Would you pay to go to a wedding?

Ellie83

I think I got 2 threads mixed up :rotfl:

PolishBigSpender

NewKittenHelp wrote: »

That can't happen in many places, so what's your answer then? Have them stood outside waiting too?

I think I'd change the venue.

suited-aces

No no no and a hundred times no. I thought it was a given that the present was more or less to "pay" the cost of your meal?

Brighton_belle

suited-aces wrote: »

I thought it was a given that the present was more or less to "pay" the cost of your meal?

Never ever heard of this till a thread on here earlier this year. No. The meal is the bride and grooms way of looking after their guests as a thank you for witnessing their marriage and sharing their celebration.
I have been to wedding that have varied greatly in cost - I did not weigh up the cost of more pricy weddings and then have to dash out duing the reception to top up what I had bought them as it obviously wasn't enough. Or cashed in something that cost more than the buffet I'd been provided with and bought a cheaper version:rotfl:.

suited-aces

Well it doesn't need to match exactly in value (and you shouldn't spend what you can't afford, regardless of how lovely the venue is), but more the general principal, "yes we paid for this meal, but you got us a nice present for a new home so all's good".

embob74

Wow getting married is a minefield, there are so many differing views. What one thinks is acceptable is abominable to another!

Times are definitely changing. The brides parents used to pay for the wedding, groom's paid for the honeymoon. Most couples pay for their wedding themselves now.
In some cultures (Jewish, Muslim) money is given to the couple so they do not start married life in debt. And yet when a couple asks for cash rather than gifts it is seen as tacky.
In the US I have heard it is customary for the bridesmaids and best man and ushers to pay for their own outfits.

I think the easy option is to not get married, it is the only way to ensure nobody gets offended!

embob74

OP - did the couple not check out venues and their costs prior to arranging to get married?
We checked out a few wedding fairs and most venues have their costs on their website.
I just think £15 is quite cheap as a cost for a wedding breakfast - places we looked at were all around the £30 mark. How come they have only just realised they can't afford it? A venue is one of the first things you arrange!

Person_one

suited-aces wrote: »

Well it doesn't need to match exactly in value (and you shouldn't spend what you can't afford, regardless of how lovely the venue is), but more the general principal, "yes we paid for this meal, but you got us a nice present for a new home so all's good".

I can't believe how many people have completely forgotten or misunderstood the nature of wedding receptions!

The guests go to the wedding ceremony for the sake of the couple, and the reception (where the couple 'receive' their guests, hence the name) is supposed to be them saying thank you for coming.

Its not all about exchanging stuff of monetary value!

CH27

suited-aces wrote: »

Well it doesn't need to match exactly in value (and you shouldn't spend what you can't afford, regardless of how lovely the venue is), but more the general principal, "yes we paid for this meal, but you got us a nice present for a new home so all's good".

I totally disagree. People should be invited to a wedding as the B&G want to spend time with them on their special day. People shouldn't be invited with what they will give in mind.

This thread has made me very wary about the wedding I am attending next month now.

NewKittenHelp

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

I think I'd change the venue.

At significant cost no doubt, and it rather defeats the object of my example.

I wonder just how many people would be happy to be totally excluded rather than invited to celebrate at the evening do.