delicate subject - abortion

Welshwoofs

mishkanorman wrote: »

I respectfully ask that you remember there are some of us posting here for who it was not such an easy walk in the park,

I haven't been disrespectful to anyone else here.

likening it to a choice on what to order from a take-away menu in such a flippant manner is quite insulting to those of us for who it wasnt so easy.

It's not 'quite insulting' to anyone at all because it's about me and my experience and my feelings. Why on earth should I have to apologise for how I felt or lie about what it was like for me?

heartbreak_star

Torry_Quine wrote: »

No CARE confidential aren't scaremongers as I said before. Are you saying that you've had counselling at one of there centres and the counsellor offered 'spiritual help to make the right decision'. If that's the case then she was going against what us clearly supposed to happen.

Can't agree at all about the other organisations at all.

Yep - made an appointment at Care as they were the first ones I happened across and felt thoroughly pushed into unwanted motherhood. I believe the woman who spoke to me was religious and I agree that she should not have coerced me. That's why I went elsewhere.


I agree with you that bullying someone to make the decision that you personally think is the right one is very wrong and counter to everything that a pro-lifer should stand for.

Even if someone makes a decision that we don't agree with we should always respect the right of others to make the decision that's right for them.

It's nice to hear a pro-lifer speak so well of pro-choice. Usually they call us all murderers and other things like that, which is really sad

My warblings are in pink as I'm pants at multiquoting!!

HBS x

Torry_Quine

heartbreak_star wrote: »

My warblings are in pink as I'm pants at multiquoting!!

Yep - made an appointment at Care as they were the first ones I happened across and felt thoroughly pushed into unwanted motherhood. I believe the woman who spoke to me was religious and I agree that she should not have coerced me. That's why I went elsewhere.


It's nice to hear a pro-lifer speak so well of pro-choice. Usually they call us all murderers and other things like that, which is really sad
HBS x

I'm really sorry that you seem to have got a 'rogue' counsellor at CARE. You should never even be able to tell the religious outlook of the counsellor who should give equal weight to all options. Actually CARE Confidential would always want to know if a counsellor over steps the mark as your did.

I have not and will not ever use negative language such as 'murderer' about any woman who has had an abortion. I agree that language used by both sides can be very wrong.

marywooyeah

Torry_Quine wrote: »

No CARE confidential aren't scaremongers as I said before. Are you saying that you've had counselling at one of there centres and the counsellor offered 'spiritual help to make the right decision'. If that's the case then she was going against what us clearly supposed to happen.

maybe the counsellor meant reaching the right decision for the person in question rather than the right decision necessarily being keeping the baby.

I had my post abortion counselling with care confidential and they weren't scaremongering or judgmental at all - I honestly don't think I'd have got any better without having those sessions.

When people say they are scaremongering by telling women about the risks of emotional harm I don't think that is at all - huge numbers of women suffer after abortions its a very real possibility and women should be made aware of the potential for this to happen in order that they can consider the possibility when reaching their decision. I was told that I would "probably feel a bit sad for 2 weeks and then go back to normal".

Well over 6 years later I still feel as raw as if it was yesterday, I wish someone had told me that this might happen to me.

barbiedoll

Perhaps instead of arguing about the pros and cons of abortion, we should be asking ourselves why contraception is so unreliable. And why just about every reliable method of contraception is for women to take or implant or insert. Why has there been no reliable contraceptive pill for men yet? And don't tell me that men can't be trusted to take it, from what I gather, speaking to men that I know, they would quite like to have the choice, as opposed to being "tricked" into fatherhood by unscrupulous women.

And we should also ask ourselves how it has come to be that so many women are now infertile, due to chlamydia or other sexually transmitted diseases. Why are young girls having sex so early with so many different partners? Is it really what they want or is it media/social pressure?

The right to abortion is (thankfully) enshrined in law in this country. You may now terminate your pregnancy without fear of prosecution or judgement and you will be able to have the procedure in a clinical setting. There's no point in arguing about the moral rights and wrongs, that is and will always be, a personal decision. We have other issues affecting women that we should be shouting about!

Shovel_Lad

Regardless of which side of the fence you are, the fact that Care Confidential features so negatively in the "Mystery Shopper" type surveys would mean that I would never recommend them:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/aug/02/abortion-pregnancy-counselling-found-wanting

For the record: I have never had, or sought an abortion or abortion advice.

Torry_Quine

marywooyeah wrote: »

maybe the counsellor meant reaching the right decision for the person in question rather than the right decision necessarily being keeping the baby.

