Home educate?

mummyroysof3

ViolaLass wrote: »

Was she unhappy? I don't think it's a problem per se that she was playing on her own.

i also dont see the problem with playing on her own..i have worries about my son starting nursery in september as he has fragile x syndrome. the nursery teacher informs me that at 3they spend most of their time playing alone or at the side of children not with them.

over the course of the time she spends there she may do several different things and as long as she isnt upset while there it wouldnt cause me to worry tbh. some children dont want to go and cry before hand then enjoy it when they there

FBaby

LTP123 wrote: »

All I want is for my daughter to grow up sure of herself and her abilities.

Then you need to insure she is never coerced into things, but encouraged exposure.

I've seen many kids with high anxiety with things, either because they have been forced and bullied into things (I used to have have a friend who said horrible things to her son if he didn't want to do something such as she was embarassed etc... and the kid ended up stressed like I had never seen in a child), or because they are always shielded from everything and they can't cope with any change or trying another new because they have never encouraged them to.

My DD has always been naturally full of confidence and loves novelty, whereas my son has always been much more sensitive and cautious about change. His instinct was to shield away from what he didn't know. I have always encouraged communication with him, reassured him that I was there with him, asking him to tell him how he felt about things, even when he could only use words such as 'scared', 'happy', 'sad'. I would give him time, but always made him believe that he could achieve what he was confronted him, and then of course always made sure to praise him once he'd done it. He is now 9 and his past three school reports have stated that he is a confident child. I am convinced he would have remind an anxious child if I had chosen to protect him from what he feared.

An child can't know their abilities if they don't try things, and they can't be sure of themselves if they are not given the chance to see that they can indeed achieve things they didn't think they could.

lostinrates

I do not have children, but did have an unconventional education, within a conventional system. I started boarding in UK as a primary aged child but my school did not meet some of the other educational requirements i had and at some expence and trouble it was arranged that i would spend two days a week receiving education For what were considered minor 'extra curriculars' within the school system here.

As a result i believe very strongly that tailoring education is beneficial, though i would seek to do it a different way from how my parents did, with weekend and vacation courses and tuition, and while i am most certainly not anti home education i think very few people have the necessary skills to do the best for their children. Sometimes, distance or exceptionally good compartamentalisation are beneficial.


Its lovely to have children who are compassionate and thoughtful, but to have children quite so sensitive seems to me to be something to strive against, whether in a home situation or a school one. I would certainly hope to encourage them towards being socially cohesive, though retain their individuality, by secondary age. To blame schools for losing individuality is, imo, unfair. Parents can foster skills, talents and interests outside school. Schools are to make us literate, numerate and basically educated to a basic level, and indeed, to be social, and sometimes political. Sometimes they by default teach us that sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do in life ( i am preparing my tax return this week) and others we don't, i was glad when i could drop physics! Learning to hold one's own beliefs and yet still have friends and also, to tolerate others opinions, is Hugely important, and something thoroughly tested in a school environment, but not necessarily the schools fault.

Good luck what ever you decide, but i strongly agree with the posters intimating that you need to be in the right frame of mind and outlook to do the best for your daughter should you be her main educator, so perhaps use the next couPle of years to address that so that you have a good choice, not the best of two not great choices.

Mojisola

Janepig wrote: »

Also, the problem with any advice given on these sorts of threads is that you have the home schoolers who are going to evangelise about that, and the ones who don't home school who are going to advise that the OP sends her DD to school. No middle ground really. Plus, I think the OP will settle on advice that pushes her in the direction she wants to go in anyway.

I think there's been quite a bit of advice to do what's best for her daughter as an individual - rather than saying go one way or the other - bearing in mind that her own fears may be colouring her decision.

Caroline_a

Interestingly enough there was a piece on the radio today about children starting school. One of the teachers on there said how the children whose parents say things like 'oh how exciting it will be when you go to school, you are so lucky, I wish I was going, you'll be able to tell me all about it and show me new things!', as opposed to the parents who say 'oh dear, how will I cope without you being at home...'

OP, I think you need to remember that your daughter is NOT you. Let her experience school without your prejudice and be positive about her new experiences. You are obviously scared about it, but as a parent it is your duty not to show your own fears to your children. Additionally, you have to ask yourself, are you suitably educated to be able to keep up with the curriculum, and if not, particularly in maths and sciences, how are you going to ensure that she gets a rounded education?

Mr_Toad

My daughter has a friend who's parent's, particularly the mother, felt like you. I think keeping your daughter at home would be a disaster for her.

Not because of any problem with home education but because the human interaction she's going to get first at nursery then throughout her school life is going to prepare her for life in the outside world. If she stays at home her primary interaction would be with you and from your posts you have so many issues of your own that it can not end well for your daughter.

Give her a chance, don't lock her up at home, send her out into the world of other children and there's a good chance she will turn out a well adjusted and fully functioning member of society.

My daughters friend was and remains to this day a lovely girl but a poor excuse for a human being, she has inherited all of her mothers neuroses and problems.

Her and my daughter went off to Uni together and her mother actually suggested that she go and live with her while she was away from home!

This girl isn't really safe to be out on her own but during the 3 years at Uni did do some catching up

mithras

Caroline_a wrote: »

Additionally, you have to ask yourself, are you suitably educated to be able to keep up with the curriculum, and if not, particularly in maths and sciences, how are you going to ensure that she gets a rounded education?

Only state schools are required to follow the national curriculum. Private and independent schools are free to set their own and home educators can choose to follow the NC if they wish or take a more child led or autonomous learning path.

Caroline_a

Yes I knew that, but if the OP's daughter is to go on to tertiary education she will find it easier if she follows the traditional paths. A case in point for example is Sports Science, whereby often young people think they only need to be good at a sport to do well in it, whereas it is quite a scientific subject area at the top levels.

I know of one person who home eds her child, and now as she is a teenager has got to the limits of her own learning, so is following a path of 'watch this tv programme/go through this website' and the child falls increasing further behind her peers...

poet123

Working at a college I second the above. I see quite a few kids who have been home educated and more often than not it presents a problem in terms of either levels achieved or social issues.

LTP123

masonn wrote: »

My daughter has a friend who's parent's, particularly the mother, felt like you. I think keeping your daughter at home would be a disaster for her.

Not because of any problem with home education but because the human interaction she's going to get first at nursery then throughout her school life is going to prepare her for life in the outside world. If she stays at home her primary interaction would be with you and from your posts you have so many issues of your own that it can not end well for your daughter.

Give her a chance, don't lock her up at home, send her out into the world of other children and there's a good chance she will turn out a well adjusted and fully functioning member of society.

My daughters friend was and remains to this day a lovely girl but a poor excuse for a human being, she has inherited all of her mothers neuroses and problems.

Her and my daughter went off to Uni together and her mother actually suggested that she go and live with her while she was away from home!

This girl isn't really safe to be out on her own but during the 3 years at Uni did do some catching up

Wow, quite harsh! The only issue I have is with trust. I'm a happy person, with a glass half full personality. To put it bluntly, I think school is the pits. I could stick up for myself and outwardly appeared to cope. Inside, I fell apart, sobbed to my mother who used to get stressed up as she was limited to how she could help.

Didn't it make me toughen up? No, I am a sensitive person. I still went to clubs had friends. Enjoyed the clubs because everyone was there because they wanted to be. What if you genuinely can't toughen up and are constantly overwhelmed?