delicate subject - abortion

Welshwoofs

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I wasn't going to post on this thread as I couldn't answer what the OP asked but I can't let your comments go ignored. CARE confidential do not use tactics to prevent women having an abortion. They support the woman whether she has an abortion or continues with the pregnancy.

Sorry Torry, but I've never heard of them but a cursory glance at their site doesn't support the idea that they are dispassionate. Take, for instance, their answer to first discovering you are pregnant and thinking about an abortion:

"What makes being pregnant a hard thing for you right now?
Perhaps you are worried that you will lose your job, or your partner or your
freedom? Maybe you feel too young or you couldn’t cope?"

That stance misses out the absolutely obvious "You know what? It's not hard but I just don't want a baby!"

The rest of the pamphlet I downloaded was obviously aimed at encouraging women to keep their children as it banged on about making 'short term decisions' that may 'effect the long term'.

And their words on abortion:

"For some women, abortion is something they feel they have come to terms with, but for others they feel that it is a painful part of their lives - something that affects them deeply, even if they felt they were making the right decision at the time."

Well I've had an abortion and it was neither something 'I had to come to terms with' nor something that was 'a painful part of their lives'. I've had more painful bowel movements and I've given more thought to my choice of dishes from a take-away menu. Why make an abortion into a life changing thing when it's simply a very trivial thing to a lot of women?

And this....

"I had an abortion a long time ago...

If you had an abortion a long time ago, maybe you have experienced something in your life recently that has brought it all back again for you and you're finding it hard to shake off as you did before. Perhaps this is the first time you've allowed yourself to really think about what happened and what your abortion meant."




Oh please! I've love to drop-kick whomever wrote that bunch of !!!!!!.

Person_one

marywooyeah wrote: »

And no I have no idea how much it costs to terminate a pregnancy in financial terms, but either way they're not doing it out of the goodness of their hearts.

That's exactly what they do, they're a charity!

Torry_Quine

Welshwoofs wrote: »

Sorry Torry, but I've never heard of them but a cursory glance at their site doesn't support the idea that they are dispassionate. Take, for instance, their answer to first discovering you are pregnant and thinking about an abortion:

"What makes being pregnant a hard thing for you right now?
Perhaps you are worried that you will lose your job, or your partner or your
freedom? Maybe you feel too young or you couldn’t cope?"

That stance misses out the absolutely obvious "You know what? It's not hard but I just don't want a baby!"

The rest of the pamphlet I downloaded was obviously aimed at encouraging women to keep their children as it banged on about making 'short term decisions' that may 'effect the long term'.

And their words on abortion:

"For some women, abortion is something they feel they have come to terms with, but for others they feel that it is a painful part of their lives - something that affects them deeply, even if they felt they were making the right decision at the time."

Well I've had an abortion and it was neither something 'I had to come to terms with' nor something that was 'a painful part of their lives'. I've had more painful bowel movements and I've given more thought to my choice of dishes from a take-away menu. Why make an abortion into a life changing thing when it's simply a very trivial thing to a lot of women?

And this....

"I had an abortion a long time ago...

If you had an abortion a long time ago, maybe you have experienced something in your life recently that has brought it all back again for you and you're finding it hard to shake off as you did before. Perhaps this is the first time you've allowed yourself to really think about what happened and what your abortion meant."




Oh please! I've love to drop-kick whomever wrote that bunch of !!!!!!.

Taken out of context I totally agree that those comments can seem unhelpful at the least but that's not the whole story. Also someone who is 100% sure of the decision to have an abortion is unlikely though not impossible to be looking at such a site.

For a woman who is unsure about the decision asking questions such as why you are thinking about abortion and what are the reasons you can't continue with the pregnancy can help her clarify her decision either way.

Welshwoofs

marywooyeah wrote: »

Welshwoofs sorry for the long quote - not sure how to section it off like you have done.

If you want to section off bits you put a [ then the word 'quote' and a closing ] to begin the section you want to quote and a [ then a / and the word 'quote' and a] to finish the section.

I referred to that website as another poster said that marie stopes is a charity - I was pointing out that they charge for abortions eg its not free. It saddens me to read that it is your personal crusade to promote abortion - I will pray for you.

Please, please don't 'pray' for me. I'm an atheist and I would find the concept of praying for me a total insult to my beliefs. Yes, I do promote abortion because I see all too many women having babies when they are in no position to raise them properly because the media screams at them that babies are 'good'.

Pro life refers to the child's life - choosing to keep your baby and allowing them to continue the life that they have already begun. If you think ending a child's life is pro life then I am sad to hear that.

