Abused while standing at my car in a disabled bay

Saturnalia

Seems to be the way "society" is now. Everyone ripped up with jealousy that some random person might be getting 10p more out of the system than they are.

littlerat

I feel for you OP - it appears a to think the only way to be disabled is to be wheelchair bound and driving the grottiest oldest car possible - anything else and obviously you're lying. Apparently.

Dad has had the same (usually from the middle-aged up I'm afraid to say) and even if it doesn't upset you, it's annoying.

krisskross

morrisoscar wrote: »

I had been standing at my car with the door open just catching my breath before getting in when a man in his late 50’s stood at the back of my car said very loudly “I was going to park there but I’m not disabled. Oh neither are you!”]

If this is the worst 'abuse' that ever happens to you then you are very fortunate.

In my job I never worked a shift that did not involve a random member of the public spitting at me, swearing or threatening me with violence. What was I? A nurse in an A&E.

A few words is hardly abuse now is it?

I often am aware that my general slowness now I am older is irritating to some people and have on occasions been chivvied to get a move on etc. Is this abuse as well? Am I being abused and not realising it? I must be offended and take umbrage then....I will even post about my dreadful experience on a forum.

Some people need to get a life and stop being so ridiculously sensitive.

gregg1

krisskross wrote: »

If this is the worst 'abuse' that ever happens to you then you are very fortunate.

In my job I never worked a shift that did not involve a random member of the public spitting at me, swearing or threatening me with violence. What was I? A nurse in an A&E.

A few words is hardly abuse now is it?

I often am aware that my general slowness now I am older is irritating to some people and have on occasions been chivvied to get a move on etc. Is this abuse as well? Am I being abused and not realising it? I must be offended and take umbrage then....I will even post about my dreadful experience on a forum.

Some people need to get a life and stop being so ridiculously sensitive.

And maybe you could try and be a little less insensitive?

krisskross

gregg1 wrote: »

And maybe you could try and be a little less insensitive?

I am not insensitive to things that actually matter. My husband has just been told he has leukaemia to add to all his other problems so a random stranger with a throw away remark is not going to give me an attack of the vapours.

donny_osmonds_mad_fan

the only people who have ever questioned me or made remarks are women in the the 50 plus age group. There were two women recently in a sainsbury car park chatting standing in a BB space, it was really busy. I put the indicator on and they didnt move, i nudged in a bit and still they didnt move so i lent out the window and i said nicely hi would you mind moving over a bit so i can park please...one of them said no because you aren't disabled lol I asked how she knew that and she said well you aren't are you...had to show her my blue badge to prove it...I said to her not being funnny but all you can see is my top half how do you know if i have any legs? ...they moved anyways but i have been asked to see the blue badge before i have even turned off the ignition in some places, normally outside our local small supermarket on our local parade...not sure what makes surrey women about the age of 60 the disabled parking police but believe me it is rife around here. Wouldnt mind so much but i have a blue badge and also have a 2.5 yr old with cerebral palsy who can't walk...his face doesn't look disabled so he will have to cope with that too I imagine.

aliasojo

krisskross wrote: »

I am not insensitive to things that actually matter. My husband has just been told he has leukaemia to add to all his other problems so a random stranger with a throw away remark is not going to give me an attack of the vapours.

Well perhaps it might be better to not concern yourself with comparing how a stranger on the internet feels against how you feel then?

There's not a sliding scale of things we are allowed to feel aggrieved at, last I knew we were all individuals perfectly entitled to feel any way we like and announcing that people should get a life just because their annoyances don't fall in line with yours, is just damned rude.

I am sorry about your husband however, I hope the road you both now have to travel is not too arduous.

krisskross

aliasojo wrote: »

Well perhaps it might be better to not concern yourself with comparing how a stranger on the internet feels against how you feel then?

There's not a sliding scale of things we are allowed to feel aggrieved at, last I knew we were all individuals perfectly entitled to feel any way we like and announcing that people should get a life just because their annoyances don't fall in line with yours, is just damned rude.

But it is silly to be so upset and actually consider yourself to be 'abused' because of a simple remark.

To consider that the same word 'abused' covers a few words you don't like about parking from a complete stranger equally to the treatment of a neglected beaten child is ridiculous.

Makes me wonder if many people protest so much about others questioning whether they should be parking in disabled bays because they know that they could actually park elsewhere but are determined on a specific bay because they consider it their right.

aliasojo

krisskross wrote: »

But it is silly to be so upset and actually consider yourself to be 'abused' because of a simple remark.

It's not my right to judge people on how they feel.

'Feeling' is a personal emotion that is invoked by many different things.

Abuse comes in many forms, some serious, some not so.

I may not necessarily feel the same way as the OP but I have the ability to be accepting of another's comment without having to resort to disparaging them for it simply because it's not what I feel.

poet123

I think the term abuse is subjective, and even if we feel abused it does not necessarily mean we have been, or that others will see it that way. However, it is real for us and so others should accept that just because they would not see it that way makes it hurt any the less.

I would see what the OP described as rude and ignorant rather than abusive, but he is entitled to his opinion and for that to be respected as it did happen to him.