Would you pay to go to a wedding?

Person_one

zoominatorone wrote: »

I think I'd suggest everyone donated £5 towards the wedding itself and made it clear they were not to buy presents.

There isn't much you can buy for people who are already living together that they haven't got and most gifts are just going to sit in a cupboard forever.

Wedding presents are always more than a fiver do it's win win for everyone.

There needs to be some sort of public announcement, you aren't owed gifts just because you're getting married, and no matter how usual and common it is, you should never ever assume you'll get them or ask for them!

Person_one

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Still wrong in my opinion. Nothing about gifts should be mentioned in the invitation. Telling people that gifts are optional while giving contact details is giving very mixed messages.

Plus, being told that gifts are optional would irk me. Of course they're optional, I don't need to be told that! How would they ever be mandatory? How would you enforce that? :rotfl:

shays_mum

Not read the whole thread, how shameful, its their wedding they should pay their way as they are inviting everyone!.
Also its quite standard in some cultures to write "no boxed gifts" implying they want cash instead, in my culture that warrants £11 in a card for people you don't really know, £25 for mates & £101+ for family or people your esp close to. Simples!

Person_one

shays_mum wrote: »

Not read the whole thread, how shameful, its their wedding they should pay their way as they are inviting everyone!.
Also its quite standard in some cultures to write "no boxed gifts" implying they want cash instead, in my culture that warrants £11 in a card for people you don't really know, £25 for mates & £101+ for family or people your esp close to. Simples!

'No Boxed Gifts' means cash? How bizarre! I'd have spent hours trying to figure out if they had a phobia of boxes, or hated recycling cardboard, and then given them something in a bag!

Gloomendoom

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Still wrong in my opinion. Nothing about gifts should be mentioned in the invitation. Telling people that gifts are optional while giving contact details is giving very mixed messages.

You can't win with this one.

Whatever anybody does, there will be somebody else will think it wrong.

There were no mixed messages, we are a close knit family and everybody invited was aware that we didn't need, nor expected any gifts. However, some people feel uncomfortable not giving gifts and their feelings needed to be taken into account.

daisiegg

Person one, just interested in your opinion on how we are handling the gift situation.

Weren't planning to do a gift list but after many of our guests asked us to, we did one. However we have not sent it out with the invitations nor publicised it anywhere, and only give it to people who specifically ask.

Would you consider this to be acceptable? Genuinely curious about you opinion.

Torry_Quine

Gloomendoom wrote: »

You can't win with this one.

Whatever anybody does, there will be somebody else will think it wrong.

There were no mixed messages, we are a close knit family and everybody invited was aware that we didn't need, nor expected any gifts. However, some people feel uncomfortable not giving gifts and their feelings needed to be taken into account.

It didn't need to be included with the invitations though.

daisiegg wrote: »

Person one, just interested in your opinion on how we are handling the gift situation.

Weren't planning to do a gift list but after many of our guests asked us to, we did one. However we have not sent it out with the invitations nor publicised it anywhere, and only give it to people who specifically ask.

Would you consider this to be acceptable? Genuinely curious about you opinion.

That's fine with me. If someone asks what you would like then giving them an idea is a good thing.

shays_mum

Person_one wrote: »

'No Boxed Gifts' means cash? How bizarre! I'd have spent hours trying to figure out if they had a phobia of boxes, or hated recycling cardboard, and then given them something in a bag!

That's one why of looking at it lol!, you must have alot of spare time

If there were set rules, we would not be having this discussion now i suppose!

Person_one

daisiegg wrote: »

Person one, just interested in your opinion on how we are handling the gift situation.

Weren't planning to do a gift list but after many of our guests asked us to, we did one. However we have not sent it out with the invitations nor publicised it anywhere, and only give it to people who specifically ask.

Would you consider this to be acceptable? Genuinely curious about you opinion.

That's fine, that's what I've said all along! Don't send out a begging letter, have expectations or make demands, but if anybody asks what they can buy you then feel free to make suggestions.

Person_one

shays_mum wrote: »

That's one why of looking at it lol!, you must have alot of spare time

If there were set rules, we would not be having this discussion now i suppose!

Spare time?

'No boxed gifts' just means no gifts in boxes though, it doesn't make any sense to try and use it as a euphemism for cash.