Home educate?

daska

shellsuit wrote: »

I don't know if it's the same where you are, but playgroup is exactly that. Play. The kids play with whatever they want to and it's all about fun.

Nursery they do things together and it's all about learning. So they all sit and have story time. They all paint. They all make pictures with pasta and buttons.

In those surroundings, because they're all together doing the same thing (rather than Lucy painting in one corner while Reece is playing with a garage etc), they bring each other on. My son could only mutter the odd words when he started pre school (14 years ago), but 6 months in, he was chatting along with everyone else.

All our local playgroups have story time and joint activities as well as a small amount of independent play time. The space doesn't really allow for anything else, they're set up for painting or soft play or whatever that day's activities are. The nurseries/playschools DS2 attended had a lot more independent play.

What's concerning me is that this is a happy, funny, chatty child who clams up at playgroup. Most kids will start to come out of themselves when they've been there for a little while, especially if they go regularly.

shellsuit

coinxoperated wrote: »

"My daughter wouldn't be bullied by being taught at home, mainly because there would only be me and her (she's reaching 15 so concentrating on GSCE's so no need for days out and group things) and I'm not a bully!"

I can think of no better way to prepare your daughter for adult life, by only having you as company!!!

She will obviously not come across any mean people as long as you are there protecting her!

I've made my point, and you obviously are one of the 'pro-home edders' so I shall leave you to your cauldron.

She would just be in my company while she was being taught, she wouldn't just be with me 24/7 for Christ sake!

I don't even home educate her, it's something I'm thinking about, so I'm not a 'pro home edder' at all am I?

I want her to get a good education and while she's being bullied, she's not concentrating and so isn't learning to her full potential.

If it makes me a bad parent to want to get her out of that situation so that she can work hard and get good grades, then so be it.

marrbett

LTP123 wrote: »

No I didn't go to playgroup with my daughter. I asked one of the ladies and she told me the truth..

My daughter is not just shy or a bit quiet. She constantly needs loving, carries a comfort toy constantly and is a deep thinker. She hates any injustice towards anyone or anything.

I think trying to force her against her instincts at this young age, may not be helpful. Alot can change in a year at that age, don't rush her. Lots of reassurance and space/time to be herself is what she needs.OP, you know her best, keep options open at this stage, don't be pressured into making decisions.xx

FunWithFlags

coinxoperated wrote: »

The point I'm trying to get across, is that it is NOT a fix-for-all.

Many people think that home education will 'free their child of the system'. It doesn't, it just put a different system in place :rotfl:

That may be true but the home education system would provide a lot more chances to step in when there are issues of bullying, poor education or unhappiness. With school, it's more one size fits all and enforcement of bullying policies can be laughable. I have witnessed myself teachers mocking the children who try hard and as a trainee teacher was once informed I would hate a particular child. When I asked why, I was told she was fat and disgusting and I would see for myself. On my PGCE course, 70 people passed and I assume many of them are now teaching in my city. These people bullied each other, made fun of each other and shared "funny" stories of the "awful chavvy" children they had to teach. A system that trusts these kind of people to teach children is one I would much rather avoid and would prefer one where a child will be taught by someone who loves them.

Of course, I know all teachers aren't like this and have fond memories of a couple of mine before any teachers want to lynch me! :rotfl:

shellsuit

daska wrote: »

All our local playgroups have story time and joint activities as well as a small amount of independent play time. The space doesn't really allow for anything else, they're set up for painting or soft play or whatever that day's activities are. The nurseries/playschools DS2 attended had a lot more independent play.

What's concerning me is that this is a happy, funny, chatty child who clams up at playgroup. Most kids will start to come out of themselves when they've been there for a little while, especially if they go regularly.

Oh I see, sorry! I thought they child was always quiet, I didn't realise she was just quiet at playgroup. My mistake!

I wonder if she just finds the other children too loud and boisterous and so clams up and keeps herself to herself?

thegirlintheattic

kafkathecat wrote: »

If after a while she is not settling then consider home schooling again but whatever happens consider how you are going to help her become a more confident person. At the end of the day, at some point in her life, she will likely have to participate in an environment like school for example at work. She needs to learn the unspoken rules, the hierarchy, how to cope with problems rather than avoid them.

Home ed children learn all of those things anyway, they do not grow up in a vacuum. Ds has done many clubs and societies over the years and adapted to each one because he wanted to be there.[/QUOTE]

If you read carefully what I said, I said whatever happens. I did not say home schooled children did not learn these things or were isolated. The OP describes a child who cannot cope with playgroup, simply home schooling and sending her to clubs and societies is unlikely to significantly help or address the problems here. The OP needs to help her daughter overcome this 'sensitivity', regardless of where her DD is eventually educated. This maybe something that can be done 'in-house' as it were with the family and those who interact with DD or it maybe that the OP needs to seek out professional help.

ViolaLass

shellsuit wrote: »

she's reaching 15 so concentrating on GSCE's so no need for days out and group things ...

Really? No days out to show her what she's studying e.g. a museum, seeing the effects of erosion, going to a place of historical interest etc? And no group work, no learning how to work well with others, how to get your point across effectively, how to make best use of the skills of others. She doesn't need any of that because her GCSEs are coming up?

poet123

I really think that you are pre emting a problem that may not arise. Find a nursery which suits you and your child and let her go for one or two half days at first perhaps, and she will find her level. School is only compulsory from rising five, so you have some time to find the right school for her, that may mean moving or going private.

With respect, you sound as if you have deep seated issues which you are in danger of projecting onto your daughter. Those issues can do just as much damage (if not more so, as she is with you 24/7) as any issues at school could. Sensitivity is not necessarily a negative trait until it becomes the issue which precludes normal activities. School is pretty much the norm for everyone (although there are some good reasons to Home Ed) and until you have allowed your child to try it you will be doing her a disservice both in terms of emotional and educational development.

marrbett

ViolaLass wrote: »

Really? No days out to show her what she's studying e.g. a museum, seeing the effects of erosion, going to a place of historical interest etc? And no group work, no learning how to work well with others, how to get your point across effectively, how to make best use of the skills of others. She doesn't need any of that because her GCSEs are coming up?

To be fair, if she's sitting quite a few GCSEs in Jan or June next year, she may need to focus on studying/ going through past papers/ working on exam technique, more than doing all the 'fun' learning that you would normally do with home ed.It can tend to take over your life for abit,sadly.

Mojisola

marrbett wrote: »

I think trying to force her against her instincts at this young age, may not be helpful. A lot can change in a year at that age, don't rush her. Lots of reassurance and space/time to be herself is what she needs. OP, you know her best, keep options open at this stage, don't be pressured into making decisions.xx

Quite. Children develop at different rates - they're not all ready at 3 or 4 to cope with a mass of other children.

I would let her develop at her pace but, to make sure I wasn't passing on my insecurities to her, I would get some counselling or CBT or other help to change myself. Not being able to use a public toilet because of something that happened at age 6 is something that should be dealt with!