Would you pay to go to a wedding?

andygb

FunWithFlags wrote: »

Lol, I don't know if you are quoting someone else but I didn't say it was a posh do! Just that it was at the rugby club. For what it's worth, they told us they are paying to have their photographs taken down in the stadium on the pitch and in the changing rooms and in front of all the rugby team's gear and stuff like that too. [ETA: That's where the food budget went I think!] It's not a rugby club in the sense this is where they all go play, like a golf club. It's the stadium where our city's rugby team plays.

Well this certainly makes things a lot clearer, and gives us an insight as to what type of people they are - self centred show offs, who like to brag about what they have done, where they have been, but are very mean when it comes to treating others.
It would serve them right if most people stayed away from the wedding.

pollypenny

Ah, that is a bit different!

A town's rugby club is a bit different. I would fancy a do at Cardiff Arms Park.

System

Watch out when they start giving dinner parties - you'll get a bill for for your meal, probably with service charge added.

shellsuit

Would I balls go!

Some people have got a right cheek :eek:

Our evening buffet alone cost 5 times what I paid for my dress.

I didn't have an extravagant dress at all, but what I'm saying is, that feeding our guests was more important than the dress. For me it was anyway. I couldn't have got a dress for £1K and then asked people to pay for food, that's just taking the complete and utter micky!

We did everything with our guests in mind. WE were getting married, the ceremony was our part, everything else was for those people who were joining us to celebrate.

If they can't afford to feed their guests, they either sort out their budget so that they can, or they don't feed them at all.

If it was a really close family member or friend who was getting married and they were going to a pub or restaurant and asked people to join them but asked if we could pay, I wouldn't mind, because obviously we would have the choice to go or not and to eat or not and can choose exactly what we eat, but booking a grand venue then expecting people to pay for their food is taking the pish.

PolishBigSpender

I think if you can't afford a wedding, you don't have one.
It's incredibly rude to invite someone and expect them to pay for themselves. I'd never ask my guests to pay, not even for their drinks. And if I couldn't afford it, there would be just a nice dinner for parents and witnesses.

PolishBigSpender

MiddyMum wrote: »

My opinion on the matter is simple. I will only invite people that I would want to enjoy my entire wedding. If size of the venue/finances restricts the amount of people I can invite, I will restrict the amount of people I invite to the entire wedding. I will also scale down my wedding expectations. If 2k would get me a talk of the year marquee but my guests have to open their wallet for a meal or only half of my guests can eat for free and the rest have to go home then something is wrong there! This is a matter of principles for me. If some of my invitees only want to go to the church but are not up for the " do " then that is their choice. I just can't get my head round this mindset that a lot of people seem to have nowadays " I will invite Martha & John to the evening do, but I dont want them at the breakfast ceremony, that's just for the nearest and dearest " Seriously, just don't invite them at all! I would never feel good knowing that I am not in the " nearest and dearest club " which is why I didn't get to see the bride walk down the aisle! But I'll do for the !!!! up. No thanks.

I agree with you. It's very rude to divide the guests into categories. It is also weird not to invite people to the church/office - surely this is what wedding is all about?

PolishBigSpender

NewKittenHelp wrote: »

So say your nephew was getting married and he had seven siblings, a few half-siblings and a few step-siblings. His wife/husband had an equal number, or perhaps more, and the immediate family all amounted to nearly 30 guests. Then you had close friends, say 15 each, bringing the total up to 60. Add in grandparents and we're at over 70. Now say that the church is a tiny little village church with only enough seating for 70, and this church has been the place where the generations of his wife/husband's family have married.

So they make the difficult decision to not invite aunts, uncles and cousins to the ceremony, but would like you to join them for the wedding breakfast/evening do to celebrate with them - you'd seriously not go because you're not being given priority over others?

Can't some people just stand at the back or wait outside?

shellsuit

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

I agree with you. It's very rude to divide the guests into categories. It is also weird not to invite people to the church/office - surely this is what wedding is all about?

The room we got married in at the reg office only held 40 people, so we couldn't invite everyone even if we wanted to.

A couple of people did pop by to see me going in though, which was lovely

NewKittenHelp

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

Can't some people just stand at the back or wait outside?

So you'd have people standing outside, and therefore missing the ceremony anyway?:rotfl:

bargainbetty

kitschkitty wrote: »

It is interesting how as guests many people feel some sort of entitlement to certain things when attending a wedding, but often all to easily criticise the bride and/or groom for doing the same thing!
.....
While I do agree that you can have a fantastic wedding on any budget it's so annoying when people tell you that, only to go on to tell you about their (cheap) wedding and how you could (read should) do it their way. I had that and it's really annoying.
......
Pub meals, village halls, jeans and t-shirts, gardens with marquees, no food, etc. etc. are all wonderful if they are what the couple want, but it doesn't mean they're suitable/right for every couple and when people (not necessarily meaning to) push those alternatives down your throats it can be very annoying - just as much as people forcing the idea of a big white wedding being the done thing!

I do agree with you in principle. My ex and I had a limited budget, but made the most of it. I haggled over everything and we even saved money by having the wedding cake served as dessert - two courses are cheaper than three etc.

However, when you choose what you want, you make damn sure you have the budget for it. If the happy couple want this wedding, with that meal and those guests, they need to make sure they can afford it.

The point here is that everyone can have their wedding their own way. If it is truly worth it to them, then they can do as they please. With their own money. They have no right to spend other people's.