Would you pay to go to a wedding?

Claree__x

People moaning about daytime and evening guests really surprises me. As for the woman who said cut down the guestlist accordingly? I got married in the summer and we had family only during the day (about 60ish) and then MORE family in the evening - so it's not always possible. It's not about having an A list and a B list - it's about being reasonable about what you can afford.

We also put on a BBQ buffet in the evening which (IMO) was better than the sit down meal so my evening guests didn't miss out

careerbee

I'm getting married in a few months and would NEVER consider asking someone to contribute towards their meal. I would save up and pay for it myself even if it meant delaying the wedding a bit longer.

Either, don't go - say you are sorry but cannot afford it, or do go but don't take cash. If you haven't been asked in advance, it can't be sprung on you on the day if you don't have any money.

Also, on the whole evening guests/ day guest thing, we are getting married in a church and as the church has plenty of seats we are having an 'open church', i.e. if you know us come and watch us get married. Thats the important bit of the wedding anyway, saying "I do".

Pee

I don't think this is such a bad idea. I think if people paid for their meals, rather than getting a gift, it would be a much better idea for all weddings.

I would rather pay for their wedding than for their toaster, to be honest. I imagine lots of wedding gifts are unwanted, having seen some of the stuff my mum buys. My mum is, after nearly 40 years of marriage still waiting to use some towels she was given as wedding presents...

I am unlikely to ever get married, but if I did, I don't think I would want an £18 a head sit down meal as serving food to something like 60 guests means it is actually impossible to get it tasting better than good. (Maybe they could do it at a Michelin starred restaurant, but they can't in any of the hotels around here.) That said if that's what these people want, that's what they should have.

There is another point Martin makes about a bride having £12,000 from her dad to pay for the wedding and the bank reallocating half of it to her credit card debt. Now in that case, I think the bank are right...

bluestarlight

A young couple I am friends with got married in a very small wedding. They had previously asked guests to pay for their own dinner in a restaurant instead of giving them a present. It was very clear that you were not to buy a present as well.
I didnt mind at all, it was £30 each, and helped them have the people they really cared about there on their wedding day, rather than cutting it right down to the bare minimum. I would rather be invited and asked to contribute to a close friends wedding than not be invited at all. I would have spent that £30 on a present anyway.

bobmats_shel

I would under NO circumstances attend a wedding where I was expected to pay for a meal. Personally there are ways you do things and ways you don't, this is one of the DO NOT'S! I also HATE the bits of paper inside invitations with stupid rhymes asking for money or honeymoon contributions instead or wedding lists. I think its incredibly rude to include these with invitations, you should expect nothing, if you have a preference then you should tell a few friends or relatives who can tell anyone who asks if there is anything they can buy, and ONLY people who ask! This is what we did and we had several options. I would say no, and I would tell them how offended I was at the same time! If you can't afford it I'm certainly not paying for it! (I take a gift/money to EVERY wedding I attend b.t.w).

bobmats_shel

How much would this work out at for my family of 5! I'm still in shock that someone would do this!

dwibly

When I got married, we were not well off but my family cooked food for the reception (my mother and sisters). The cafe taht she worked in also supplied the cake and i bought silk in a sale and made my dress and the bridesmaids dresses. it isn't necessary to spend a fortune on a wonderful memorable wedding. if i was told to pay for a meal at a wedding, I would tell the bride and groom that I will bring my own sandwiches!

Toadyg

If people want to waste thousands on a lavish wedding then that's their business, just don't expect others to fund it.

lgs6753

I've been invited to a wedding abroad by a close family member. It's in the school holidays, so flights are going to be about £300 each, even on a budget airline. The venue is some way from the airport, so a hire car will be necessary. Another £200. The couple are paying for accommodation for three nights, but not food (except presumably at the ceremony) so that's another expense. All in all, the 'entry fee' is likely to be £1000 per couple!

We've not been asked to contribute directly, but I can think of a few things I'd rather spend a grand on!

Toadyg

I dislike weddings at the best of times. If asked to pay I wouldn't go, simply as that.