Would you pay to go to a wedding?

kitschkitty

It is interesting how as guests many people feel some sort of entitlement to certain things when attending a wedding, but often all to easily criticise the bride and/or groom for doing the same thing!

I 100% agree with the other posters who have pointed out that a wedding is simply a public show/ceremony of the commitment of the marriage of the couple. A wedding is just one day - a marriage is for a lifetime.

While I do agree that you can have a fantastic wedding on any budget it's so annoying when people tell you that, only to go on to tell you about their (cheap) wedding and how you could (read should) do it their way. I had that and it's really annoying.

Same as people saying you can have a wedding any way you like, but it's very hard to plan only what you want, as other people always influence you (and as good hosts really you should try to consider your guests). It took my poor husband's closest family & friends talking to him directly to make him realise he could wear whatever he wanted etc. and chill out a bit as even he - a laid back type had various wedding stereotypes/etiquette/protocols about how a wedding should be imprinted on him somewhere along the way.

Pub meals, village halls, jeans and t-shirts, gardens with marquees, no food, etc. etc. are all wonderful if they are what the couple want, but it doesn't mean they're suitable/right for every couple and when people (not necessarily meaning to) push those alternatives down your throats it can be very annoying - just as much as people forcing the idea of a big white wedding being the done thing!

JBD

Personally I wouldn't pay. If it was a member of my immediate family who was struggling financially then I would ty to help them out, if I could, but otherwise no.
On the other hand I would be more than happy to bring a dish to a 'pot luck' reception, or a bottle to a 'BYOB' do.

jtr2803

MiddyMum wrote: »

No I bloody would not, I am a guest! I also dont go to weddings where I am only invited to the reception either. This tells me that they only want a gift and I am not important enough to be at the church.

It's really sad that you think that way, have you ever considered that the couple might have absolutely loved to have you at their day but weren't able to for a number of reasons and would be gutted if they knew the real reason you don't attend the reception?

We are having a tiny ceremony with just family and best friends because my OH suffers with terrible anxiety which would be compounded with a large group of guests and as his wife to be I want to do everything possible to make the day as stress free and happy as possible, even if it means I can't invite people who I would have loved to have there? We are having a reception after we get back from honeymoon and there will be plenty of people not invited to the ceremony that will be invited to the party, hopefully they won't be as judgemental as you seem to be.

EDIT - In response to the OP, I think I would be surprised if I was asked to pay for my own meal but it would really depend on the circumstances. If the couple were clearly on a shoestring but wanted people to celebrate with them then yes, I would happily do this but if it's purely because they have blown their budget on 'niceities' then I think may feel a little differently.

pollypenny

I have to smile at the thought of 'a posh do in a rugby club', Obviously not around here then. :rotfl:

meritaten

pollypenny wrote: »

I have to smile at the thought of 'a posh do in a rugby club', Obviously not around here then. :rotfl:

I am so glad YOU posted that! my thoughts exactly! posh do's are the GOLF club not the rugby club - the cricket club is somewhere in the middle!!!!!!!!!
and the Uber-posh have thiers in our local 4 star hotel (and having slept in one their rooms all I can say is .......had a more comfortable night in £25 B&B!):)

onlyroz

If they're really strapped for cash then they could do the buffet themselves for a lot less than £8 a head. A stack of sarnies could be made the day before, and served along with some bottles of pop.

pollypenny

Local golf club is like our rugby club, only with carpets and pretensions!

FatVonD

raven83 wrote: »

Gosh, what an absolute grasping, self obsessed mare she sounds! I am surprised she had any friends to invite with that sort of attitude :eek:

Funnily enough, in her first week at work she said to her deputy 'I'm not here to make friends' and she needn't have worried because she hasn't!

FunWithFlags

pollypenny wrote: »

I have to smile at the thought of 'a posh do in a rugby club', Obviously not around here then. :rotfl:

Lol, I don't know if you are quoting someone else but I didn't say it was a posh do! Just that it was at the rugby club. For what it's worth, they told us they are paying to have their photographs taken down in the stadium on the pitch and in the changing rooms and in front of all the rugby team's gear and stuff like that too. [ETA: That's where the food budget went I think!] It's not a rugby club in the sense this is where they all go play, like a golf club. It's the stadium where our city's rugby team plays.

albionrovers

They could set up a portable turnstile outside the loos and charge for going for a wee lol ......