Home educate?

kafkathecat

coinxoperated, with all due respect your experience is irrelevant to a child who cannot cope with school. Giving them no alternative can only lead to mental distress. I have seen children come out of school on the edge of a breakdown who blossom under home education and I know others who have chosen to go to school and prefer it there. Each to their own. I also know children who have reached 16 with no formal qualifications but many children come out of school the same way. Ds has school friends who wish that they were home edded, does that mean schools shouldn't exist? No that is just silly.

shellsuit

daska wrote: »

Why will she come out of herself attending nursery when she doesn't say a word at playgroup? Genuine question as my experience with DS1/2 doesn't gel with that.

I don't know if it's the same where you are, but playgroup is exactly that. Play. The kids play with whatever they want to and it's all about fun.

Nursery they do things together and it's all about learning. So they all sit and have story time. They all paint. They all make pictures with pasta and buttons.

In those surroundings, because they're all together doing the same thing (rather than Lucy painting in one corner while Reece is playing with a garage etc), they bring each other on. My son could only mutter the odd words when he started pre school (14 years ago), but 6 months in, he was chatting along with everyone else.

shellsuit

coinxoperated wrote: »

22 years of age my good sir!

My younger sister is 20. She 'started school' at the age of 14 after my mother had passed away. She had exactly the same problems mixing with children her age, but did achieve A* in her GCSEs....

*looks down at nethers*

I'm a woman

I did think you would be much younger then me just from what you were saying and how you were saying it.

If you have never been to school, you can't knock it.

Same as I don't know anyone who is home schooled, or does home schooling, so I can't knock that.

FunWithFlags

Surely the fact you had no confidence is down to how your parents taught or your innate personality rather than home education in general though? Similarly, the friends you have who can't write their own names. That could have been managed at any point by their parents. Like a previous poster said, every child is different so while it didn't work for you, it doesn't mean it should not be an option.

To add another real life example to the thread for OP to consider, one of my family members home educates and her children have a lot of friends and confidence. The eldest has started his own business and the youngest is getting to the age where she is looking into qualifications etc with the aim of becoming a vet. My family member certainly doesn't think the sun shines out their backside either lol!

ETA: Forgot to quote, whoops!

ViolaLass

coinxoperated wrote: »

Home education does not necessarily lead to a bad education - I've just completed an A level in Maths, English and ICT and got the highest marks I could of!

Hmmm......

coinxoperated

Children/Young People will get bullied in ANY social situation, so rather than wrapping them up in cotton wool, teach and support them on how to manage bullies instead. The world is a tough place I'm afraid! How would my daughter be bullied at home? She wouldn't be bullied at home, but in life, unless you plan on keeping them in the loft, they will meet bullies. In employment, in day to day life. Teach them how to manage bullies? It's not as easy as that is it? Would that be your motto to those kids who have commited suicide because of bullies? Let's face it, some kids can ignore bullies and get on with their lives, others take it to heart and are very miserable. Agreed, but is this not down to parenting and the 'softly softly' approach. I fully agree that a child committing suicide because of bullying is horrific and should never happen. Although, surely a parent should be open and approachable should a child feel that upset they want to commit suicide? I'm not a parent myself, so I'll leave that there. I do feel that if parents educated their children to understand bullies more, it would help. So many parents seem to either be too busy to care or care too much (odd expression, obviously can't care too much, but not sure of how else to express that!) If I let my daughter go to school with fear and misery, I'm not doing my job as a parent properly. Agreed, but finding out why she's in fear and miserable and helping her through it will likely make her wiser and stronger at the end! And if that means removing my daughter from where the problem is, that's why I will do. Is this not teaching your daughter to run away from a problem she is unable to work out how to fix?
If you have never been to school, you won't understand how awful it can be for kids who are bullied at school, will you? Although I do not understand how awful it can be to be bullied school, I was most certainly bullied the entire way through home education!!!! Had my head dipped in toilets, regular general 'meanness', being left out of people playing etc etc. I'm sorry but if you think your child isn't going to get bullied because you home educate, its a sorry lesson to learn!

marrbett

coinxoperated wrote: »

I have been home educated from birth and have never been to school....

