Would you pay to go to a wedding?

meritaten

Craftyscholar wrote: »

Worn by men who are used to wearing them kilts look fantastic.
If her dad thinks a kilt is a 'bloody skirt' that suggests that any Scottish links are very tenuous.
Why would you want people to wear the national costume of another country at your wedding?

her dad has absolutely nothing against kilts - in fact he thinks very much as you do. He would be self conscious in a kilt and as it was a Welsh girl marrying a Welsh guy (of Irish descent) he thought it rather strange! So did I when I heard that there is an Irish version of the kilt for his Name - but they chose the made-up Welsh one!

split_second

its only when you plan a wedding you realise what a minefield it is and how no matter what you do you cant please everyone.

we have bought a wedding package, we pay set price for 40 in the day, 80 at night and pay extra on top for each person over that, about £30 a head for a full day guest.

i have relatives that i havent seen for 10 or more years but you can guarantee if the wedding invite doesnt drop on their doormat my name will be mud for years to come, for example i have cousins who have never met my fiancee, a few of them didnt even know i had been seeing someone, have no idea what town i live in (even though it is 20 mins tops from where they live) and when my mum had a stroke 2 years ago, their parents (my dad's siblings and step siblings) didnt even go to see my mum at hospital, or when she was allowed home etc.

in my opinion they can all rot for an invite, my parents are already sent to coventry for not going to my dad's stepbrothers wedding to his second wife

andygb

split_second wrote: »

its only when you plan a wedding you realise what a minefield it is and how no matter what you do you cant please everyone.

we have bought a wedding package, we pay set price for 40 in the day, 80 at night and pay extra on top for each person over that, about £30 a head for a full day guest.

i have relatives that i havent seen for 10 or more years but you can guarantee if the wedding invite doesnt drop on their doormat my name will be mud for years to come, for example i have cousins who have never met my fiancee, a few of them didnt even know i had been seeing someone, have no idea what town i live in (even though it is 20 mins tops from where they live) and when my mum had a stroke 2 years ago, their parents (my dad's siblings and step siblings) didnt even go to see my mum at hospital, or when she was allowed home etc.

in my opinion they can all rot for an invite, my parents are already sent to coventry for not going to my dad's stepbrothers wedding to his second wife

Then why would you be worried about what they thought of you, if you hadn't seen them for 10 years and you don't seem to like them very much.
I reckon that it would just be two faced to invite them to your wedding.

Kildare

Bryando wrote: »

No,never worn one! Ha,we will have to pay/rent one. On top of paying for a room in a hotel !! She is my sister but the last times I was TOLD what to wear was in the Army! If I don't go, probably fall out with me and maybe the family.

If you are part of the wedding party and she has decided on kilts (and its not costing you an arm and a leg) then I would say go with it if all the rest of your family have agreed - just for family peace. You could change out of it after the photos. Although I agree very demanding if there's no reason for a kilt other than the happy couple like the look of it.

Weddings are a minefield, unfortunately I feel that I'm being sucked back into it all again this morning. I am one of 5 adult bridesmaids and have just had a email from the bride suggesting we go on a hen do weekend which will cost a minimum of £200. Am hoping someone else says its too much before I have too... It's funny because when I had my hen do (before she was engaged) we had this whole conversation about how hen do's were getting out of the control and they should just be a one night thing (which is what I did).:p

shellsuit

Kildare wrote: »

If you are part of the wedding party and she has decided on kilts (and its not costing you an arm and a leg) then I would say go with it if all the rest of your family have agreed - just for family peace. You could change out of it after the photos. Although I agree very demanding if there's no reason for a kilt other than the happy couple like the look of it.

Weddings are a minefield, unfortunately I feel that I'm being sucked back into it all again this morning. I am one of 5 adult bridesmaids and have just had a email from the bride suggesting we go on a hen do weekend which will cost a minimum of £200. Am hoping someone else says its too much before I have too... It's funny because when I had my hen do (before she was engaged) we had this whole conversation about how hen do's were getting out of the control and they should just be a one night thing (which is what I did).:p

I wouldn't wait for someone else to say something, I'd reply straight away and tell her you can't afford/don't want to pay that kind of money for a hen weekend.

Your money is your money, it's upto you what you spend it on

Kildare

shellsuit wrote: »

I wouldn't wait for someone else to say something, I'd reply straight away and tell her you can't afford/don't want to pay that kind of money for a hen weekend.

Your money is your money, it's upto you what you spend it on

Daft thing is if I was giving advice to someone else that's exactly what I would say :rotfl: Will mull it over for a bit to formulate a reply...

Thing is I can afford it and there is plenty of notice, but when you total up the hen weekend, the weekend away for the wedding, plus gift and the day before the wedding spa treatments she'd like us to have together it becomes a lot of money to spend. She's a really good friend but it does all add up and get a bit OTT!

gregg1

We were recently invited to a wedding where we were asked to take something for the buffet, let them know what role we were willing to undertake (serving food, coats etc), fork out three hundred quid for hotel, buy a present, travel nearly two hundred miles, oh, and take a pair of slippers to wear at the reception (in their house) and a chair to sit on.

We stayed at home!!!

jtr2803

I would be happy if people just turned up.....although even that seems to be a little bit too much for some people that live within 10 minutes drive but others who live on foreign soil are jumping at the chance to get their flights booked....

What is it they say....you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family? :rotfl:

pleasedelete

One of the best weddings I have ever been 2 we all contributed. Friend was getting married for 2nd time (1st husband was a total ratbag who abused her and to left her with 4 teenage daughters). She met a great guy (widower). They had no money with 6 at uni between them.

It was in church hall. Everyone agreed what to bring- all food and drink was brought by guests. They insisted on no gifts. Friends did cars (the smart ones they owned) , flowers (many from gardens), music was from choir they belonged to. Her dress was simple and made by herself for about £30. The bridesmaids were there daughters who chose dresses from chain stores (all different reflecting their personalities- all blue but different shades).

It was a perfect wedding. They were both devout Christians and a church service was very important to them. No silly table gifts or annoying balloons. We decorated the hall very simply - candles and flowers.

It cost them a couple of hundred pounds. They have an amazing marriage and we all have amazing memories of pulling together to give them a great day.

WhyIsSavingSoHard

Why are weddings about the party, amazing dress, expensive presents or trying to outdo others? What about love, wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone and share that day with family and friends that you love too?

Why not be a true money saver and save up Tesco vouchers and take your guests out for a meal with them after your ceremony? Or use them as double up vouchers for food in store and have a buffet.

To answer the OP's question, I would not want to be asked to pay for my meal just because the bride and groom couldn't budget. As has been said by several of you, weddings are expensive enough for guests without having that thrown on you. Saying that though, if you do want to still go to the wedding, I would say contact them, explain that paying for a meal would mean that you couldn't afford a present, but that if they understand that, then yes, you'll be there.