No it does not refer to the 'child's' life because there is no child. There is not even a baby. At the stage that most abortions are performed in this country you are talking about an unviable blob. Ending a child's life would be referring to a being that has been born, has survived infancy and gone on to childhood and that is NOT abortion so....I'm sorry to say....you are simply leveraging highly emotive pro-life definitions that have no bearing in biology.

I think abortion has always been taboo but if anything I would say that it is becoming "more acceptable" rather than reverting back into the back street abortions that you described in your earlier post. Hundreds of thousands of abortions are performed in england and wales each year and the rate goes up each year.

The media is heavily pro-motherhood at present. Being a 'mummy' is trumpeted from celeb mags to adverts (even for bloody household cleaning products!) to political rhetoric that defines the 'family' as a couple with children. Believe you me, the ones who are being marginalised in society at the moment are those who don't have children...and they're being marginalised politically and financially.

Welshwoofs

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Taken out of context I totally agree that those comments can seem unhelpful at the least but that's not the whole story. Also someone who is 100% sure of the decision to have an abortion is unlikely though not impossible to be looking at such a site.

But if it's an impartial site...why wouldn't a woman who's decided upon an abortion choose to look at it to see the opposing view? It's an intellectual decision after-all. Sorry, but that site came across as entirely emotive and not dispassionate in any way at all.

For a woman who is unsure about the decision asking questions such as why you are thinking about abortion and what are the reasons you can't continue with the pregnancy can help her clarify her decision either way.

I don't believe it would help them. It would influence them but that's not the same thing at all. It's not written dispassionately and without bias.

mishkanorman

Welshwoofs wrote: »

"For some women, abortion is something they feel they have come to terms with, but for others they feel that it is a painful part of their lives - something that affects them deeply, even if they felt they were making the right decision at the time."

Well I've had an abortion and it was neither something 'I had to come to terms with' nor something that was 'a painful part of their lives'. I've had more painful bowel movements and I've given more thought to my choice of dishes from a take-away menu. Why make an abortion into a life changing thing when it's simply a very trivial thing to a lot of women?

And this....

"I had an abortion a long time ago...

If you had an abortion a long time ago, maybe you have experienced something in your life recently that has brought it all back again for you and you're finding it hard to shake off as you did before. Perhaps this is the first time you've allowed yourself to really think about what happened and what your abortion meant."




Oh please! I've love to drop-kick whomever wrote that bunch of !!!!!!.

Whilst its great that you are so comfortable with your decision and have seemingly suffered no physical problems could I respectfully ask that you remember there are some of us posting here for who it was not such an easy walk in the park,

likening it to a choice on what to order from a take-away menu in such a flippant manner is quite insulting to those of us for who it wasnt so easy.

Torry_Quine

Welshwoofs wrote: »

But if it's an impartial site...why wouldn't a woman who's decided upon an abortion choose to look at it to see the opposing view? It's an intellectual decision after-all. Sorry, but that site came across as entirely emotive and not dispassionate in any way at all.



I don't believe it would help them. It would influence them but that's not the same thing at all. It's not written dispassionately and without bias.

Obviously anyone can and most likely does look at the site and although to you it was an intellectual decision but to many it is an emotional one and needs to be looked at in that way.

If the woman ignores any emotional response she may be having she is more likely to have problems in the future.

Obviously as they aren't an abortion provider they can't provide that but there is information about how an abortion is performed and any counsellor will give as much or as little information as the woman wants.

Person_one

mishkanorman wrote: »

Whilst its great that you are so comfortable with your decision and have seemingly suffered no physical problems could I respectfully ask that you remember there are some of us posting here for who it was not such an easy walk in the park,

likening it to a choice on what to order from a take-away menu in such a flippant manner is quite insulting to those of us for who it wasnt so easy.

There's no rule about how women have to feel about their abortion. Every woman is an individual and Welshwoof's experience is just as valid as yours.

mishkanorman

Person_one wrote: »

There's no rule about how women have to feel about their abortion. Every woman is an individual and Welshwoof's experience is just as valid as yours.

no, but there are rules to sensitivity towards others on this site.

im not saying she should be weeping and moaning that its the worst thing to ever happen to them, im asking for a bit of respect towards those of us who didnt find the whole process a breeze.

Person_one

mishkanorman wrote: »

no, but there are rules to sensitivity towards others on this site.

im not saying she should be weeping and moaning that its the worst thing to ever happen to them, im asking for a bit of respect towards those of us who didnt find the whole process a breeze.

I don't believe she tried to dictate how other people should feel or express their opinions, that was you.