Abused while standing at my car in a disabled bay

Errata

krisskross wrote: »

If this is the worst 'abuse' that ever happens to you then you are very fortunate.

In my job I never worked a shift that did not involve a random member of the public spitting at me, swearing or threatening me with violence. What was I? A nurse in an A&E.

A few words is hardly abuse now is it?

I often am aware that my general slowness now I am older is irritating to some people and have on occasions been chivvied to get a move on etc. Is this abuse as well? Am I being abused and not realising it? I must be offended and take umbrage then....I will even post about my dreadful experience on a forum.

Some people need to get a life and stop being so ridiculously sensitive.

This definition will help you to understand what verbal abuse is, hopefully

Verbal abuse (also known as reviling) is best described as a negative defining statement told to the person

krisskross

OK fine I accept that we are all different and see things differently. What is totally inconsequential to me is a big deal to other people.

The major problem around disabled parking etc is that to a lot of people many of those claiming disability benefits are being shown as cheats. Not a day goes by without reports of thousands of pounds in disability benefits being stolen by cheating people.

I see many apparently fit young people leaping out of cars having parked in a disabled bay. As is always pointed out on here they no doubt have a hidden disability...certainly wouldn't ever use Nan or Grandads BB. However as no one is ever allowed to question the possible fraud will continue.

krisskross

Errata wrote: »

This definition will help you to understand what verbal abuse is, hopefully

Wikipedia again. I still do not consider the quoted comment in the OP to be abuse of any sort.

An adverse comment is not necessarily verbal abuse.

gregg1

krisskross wrote: »

I am not insensitive to things that actually matter. My husband has just been told he has leukaemia to add to all his other problems so a random stranger with a throw away remark is not going to give me an attack of the vapours.

We are all random strangers on here and of course your problems are far more serious than the one the OP is complaining about. Having said that, they still have a right to be upset by an insensitive comment, and to look for support on here, even though it may not be on the scale of the terrible situation you find yourself in.

I do hope things eventually turn out well for you and your family and that your husband recovers.

gregg1

krisskross wrote: »

OK fine I accept that we are all different and see things differently. What is totally inconsequential to me is a big deal to other people.

The major problem around disabled parking etc is that to a lot of people many of those claiming disability benefits are being shown as cheats. Not a day goes by without reports of thousands of pounds in disability benefits being stolen by cheating people.

I see many apparently fit young people leaping out of cars having parked in a disabled bay. As is always pointed out on here they no doubt have a hidden disability...certainly wouldn't ever use Nan or Grandads BB. However as no one is ever allowed to question the possible fraud will continue.

Yes, the system is unfortunately abused by a minority. I myself have seen people who I suspected were abusing the system. But it is still not my place or right to interrogate that person. With regard to the link between cheating the benefit system and blue badges, I don't really see much of a link there myself but anyway, you can't condemn the majority for the sins of the minority.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

krisskross wrote: »

Wikipedia again. I still do not consider the quoted comment in the OP to be abuse of any sort.

An adverse comment is not necessarily verbal abuse.

That's all very well, but if someone were to verbally abuse your DH for not really being as ill as he is, perhaps shortly after some rather intense treatment, or perhaps as he sat in the passenger seat and they only saw you getting out of the vehicle, maybe for the fifth time that week, someone called you every name under the sun, perhaps you wouldn't be smiling and laughing it off as much as you do now.


Idiots in car parks abuse people with leukaemia quite happily, just as much as those missing a leg or using a crutch or with epilepsy.



I do hope treatment goes well for you and your DH, though. And that you don't actually experience the abuse that other posters describe. I haven't ever experience it myself, but perhaps I look more able to defend myself than others, leg brace or not.

CKhalvashi

Brassedoff wrote: »

I am a lot younger than the OP and as some of you know, have a nice big Black Range Rover that is the latest model. I love using the BB spaces, it saves on getting the doors dinked.

I use the BB for that exact reason!

We've got a '62' Jag Sportbrake, but OH in particular has had a range of growly models (Porsche 911/Cayenne, BMW 535d, Lexus SC430 etc etc), and I've always had a worse reaction in her cars than my S-Maxes/406's etc etc.

As I said earlier, what someone else drives is nothing to do with anyone else!

CK

krisskross

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

That's all very well, but if someone were to verbally abuse your DH for not really being as ill as he is, perhaps shortly after some rather intense treatment, or perhaps as he sat in the passenger seat and they only saw you getting out of the vehicle, maybe for the fifth time that week, someone called you every name under the sun, perhaps you wouldn't be smiling and laughing it off as much as you do now.


Idiots in car parks abuse people with leukaemia quite happily, just as much as those missing a leg or using a crutch or with epilepsy.



I do hope treatment goes well for you and your DH, though. And that you don't actually experience the abuse that other posters describe. I haven't ever experience it myself, but perhaps I look more able to defend myself than others, leg brace or not.

We don't have a car so unlikely. We use taxis when he is well enough to go out. As he is over 65 there is no mobility provision for him.

I still think some people exaggerate the comments or even looks they get. I also consider that there is still widely reported fraud around disability benefits and blue badges which makes people very sceptical of those who do not appear to be disabled.

I would think the way to stop the disabled bay hassle is for everyone to pay parking charges where applicable. This would remove the financial advantage of the BB whilst still providing the wider spaces.

The_mangler

krisskross wrote: »

I would think the way to stop the disabled bay hassle is for everyone to pay parking charges where applicable. This would remove the financial advantage of the BB whilst still providing the wider spaces.

Whilst I appreciate the extra wide spaces my husband's blue badge warrants, I dont see why he should pay per hour the same rate as others do when it takes him twice as long, if not longer, to get around the same place as able bodied people. A flat rate for parking would be a much better option but I certainly think paying for the amount of time you are parked there discriminates against the disabled.

gregg1

krisskross wrote: »

We don't have a car so unlikely. We use taxis when he is well enough to go out. As he is over 65 there is no mobility provision for him.

I still think some people exaggerate the comments or even looks they get. I also consider that there is still widely reported fraud around disability benefits and blue badges which makes people very sceptical of those who do not appear to be disabled.

I would think the way to stop the disabled bay hassle is for everyone to pay parking charges where applicable. This would remove the financial advantage of the BB whilst still providing the wider spaces.

It depends what benchmark you are setting when you say people exaggerate. Of course some people are more sensitive than others but I don't think they should be vilified for that, everyone is different. Who are we really to say someone has exaggerated a comment and thereby judge whether they should or should not be offended? Some people have a tough skin and take things in their stride, others not so much. Neither is right or wrong, just different.