Would you pay to go to a wedding?

purpleweasel

Person_one wrote: »

You're never supposed to ask for anything, even if you're setting up home together. There's nothing worse than a begging letter in an invitation!

You're supposed to wait for people to ask you (or your mum or bridesmaids etc.) and then you can offer a helpful suggestion.

(I don't mind giving money at all, its much easier, but I loathe getting an invoice. Especially if its in the form of a godawful poem.)

My Mum/sister weren't willing or able to ring/write to everyone individually and i am right with you on the horrible rhyme thing. I'm not sure if it's the custom any more for people to ring the mother of the bride or the bridesmaid, even if they have their contact details?

It took ages to decide on suitable wording which indicated as much as possible that we neither wanted nor expected anything but if people really wanted to give us a gift we were saving towards a.... and this went in very small letters at the end of the invite. Apparently in Scotland it's the custom to give money in envelopes as a gift which seems a bit less complicated!

Gloomendoom

Saturnalia wrote: »

Were there any princesses in Star Trek? They'd probably be massively cooler and tougher characters than the Disney girls.

There was Droxine...



She wouldn't look out of place at a gypsy wedding.

Torry_Quine

purpleweasel wrote: »

My Mum/sister weren't willing or able to ring/write to everyone individually and i am right with you on the horrible rhyme thing. I'm not sure if it's the custom any more for people to ring the mother of the bride or the bridesmaid, even if they have their contact details?

It took ages to decide on suitable wording which indicated as much as possible that we neither wanted nor expected anything but if people really wanted to give us a gift we were saving towards a.... and this went in very small letters at the end of the invite. Apparently in Scotland it's the custom to give money in envelopes as a gift which seems a bit less complicated!

If I wanted to give a wedding gift, regardless of whether going to the wedding, it would be the couple themselves that I asked as I doubt I would even know who the mother or bridesmaid was!

I'm in Scotland and have never heard of giving money in an envelope as a gift and don't like the idea at all.

Person_one

purpleweasel wrote: »

My Mum/sister weren't willing or able to ring/write to everyone individually

You misunderstood a bit, you wait to be asked, you don't make the first move!

Think of another situation where its ok for an adult to just come out and ask for a present, there just aren't any, because it isn't, sorry.

janninew

I must admit I sigh with relief when I get a wedding invite with a gift list in! No traipsing round looking for the ideal present, then worrying if they already have it, somebody else has bought it etc! Plus some people are just rubbish at buying presents, like the family relation that bought my DH and me a pink kitten diary and calendar set for Christmas (we don't even have cats!) I gave her a Willow Tree figure which I spent a long time picking out! She's a lovely lady but her presents are very odd, I'm afraid that present went to our local charity shop, we wouldn't use it.

As for feeling under pressure to go abroad to weddings - don't! I've been invited to Jamaica this July for a relatives wedding, we aren't going and I've not spent any time worrying what they think and I certainly never thought they only invited us to get a gift! If you don't want to go abroad to a wedding, man up and say no!!

maryleerk06

I would not go to a wedding if I was expected to pay. :eek: I would also feel incredibly rude asking anyone to pay to come to mine.

You are inviting people to attend the magical day and celebrate with the couple...not fund the shindig for them!

If they can't afford to feed their guests they should either re-budget, cut costs elsewhere or reschedule the event at a later date when they can afford it! Just plain cheeky!

Can you tell I'm all about the tough love? haha

Gloomendoom

Torry_Quine wrote: »

If I wanted to give a wedding gift, regardless of whether going to the wedding, it would be the couple themselves that I asked as I doubt I would even know who the mother or bridesmaid was!

On our wedding invitations we made it clear that gifts were entirely optional as we didn't actually need anything. However, we asked those guests that did want to give a gift to liaise with the mother of the bride before buying anything. We gave her name and contact details for those that were unsure.

Person_one

Gloomendoom wrote: »

On our wedding invitations we made it clear that gifts were entirely optional as we didn't actually need anything. However, we asked those guests that did want to give a gift to liaise with the mother of the bride before buying anything. We gave her name and contact details for those that were unsure.

So near and yet so far!

zoominatorone

I think I'd suggest everyone donated £5 towards the wedding itself and made it clear they were not to buy presents.

There isn't much you can buy for people who are already living together that they haven't got and most gifts are just going to sit in a cupboard forever.

Wedding presents are always more than a fiver do it's win win for everyone.

Torry_Quine

Gloomendoom wrote: »

On our wedding invitations we made it clear that gifts were entirely optional as we didn't actually need anything. However, we asked those guests that did want to give a gift to liaise with the mother of the bride before buying anything. We gave her name and contact details for those that were unsure.

Still wrong in my opinion. Nothing about gifts should be mentioned in the invitation. Telling people that gifts are optional while giving contact details is giving very mixed messages.