Would you pay to go to a wedding?

securityguy

*miaomiao* wrote: »

Answers like this tell me how little you care about your friends - no wonder they invited you to the evening only. Shame you didn't think about the fact that they cared and perhaps couldn't afford the daytime meal (which for our wedding was 60 quid per person)

Your choice. Sixty quid is the price of eating a la carte in an upmarket London restaurant: 120 pounds for two would certainly buy you a good meal, probably including decent wine too, at somewhere like Quaglino's. If you're paying that much for a mass meal at a hotel, then they've seen you coming.

or couldn't physically squeeze you into the building (which was also the case at our wedding where we had 68 guests without an inch left to spare).

So you chose a wedding venue that you couldn't afford and which couldn't fit sufficient people in it?

I'm afraid when you start adding up the total number of guests after your family has had a hissy-fit over the relatives you didn't invite

The word you were looking for was "no".

So count yourself lucky to be asked to the evening.

What's "lucky" about being invited to an evening do? Very few people go to !!!!-poor discos in suburban hotels as an active choice of the way to spend a Saturday evening, so I cannot imagine there is anyone who sees them as anything other than an obligation.

pennypinchUK

Well, it doesn't sound like you're too bothered about going. So you've a simple choice - pay and go, or don't pay and don't go. As with all things, only pay if you can afford it.

Person_one

pennypinchUK wrote: »

Well, it doesn't sound like you're too bothered about going. So you've a simple choice - pay and go, or don't pay and don't go. As with all things, only pay if you can afford it.

We really can't go down the road of viewing stuff like this as 'simple' and normal.

Weddings are getting mad enough without people thinking its ok to charge an admission fee, and that all they're doing by billing their 'guests' is giving them a choice.

joehoover

If you are inviting people for something there are situations when the host pays, wedding is and always will be one of those. Pre-wedding dinner on the other hand wouldn't be, that one is more out of choice and is a smaller family and close friends crowd.

Birthdays, personally I wouldn't expect the birthday boy/girl to pay, in my circle their meal is split between everyone else.

I've been to BBQ's and been told to bring anything I want to eat myself, they will supply buns and condiments, so you had to bring your own meat. I go but eat at home first, what a faff on everyone bringing a pack of burgers and having to cook their own aswell, so basically they are renting the use of their garden and their charcoal. If I host a dinner or a BBQ, all food is laid on unless you have special dietary requirements, and it's bring your own bottle.

They all clash as some instances the host pays others they don't but these are kinda ingrained in our society so they shouldn't be changing them for a wedding to make guests pay.

Reggie256

I, personally, wouldn’t.
I married last September – it was perfect. We did not, however, have an evening ‘disco’ as we agreed that it wasn’t financially viable* You wouldn’t invite someone to your home for a meal and then expect them to cook said meal and wash the dishes afterward. ‘Guest’ is defined as “One who is a recipient of hospitality at the home or table of another”. Hospitality is defined as “friendly, welcoming, and generous treatment offered to guests or strangers”. There is nothing generous, or particularly friendly, about such a scenario.

*We did manage to get a few extra hours at the reception venue, and since a friend of mine who actually works as an entertainer was providing live music, the quality of the reception offset the lack of evening event!

Fluff15

I think it's extremely cheeky and there is no way she should have asked. That being said, I would probably still go as I wouldn't like to miss it and subsidise by giving her a much cheaper gift instead.

Augustus_the_Strong

I think this is quite a cheek - they should really be treating family & friends on their wedding day, not expecting them to buy tickets. As someone suggested, it would be sensible for the couple to arrange the food themselves. But whatever they do, you should go - save the money by not giving them a present - it's more important to be there, I think.

dawn_rose

i personally think it is cheeky to ask for you to pay for the meal. If it was me i wouldnt go. i got married nearly 9 years ago now we had a nice wedding church hall job after the church it was fab and didnt cost the earth. I certainly wouldnt ask for money for the meal. In scouse tradition of old you dont even pay for a drink never mind your meal in a flashy hotel.

wurley

I would think twice marrying someone with that kind of money sense! :eek:

That aside. I would pay but buy cheaper present (ie an argos voucher for £10 ) to compensate. :beer:

suchgreatheights

I would definitely not expect to pay for food. It would take such a shine off the day and if the food was crap you would be royally annoyed. If it was crap and free, who cares!

To be honest I don't really expect to pay for drinks at a wedding either. At least not before about 10pm. I have been to both lavish and modest (buffet, beers in a bucket) type weddings and I can honestly say I have enjoyed them both equally (but have never been expected to fork out for food).

I think it depends also whether you are "in" the wedding e.g. bridesmaid, best man etc. If so, I wouldn't expect to pay for anything except the cost of getting myself and my other half to the venue. As a regular guest, I wouldn't expect an outfit or accommodation to be provided.

I have some friends who got on a Thursday (because they couldn't afford the £10k venue on a Saturday). This was pretty inconsiderate as everyone attending had to take 2 days off work in addition to everything else. The cost of staying at the middle-of-nowhere wedding venue was £300 a night (2 night minimum). To be honest, they are on another planet.

A wedding can be done on practically any budget. It is wrong to expect your guests to pay for something you want, not something you need.