I had my post abortion counselling with care confidential and they weren't scaremongering or judgmental at all - I honestly don't think I'd have got any better without having those sessions.

When people say they are scaremongering by telling women about the risks of emotional harm I don't think that is at all - huge numbers of women suffer after abortions its a very real possibility and women should be made aware of the potential for this to happen in order that they can consider the possibility when reaching their decision. I was told that I would "probably feel a bit sad for 2 weeks and then go back to normal".

Well over 6 years later I still feel as raw as if it was yesterday, I wish someone had told me that this might happen to me.

I agree that she could well have meant the right decision for the client but she shouldn't have brought a spiritual dimension into it at all as that clouds the issue.

I'm glad that you were helped by them and didn't feel judged in any way.

Yes women need to know the risks involved but we do no-one any favours when we up the anti on the possible psychological consequences.

barbiedoll wrote: »

Perhaps instead of arguing about the pros and cons of abortion, we should be asking ourselves why contraception is so unreliable. And why just about every reliable method of contraception is for women to take or implant or insert. Why has there been no reliable contraceptive pill for men yet? And don't tell me that men can't be trusted to take it, from what I gather, speaking to men that I know, they would quite like to have the choice, as opposed to being "tricked" into fatherhood by unscrupulous women.

And we should also ask ourselves how it has come to be that so many women are now infertile, due to chlamydia or other sexually transmitted diseases. Why are young girls having sex so early with so many different partners? Is it really what they want or is it media/social pressure?

The right to abortion is (thankfully) enshrined in law in this country. You may now terminate your pregnancy without fear of prosecution or judgement and you will be able to have the procedure in a clinical setting. There's no point in arguing about the moral rights and wrongs, that is and will always be, a personal decision. We have other issues affecting women that we should be shouting about!

Its much more difficult to have contraception for men as they produce sperm all the time as opposed to women producing an egg once a month.

Totally agree that something needs to be done to stop the ever increasing rate of sexual infections especially amongst our young people.

Welshwoofs

Shovel_Lad wrote: »

Regardless of which side of the fence you are, the fact that Care Confidential features so negatively in the "Mystery Shopper" type surveys would mean that I would never recommend them:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/aug/02/abortion-pregnancy-counselling-found-wanting

For the record: I have never had, or sought an abortion or abortion advice.

Well I'd find it rather worrying that their 'manual' for post-abortion counselling includes the statement:

"Part of the healing journey to post-abortion recovery involves repentance – the only remedy for guilt. If we are to walk this journey with a woman then we need to clearly see which boundaries she has crossed … immorality, coveting, lying, as well as taking innocent life."

janninew

I was chatting my sister about this subject yesterday after seeing in the news about women who have an an abortion being at higher risk of having a premature baby. My sister said she thinks it wrong that women are being told this and its in the news, I disagreed and said women should have all the facts at hand when making the decision, the same as you would expect before having any other medical procedure. Its impossible to know how you will feel after an abortion, of course some women never have a second thought and then some women are traumatised for a very long time.

I have no personal experience of abortion but I don't envy anybody who has been through the experience. I have 1 daughter and have decided not to have any more after complications and contraception failing is a big worry for me, hence why I've started to look into more permanent methods.

Torry_Quine

Welshwoofs wrote: »

Well I'd find it rather worrying that their 'manual' for post-abortion counselling includes the statement:

"Part of the healing journey to post-abortion recovery involves repentance – the only remedy for guilt. If we are to walk this journey with a woman then we need to clearly see which boundaries she has crossed … immorality, coveting, lying, as well as taking innocent life."

Obviously to someone like yourself who personally has had no psychological problems after an abortion that statement has no meaning for you. The women who go to CARE CONFIDENTIAL for counselling though are having problems one of which can be guilt and this can really drag her down.

janninew wrote: »

I was chatting my sister about this subject yesterday after seeing in the news about women who have an an abortion being at higher risk of having a premature baby. My sister said she thinks it wrong that women are being told this and its in the news, I disagreed and said women should have all the facts at hand when making the decision, the same as you would expect before having any other medical procedure. Its impossible to know how you will feel after an abortion, of course some women never have a second thought and then some women are traumatised for a very long time.

I have no personal experience of abortion but I don't envy anybody who has been through the experience. I have 1 daughter and have decided not to have any more after complications and contraception failing is a big worry for me, hence why I've started to look into more permanent methods.

I agree that women should have all the accurate facts before making any medical decision including having an abortion.