »

I think you are missing the point, it has NOTHING to do with abilities but everything to do with being courteous.

I think there is very little sexier than a guy who stands and offers his seat to a lady.
Are we (a big generalisation) really that determined to emasculate men completely? Even to refusing an offer of a seat and taking offence to that?

I am only to pleased to let my hubby be the 'stronger' sex and him be my 'protector'. We respect eachother and eachothers strengths. It's no wonder men are confused

I pity you. that's if you're not a troll but if you actually believe this stuff and live your life that way then I can't help but feel sorry for you & glad that most of the rest of us girls have managed to leave your backwards way of thinking behind us.

snowmaid

asea wrote: »

I pity you. that's if you're not a troll but if you actually believe this stuff and live your life that way then I can't help but feel sorry for you & glad that most of the rest of us girls have managed to leave your backwards way of thinking behind us.

Troll?.....I know I look awful in the mornings but oh my word!! A troll?!?!?

As I have stated, it is merely my opinion! You are entitled to yours! But if your 'modern' way is what is happening to 'modern' families, I am happy to stick with my 'backward' thinking!

LydiaSophia

But, if we ladies want respect, we have to do our part:

1. Don't roll around drunk in the name of 'equality' - rather keep our dignity and wits about us.
2. Insist a guy fetch and take you - insist on general respect.
3. Graciously let a guy open a door for you - it doesn't make you less a person, but rather shows a respect for eachother.
4. If we are going to act like sl@gs we will be treated as such.
5. If a guy wants to take you on a date, let him pay. Let him have some self respect.
6. If a guy offers you a seat on a train, don't be rude, but rather say thankyou and smile instead of taking his head off.
7. Let your guy know that as long as you are both holding full day jobs, you will each do an equal amount of work at home.
8. Dress modestly and smartly. If you dress like a t@art I'm afraid you will be treated like one. You can still be sexy with everything covered.
8. Don't lose your self respect by being foul mouthed around people, rather keep your dignity and insist that guys don't use bad language around you and that they show you respect.

I cannot believe that someone posted something as utterly patronising as this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe you are just pointing out what is wrong in your relationship.

snowmaid

LydiaSophia wrote: »

I cannot believe that someone posted something as utterly patronising as this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe you are just pointing out what is wrong in your relationship.

Where is it patronising?? What is wrong in being 'nice' and considerate to one another or not conducting yourself in a 'vicky pollard' manner?

Every example I have shown is an actual account of something either I have witnessed personally, or has been ranted about in conversation or written in letters in the newspaper.

Why would you think that everything I have pointed out is what is wrong in my relationship? My relationship with my husband is far from perfect and we have certainly been through the mill, however, after 17 years of marriage, witnessing situations, breakups, general conversation with friends, acquaintances, colleagues, etc etc, it is obvious there is a noticable change in attitude towards eachother in society. I have made some little suggestions where we, as society, can perhaps make a few little changes to make the world a nicer place.

If you think it offensive that I have suggested that a woman doesn't, FOR EXAMPLE, roll around drunk or swear like a trooper, then I do apologise. Of course, that is your 'right' to behave as such if you wish. :rolleyes: But dont' be offended because someone says that its distasteful to see a woman stumbling about with her skirt hitched and her nether-regions hanging out, while vomiting all over the pavement, all in the name of 'equality' or 'her right to do so'