Would you pay to go to a wedding?

coolcait

Person_one wrote: »

Well, both of those are rude.

Its so simple. Invite people to your wedding but don't tell them what present you want! You wouldn't have a 40th or a housewarming or a golden wedding party and send out a wish list with the invitation would you? Even though those also have an expectation that people will bring presents.

If they then say 'what present do you want' you can tell them (as long as its not diamonds or a car or something stupid!)

Well, I saved myself a lot of time by boiling down all of the rhymes, poems and 'little notes' into the two basic underlying messages

I don't think that you can really compare wedding traditions to other occasions where guests 'expect' to bring a present.

The biggest difference is in the type of gifts involved. Traditionally, birthday gifts are for the person; wedding gifts are for the home - and usually more expensive thangifts for a housewarming.

If you get 20 Sanctuary pamper packs from the guests at your birthday party, you [STRIKE]will know that they were a recent offer in Boots[/STRIKE] can always work your way through them all eventually .

If you get 20 toasters from the guests at your wedding, your options are rather more limited.

A wedding list can serve a practical purpose - for guests as well as the couple.

No guest wants to feel that their carefully chosen gift is just one toaster out of 20. No matter how much the happy couple appreciate the thought.

Gloomendoom

Person_one wrote: »

Everybody thinks that.

Deja vu alert.

Like I said above, we have a very close knit family. If there had been any angry, or even slightly unhappy, people, I would know about it by now.

I forgot to mention that (shock horror) guests were also invited to bring cakes to augment the afternoon tea, if they so wished.

I've never seen so much cake... or so many happy children.

Gloomendoom

Person_one wrote: »

Seriously though, there may have been a few slightly ticked off ones reading your [STRIKE]instruction booklet[/STRIKE] invitation who just put up with it for your sake. There's a lot of that going around!

So you would expect a simple invitation? No clue as to where, how to get there, suggestions for possible accommodation, no clue as to the order of the day, no clothing suggestions so that guests and their children can take advantage of the activities on offer without ruining their best clothes or having to skinny dip in the pool?

Or are the weddings you go to always so conventional that an invitation is all you need? You know exactly what is going to happen because it will be exactly the same as the last wedding you went to, and the one before that.

Person_one

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Or are the weddings you go to always so conventional that an invitation is all you need, you know exactly what is going to happen because it will be exactly the same as the last wedding you went to, and the one before that?

Is that an attempt at a dig? :cool:

coolcait

Person_one wrote: »

Is that an attempt at a dig? :cool:

Pot. Kettle. Black.


(Disclaimer: This post is on-topic, as it references two household items which may be given as wedding gifts, and a colour which may be controversial if worn by a female wedding guest)

Saturnalia

How come wedding lists are suddenly Not On, despite being tradition for, ooh, probably most of last century?

Person_one

Saturnalia wrote: »

How come wedding lists are suddenly Not On, despite being tradition for, ooh, probably most of last century?

They're fine, as long as you wait for someone to ask you for it, its the handing them out with the invitation or the little begging letters/poems that are Not On.

MrsE_2

Person_one wrote: »

They're fine, as long as you wait for someone to ask you for it, its the handing them out with the invitation or the little begging letters/poems that are Not On.

But take your average big uk wedding of 100 to the day & a 100 to the evening. That's 100 invites, so you post out a 100 invites, then they all have to contact you to ask for a list, then you have to post out 100 lists. That's an awful waste of stamps, paper & time.

I'm not a fan of the poems asking for money or vouchers, but I'm happy to give money or vouchers. I would much rather my hard earned cash went on something they wanted, it's too hard earned to be wasted.

notanewuser

MrsE wrote: »

But take your average big uk wedding of 100 to the day & a 100 to the evening. That's 100 invites, so you post out a 100 invites, then they all have to contact you to ask for a list, then you have to post out 100 lists. That's an awful waste of stamps, paper & time.

I'm not a fan of the poems asking for money or vouchers, but I'm happy to give money or vouchers. I would much rather my hard earned cash went on something they wanted, it's too hard earned to be wasted.

I can't imagine all guests at a wedding would need their own invitation. We had about 90 to ours (and an extra 30ish to the evening) and made less than 50 invitations.

koalamummy

This thread has been very educational.

I never knew that wedding lists were ever considered acceptable? In the area I am from they are, and always have been regarded with distaste at best. It wouldn't be considered normal at all to invite people who are not close enough to you to already know what you may need, like, or want for a gift should they be inclined to buy or make you one.