I would never home educate my own children or think it should even be an 'option' to be honest.

Children/Young People will get bullied in ANY social situation, so rather than wrapping them up in cotton wool, teach and support them on how to manage bullies instead. The world is a tough place I'm afraid!

Home education does not necessarily lead to a bad education - I've just completed an A level in Maths, English and ICT and got the highest marks I could of! BUT, I have to say, I had NO confidence. None whatsoever. In a school environment you are taught and tested. Home education doesn't allow for this really.

I also have home educated friends whose parents take a 'they'll learn when they want too' approach.... they can't write their own names and have jobs in their fathers companies and things. No sort of owned career path or choice.


Once again - I would strongly advice against it!

The thing is, you will come across many children who have been to school, who would say exactly the same, that they have not felt confident and have felt ignored by teachers.They feel under stress because of the testing/bullying etc.
Its very hard for parents to know what to do for the best, so all you are left with is doing the best you can for your child in the situation you are in. I would say to all the mums here that your instincts as a mum are usually spot on, so many times I've been 'persuaded' to follow others and go against my instincts, only to find that it was wrong!
Also, no decisions are unchangeable- while children are young, if you feel they need to be at home, they can do, then go to school later if when they are ready. We were going to put our son into school at the age of 7(like alot of the Scandanavian countries), but enjoyed the lifestyle that home education gave us so much, that he never went to school.He's actually rather lovely and copes well with all life throws at him, academically and socially.

thegirlintheattic

I do think you need to be very careful not to pass on your anxieties to your daughter. My mother had/has serious anxiety issues and I didn't realise how much it affected me until I moved away.

I'd start her on the half-days and see how she goes. Most children settle, and I think you need to be very careful not to show any anxiety about it and treat it as the normal experience it is for most children. It's not just being positive in front of her, body language will betray your true feelings.

If after a while she is not settling then consider home schooling again but whatever happens consider how you are going to help her become a more confident person. At the end of the day, at some point in her life, she will likely have to participate in an environment like school for example at work. She needs to learn the unspoken rules, the hierarchy, how to cope with problems rather than avoid them.

shellsuit

kafkathecat wrote: »

coinxoperated, with all due respect your experience is irrelevant to a child who cannot cope with school. Giving them no alternative can only lead to mental distress. I have seen children come out of school on the edge of a breakdown who blossom under home education and I know others who have chosen to go to school and prefer it there. Each to their own. I also know children who have reached 16 with no formal qualifications but many children come out of school the same way. Ds has school friends who wish that they were home edded, does that mean schools shouldn't exist? No that is just silly.

I hope you don't mind me asking, but you mentioned GCSE's before. I know if you home school, you have to pay for them yourself, but how much are they, roughly? Not that it matters, as I'd do anything for her happiness, but it would be good just to have a rough idea

coinxoperated

FunWithFlags wrote: »

Surely the fact you had no confidence is down to how your parents taught or your innate personality rather than home education in general though? Agreed! Totally! The reason for home education for me was the area I was brought up in. It was horrible with a bad gang culture. Technically speaking they did the right thing in some ways, BUT, it would of been better for them to of brought me up in a nicer area and have the ability to go to a better/suitable school.

Similarly, the friends you have who can't write their own names. That could have been managed at any point by their parents. Like a previous poster said, every child is different so while it didn't work for you, it doesn't mean it should not be an option. Agreed - Parents are to blame here!

To add another real life example to the thread for OP to consider, one of my family members home educates and her children have a lot of friends and confidence. The eldest has started his own business and the youngest is getting to the age where she is looking into qualifications etc with the aim of becoming a vet. My family member certainly doesn't think the sun shines out their backside either lol!

The point I'm trying to get across, is that it is NOT a fix-for-all.

Many people think that home education will 'free their child of the system'. It doesn't, it just put a different system in place :rotfl: